Conversion
by Arathe
Summary: Five years after his arrival on an alternate world, a chance meeting with someone from his past gives Edward Elric the hope that maybe, just maybe, he might have found his ticket home. Alter!Roy/Ed, Roy/Ed
1. Massachusetts: 1926

A/N: This fic is slightly AU, diverging from the storyline after the end of the series. (I haven't seen the movie yet, but I gather it picks up where the series left off.) Other than that, I am trying to stay true to the series, so if you find any errors in that respect, feel free to point them out. The tentative update schedule for this fic is once a week on Sunday. I'll do my best to stick to that.

Warnings: Yaoi, RoyEd eventually. They just work so well, don't they? Possible violence in later chapters, still waffling on that.

Disclaimer: Full Metal Alchemist does not belong, in any way, shape or form to me. I would however be willing to sell my soul, and possibly my cat, for one Edward Elric. 3

:Conversion - Chapter 1:

:Massachusetts: 1926:

Edward leaned his head against the window and sighed, breath making a faint cloud on the glass. He watched the land outside sail by, leeched of color by the gray sky and the steady drizzle of rain that seemed to be following him wherever he went. The glass was cold against his skin and he knew it wouldn't be long before the rain turned to snow. A few more weeks would see the land under a white blanket. He didn't mind winter really, even if it did make travel more difficult. There was a quiet sort of peace unique to the winter months that he enjoyed.

The train to Boston was a bit busier than he was used to, crowded full of people heading to the city for some reason or another. The steady hum of conversation over the familiar sounds of the train was grating on his nerves and starting to give him a headache. At least he had been able to keep the seats to himself so far by propping his feet up on the bench across from him and glowering at any passerby who paused too long. Though he was going to have a tough time keeping it up if they picked up any more people at the next station. Knowing his luck, he'd get stuck with some fluff-head bent on starting a conversation. Ed shuddered.

Pulling out his pocket watch, Edward flipped it open, then sighed and tucked it away. They would reach the next station soon, and then it would be at least an hour and a half more to Boston. Turning back to the window, he watched his breath fog the glass for a few moments, then on impulse reached up and traced a simple transmutation circle with a gloved finger. He stared at it for a moment, then closed his eyes and touched his hand to it.

Nothing happened.

Nothing ever did, and feeling slightly annoyed with himself, Edward wiped it away. He sank down in his seat and stared at his shoes sourly. Why he kept trying alchemy was beyond him. It didn't work in this world, and he knew it. Maybe it was desperation because nothing else had worked either. Ed had traveled the world the last five years and worked with some of the most brilliant scientists in the world, but he wasn't a single step closer to getting home than he was when he started.

It was hard not to get discouraged. Sometimes it felt like everything was happening all over again and Ed was chasing another tenuous dream that kept slipping just out of reach. Time after time solid theories and encouraging research led to nothing at all. Edward knew he should stop getting his hopes up, but it was hard not to. Just as it was equally hard not to let the repeated failures get to him.

Edward was jarred from his thoughts by a screeching of brakes as the train shuddered and slowed, preparing for the upcoming stop. Leaning back, Ed closed his eyes and summoned a picture of Alphonse in his mind's eye. His smile, his eyes, the roundness of his face. Probably not so round anymore. Al would have lost that baby fat by now. He watched his brother in his mind, smiling slightly. That was why he did it. Why he kept chasing shadows and following false leads. He did it because one of them just might lead him back to his little brother some day. That thought alone was worth everything he had gone through. The hope that he might one day see his brother whole again.

"Hey shorty, mind if I sit here?"

Eyes snapping open, Edward rounded on the unfortunate man who had asked _that_ question. "Just who are you calling so short that he-" Ed choked on his words and trailed off, staring at the man in front of him. It felt as though the world had dropped out under him as he stared into very familiar dark eyes. It couldn't be. Edward's mouth moved soundlessly for a moment before he managed to croak out, "_Colonel?_ Roy Mustang?"

Dark eyebrows shot up and the man who looked so much like Mustang cocked his head. "Have...we met?" he asked uncertainly.

Edward blinked at him and sank down into his chair, feeling weak. Of course it wasn't Mustang. His father had mentioned the possibility of there being people on this world who looked like their counterparts on his own. He supposed it was only a matter of time until he ran into someone he recognized. "Sorry," he said, pulling his feet off the seat opposite to give the man a place to sit. "I mistook you for someone I know."

The man settled across from him, regarding the younger man curiously. He really did look like the colonel, Ed mused, still feeling a little off balance. Same face, same eyes. The hair was a little longer, tied back into a short ponytail, but that was the only real difference. The man quirked an eyebrow at him in a manner that was very Mustang. "If you thought I was someone else, how did you know my name?"

Edward gaped at him and received a level stare in return. As if the situation wasn't strange enough, did they really have to have the same name? Honestly. "Your name is Roy Mustang?" Mustang smiled slightly and nodded, making a noise of agreement. "That's...odd." Edward said slowly, suddenly wishing the man would go away.

The smiled widened just a fraction into a very familiar smirk, looking more than a little amused. Ed scowled. The man was insufferable in any incarnation. "And you are?"

Ed blinked and sighed, realizing he wasn't going to get out of a conversation. "Edward Elric," he said shortly, hoping the man would get the point and shut up.

No such luck. "Nice to meet you Edward." He leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees and pinning Ed with an intent stare that he knew very well. It was the stare that said "You aren't getting out of this, so don't even try." He sighed and returned the stare with a sullen glare that didn't seem to faze Mustang in the slightest. "Now I don't suppose you'd mind telling me how you know me?"

"It's a long story," Ed said with a sigh. "You wouldn't believe me anyway." Which was very true.

"Well, we still have a good hour and a half to Boston so I think I have more than enough time to listen to a long story. As for whether or not I'll believe you..." he shrugged. "I can't really say until you tell me, can I?"

Edward glared at him, but Mustang just smiled and sat back, waiting. Oh hell, who was he kidding? He'd never win a contest of wills with that man. Not that he would ever admit that out loud. "You'll think I'm nuts," he grumbled irritably. He pressed his hands together, warm flesh against cold metal beneath his gloves. He glanced up at Mustang. Why not? Worst case, the man would just write him off as a crazy. "What would you say if I told you I wasn't from this world?"

That earned him a raised eyebrow. "As in...a Martian?"

Ed had to laugh at that. "Not quite. I'm still human, just not from this world. I traveled here through the Gate in order to save my brother. In the the world I come from, there's a man who looks just like you. Also named Roy Mustang." Ed picked at his glove, peering at the other man from under his bangs, but Mustang said nothing, nodding for him to continue.

After a moment of consideration he pulled off his right glove, holding out the hand for Roy to inspect. "It's called automail," he told him, curling the metal fingers around Mustang's when the other man touched it. To his credit, his only response was a slight widening of his eyes. "Or rather, a poor imitation. I was only sixteen when I first arrived here and once I grew a little the automail I had needed replacing, so I did the best I could with what I had." That had been a nightmare. Trying to imitate what Winry had made him when he had never payed much attention to how automail was built was no easy task. The end product was serviceable, but by no means up to par with what he was used to.

He withdrew his hand, slipping his glove back into place. "I guess the best place to start would be the beginning." Edward sighed, looking into the dark eyes of the colonel-but-not. "Have you ever heard of alchemy?"

* * *

"And here I am." Edward said with a sigh. His throat felt raw and dry and he swallowed with a grimace. Hazards of talking nonstop for over an hour he supposed. Mustang was silent as he had been for nearly the entire story, eyes distant and thoughtful. Ed was actually surprised the man had let him get through the entire thing. Even he had to admit it sounded like the ravings of a lunatic as far as the people of this world were concerned.

When it became apparent that Mustang wasn't going to say anything immediately, Ed turned his attention to the window, blinking when he realized they were already in Boston. The train was crawling along, and while Edward couldn't see the station yet, he knew it would probably only be a few minutes more.

He glanced back at Mustang, frowning when he realized the man was watching him, that damnable smirk on his face. "What?"

"I was just thinking. That colonel of yours was quite a man, wasn't he?"

Edward rolled his eyes. If an ego was a physical thing, Mustang's would probably be smothering him right about now. "Yeah," he admitted reluctantly. "He was something. Wouldn't surprise me one bit if he was Fuhrer by now." The smirk widened, and Ed scowled. "Doesn't change the fact that he's a bastard though, and so are you."

Mustang laughed at that, shaking his head with a genuine smile. "Very forward with your opinions, aren't you?" Before Ed could answer, the other man nodded to the window. "Looks like we're here."

Edward blinked and looked out the window, watching as the train pulled into the station. Boston. He wasn't even sure why he was there, except that he had needed to get out of New York. The last thing he wanted was to be trapped in that city for another winter, even if he was at something of loose ends. There was nothing promising at the moment that he hadn't already pursued. So, on a whim that morning he had decided to pack his bags and go somewhere else. He hadn't even decided where until he had gotten to the train station.

He stood up and grabbed his suitcase from where he had tucked it under the seat, waiting until the car cleared a little before making his way off the train as Mustang trailed behind him. The sudden shock of cold air as he stepped onto the platform caught him by surprise, and he pulled his coat tighter around him. Edward paused, feeling a little lost. It was the first time he had ever been to Boston and he wasn't really sure where he was going.

Mustang seemed to notice his hesitation and took his arm and led him off the platform and into the terminal, leaning in so he could be heard over all the noise. "Where are you staying?" he asked.

Ed stared down at the polished floor then looked up with a shrug."I hadn't thought that far ahead, actually." That earned him a raised eyebrow and in a burst of childishness Edward stuck his tongue out at the older man. "I kinda left suddenly, don't look at me like that!"

Mustang smirked and Edward scowled, briefly entertaining the merits of kicking the other man. Hard. "You can stay with me if you like."

Ed blinked, not sure he had heard quite right. "Huh?"

"I said you can stay with me if you like," Mustang repeated, leading him down another set of stairs and holding open the door for Edward as they stepped into the cold October air again. "I've got more than enough room for a guest, and honestly," he looked at Edward and grinned. "You've got me curious."

"Curious enough that you're willing to take a stranger home with you? I could be lying you know." Edward mentally kicked himself. Way to go, moron. You get offered a free place to stay, and you argue with him. Genius.

"Maybe," Mustang said, giving him a sidelong look. "Do you realize you called me 'Colonel' four times while you were telling me your story? Well, three. Once I believe it was 'Colonel bastard.'" He smirked.

Puzzled, Edward cocked his head and tried to remember. Had he really? He shrugged and offered a half-smile. "Sorry. I guess I wasn't thinking."

"I know," Mustang said without looking at him, eyes scanning the street for something. After a moment he looked over at Edward. "Which is what, among other things, convinced me that you weren't just spinning me a tale."

Edward was about to ask just what those other things were when a black car pulled up beside them. An older man climbed out, nodding to Mustang. "Well?" he said, waving in return and then looking at Ed. "What do you say?"

Looking down at his shoes, Edward considered. Staying with the colonel-but-not would be strange, to say the least. He frowned, mind working furiously. There was always the possibility that this Mustang and the one he knew were connected somehow. In fact, he would be willing to bet on it. Which meant he might be able to tap into that connection somehow to get home. It was a long shot, he knew that, but it was worth trying. Besides, who was he to say no to a free place to crash? Edward shrugged and grinned. "Why not?"

Mustang seemed pleased by this. He opened the car door for Ed, who slid into the back seat, stowing his suitcase by his feet. The door slammed shut and Mustang climbed in the other side. Once they were settled, he nodded to the driver. "This is Evan. Evan, this is Edward Elric, he'll be staying with us for a while."

The man nodded politely to him, not taking his eyes off the road as he pulled away from the train station. "A pleasure Mr. Elric."

"Ed, please." He said automatically. He hated being called Mr. Elric. That was his father, not him.

"Evan looks out for me, don't you?" Mustang said.

There was a long-suffering sigh from the front seat, and Edward grinned. He knew that sigh. Had heard it from Hawkeye on numerous occasions. It was the sigh that wondered how one ever managed to put up with a certain dark-haired egomaniac. "I do what I can, sir." Mustang grinned and winked at Edward, who found himself smiling back. The man's good humor was infectious. Maybe he wasn't _quite_ the bastard the Roy Mustang he knew was.

The rest of the trip passed in silence, and Edward turned his attention to the world outside the window. The steady drizzle that had followed him from New York seemed to be letting up, he realized, even though the clouds still hung dark and heavy in the sky. Even in the grey light the trees were dazzling shades of red and gold, a sudden gust of wind sweeping leaves from branches as he watched.

Edward glanced over at Mustang, then back out the window. He wasn't sure yet what he would have to do to use the connection between the two. He was certain enough that he would need _this_ Mustang's help to do it, though he didn't think it would be too hard to convince the man. He already seemed genuinely curious about the whole thing as it was. Ed smiled at nothing in particular, suddenly feeling better than he had in ages. Maybe, just maybe, he was finally on to something.

It obviously wasn't far to Mustang's home, because after only a few minutes the car pulled into the drive of a large estate. Edward gaped, turning to glance at the dark-haired man. "You live _here?_" he asked, incredulous.

The question was met with a smirk. "I told you I had plenty of room."

Edward rolled his eyes. "A bit of an understatement, I think. How many people live in that monstrosity anyway?" Monstrosity was really the only word for the large manor, Ed decided and he peered out the window. He had a sneaking suspicion someone could get lost in there and die of starvation before they found the way out.

"Five."

"Five," Ed repeated flatly, turning to stare at the other man, who seemed amused by his reaction. "You have got to be joking, Mustang. What a fantastic waste of space."

An elegant shrug and a smile. "Myself, Evan, the maid, the cook, and Kara. Evan is of the opinion I should get married and have legions of children to fill the place out a bit," he said with a wry smile. "Since that isn't going to happen in the foreseeable future, we keep most of the house closed up."

Edward tried to picture Roy Mustang as a family man, but couldn't. Too strange a notion, that. "Who's Kara?" he asked as the car rumbled to a stop.

"My niece," Mustang said, nodding his thanks to Evan as the older man opened the door for him. Edward didn't bother to wait for the man to come around to his side, he hated letting people do things for him. Grabbing his suitcase, he pushed open the door and got out, closing it behind him and coming around to stand with Mustang, still staring at the building looming above him. Damn, but that was a huge house.

"She visiting?" Ed asked, following the other man up the walk.

Mustang shook his head. "No. Her parents died in an accident last year," he sighed, looking suddenly sad and Ed shifted uncomfortably. He hadn't meant to stumble into awkward territory. After a moment Mustang shook his head and smiled slightly. "Having her around certainly makes things livelier."

As if on cue, there was a happy squeal as a dark-haired blur darted around the side of the building and attached itself to Mustang's leg. Ed grinned as the blur resolved itself into a little girl, four, maybe five years old, beaming up at her uncle and babbling happily. She was practically covered in mud from head to toe, but it didn't seem to bother Mustang in the slightest as he picked her up, settling the girl against his hip. "You didn't give Emily too much trouble while I was gone, did you?"

"No!" She chirped, donning that innocent look of a child who had, indeed, been a great deal of trouble but would certainly never admit it.

"She's been an absolute terror," Ed looked up to see a plump, middle-aged woman appear around the corner. She smiled at the little girl with obvious affection, then sighed in exasperation. "Oh Kara, you're getting him absolutely filthy."

She reached out to take the girl, but Mustang waved her off with a smile. "I don't mind, I can always change later. Say hello to our guest, Kara."

Edward smiled as bright green eyes turned on him. She clung to Mustang and smiled shyly at Ed. "Hello."

"Hello," he returned, smile widening when she tried to hide behind her uncle's shoulder. Cute kid.

She peered at him for a moment more from the safety of her uncle's arms before turning to Mustang and saying in a loud whisper. "She's pretty."

Edward took back his previous assessment. She was most certainly _not_ cute. He growled, both at the comment and Mustang's surprised laugh. Taking a deep breath, Ed told himself that she was just a kid and didn't know any better. Just because his hair was long didn't mean he looked like a girl, anyway. Did it? He scowled at the little girl, who was looking back and forth between him and her uncle, confused.

Mustang looked over at him and grinned widely. "Edward is a boy, sweetheart."

"Oh." Kara looked back at Edward thoughtfully, who forcefully reminded himself that killing children was generally frowned up. After a moment she smiled brightly at him and announced, "You're still pretty."

Ed stared. "Um." He looked at Mustang, who's shoulders were shaking with suppressed laughter, then back to the girl in his arms. "Thanks," he said, not really sure if he should take it as a compliment or an insult.

She seemed content with that as Mustang passed her back over to the woman. "Get her cleaned up, would you Emily?" He looked back at Edward as she disappeared into the house, a wide smirk on his lips.

"Stop laughing at me you bastard," Ed growled, and if possible, the smirk only grew.

"I wouldn't dream of it."


	2. Transition

A/N: Chapter 2 right on time! Yay for me! This fic is a bit of an experiment on deadlines for me, and I was worried I might not make it this week. On Thursday night, as I'm writing the second chapter, each word like pulling teeth, I realized something. It sucked. Hard. So I scrapped the whole thing and started over from a different point. I'm much happier with it, and I even got it done on time.

Also, I wanted to go over something since there seems to be a bit of confusion. This IS going to be Roy/Ed eventually, not Alter!Roy/Ed. Just gotta be patient with me. :)

Warnings are in the first chapter, enjoy!

:Chapter 2:

:Transition:

Edward rolled over and buried his face in his pillow, hovering between sleep and awareness without really being either. It took his sleep fogged mind a moment to figure out what had woken him. He was cold. No, not cold, downright _freezing. _The rational part of his mind suggested that he rectify the situation before he froze to death. The tired and cranky part of his mind politely told the other part to shut the hell up and let him go back to sleep. Edward was inclined to agree with the second part, but the first was not to be denied and against his better judgment he found himself awake.

"Damn it," he muttered, feeling around for the blankets that he must have kicked off sometime during the night. Maybe if he didn't think too much he could still go back to sleep. The world however, seemed to have different plans for him. Giving up his blind search, Ed sat up and rubbed his eyes with a sleepy yawn.

The blankets, he discovered, had somehow vacated the bed completely and were lying in a heap on the floor. He glared at them for a few minutes, blaming his premature awareness entirely on the offending pieces of cloth. No apology was forthcoming however and he yawned again, swinging his legs over the side and wincing as his bare foot came in contact with cold floor. He stumbled over to the blankets and picked them up, tossing them back on the bed.

A peek out the window confirmed that indeed, no sane person would be up and about yet. With a sigh, Edward cast about for a shirt, frowning when he realized his clothes weren't where he left them. A quick search of the room revealed that his clothes were gone altogether, leaving him only the pajama bottoms he had slept in. With a grunt of annoyance he decided he was too tired to care. Caring didn't start until after the first cup of coffee.

Coffee. Feeling slightly cheered by the prospect, Edward ran a hand through his sleep-mussed hair and tied it back in a quick tail. Slipping into the hall, he paused, something catching his attention. Was that bacon he smelled? His stomach rumbled a happy affirmative and Ed, needing no further urging, made a quick stop to relieve himself and then followed the heavenly aroma to the small dining room with a minimum of difficulty and only two wrong turns.

Mustang was already up and dressed, newspaper in one hand and a piece of toast in the other. He looked up as Ed entered, raising his eyebrows at his guest's state of undress. Edward noticed this, and was thankful he was too tired to be embarrassed about it. "Good morning," Mustang said as Ed slumped into a chair.

Head hitting the table with a muffled thump, Ed grunted, "Coffee first, talk later."

Mustang chuckled, pushing his own cup over to the younger man. "Take it, I'll get another."

Edward picked up the cup with a mumbled thanks, sitting back and taking a long drink. It was hot, and burned a bit on the way down, but he didn't care. He finished the coffee quickly and set down the cup, feeling a little more human. A little. Crawling back into bed until noon would probably work wonders, but it wasn't really an option now. Ed sighed. "I needed that."

"I noticed." Mustang folded up his newspaper and set it aside. "Not much of a morning person are you?"

"No," Edward said, making a face. "What time is it anyway?"

"Just past six-thirty." Ed jumped as the answer came from behind him, Evan appearing from nowhere with two fresh cups of coffee and a plate in hand. The man was like a ghost, he was never there until you needed him, and Ed swore he hadn't once actually seen him come or go. Evan didn't bat an eye at his state of undress or at his automail, setting the plate and one cup of coffee down in front of him and passing the other to Mustang.

"I wish I hadn't asked," Edward grumbled, thanking Evan. While waking up this early was just wrong on many levels, he could definitely get used to being fed.

"I apologize about your clothes Edward." Evan said. "I had them taken down for washing, I didn't expect you to be up so early. I'll have them back in your room by the time you're done with breakfast."

Ah, that explained that then. "No problem, I'll live." It was very strange having people do things for him. He wondered how the rich ever got used to it without feeling guilty. "Uh, I can wash my own clothes and stuff though. I mean, I wouldn't want to be an imposition and you already..." he trailed off at the offended look on the old man's face. "Unless you don't mind," he finished weakly.

"Of course not," Evan said immediately, picking the empty cup up off the table. "It isn't an imposition at all."

There was a chuckle from the other side of the table, and Ed looked over to see Mustang watching him with amusement. "Never suggest that Evan can't take care of things," he advised, smiling behind his coffee. "He takes his job very seriously."

With a nod and a yawn, Edward filed that advice away and went back to giving his breakfast the attention it so deserved. Mustang pushed his plate aside and watched him silently, nursing his coffee. Once Ed was finished eating, he said, "You know, that arm of yours is truly remarkable. It works just as well as a real one. I've never seen anything like it."

"This?" Edward asked, gesturing with his automail hand. "This is junk. You should see what my mechanic back home could do. _That_ was some quality automail." He sighed. What he wouldn't give to have his old automail back, not these sluggish pieced-together pieces of crap he had now. At least he hadn't gotten much bigger for all that he had grown a little taller. Very little, he thought sourly. With a little tinkering he had been able to make a replacement arm and leg, but if he had to replace the fittings for either, he would have been out of luck. "Its a small shop in the middle of nowhere, but the Rockbells make some of the best automail out there."

"Limbs like that are common then?"

Ed shrugged. "More or less. There were a lot of people who lost limbs in the war, some who lost them through alchemy like I did. There are even people who voluntarily replace their arms with automail to make themselves stronger, but that's just stupid if you ask me."

"Amazing," Mustang said, pulling out a pocket watch and checking it with a sigh. "I wish I could stay and talk longer, but I have a meeting with one of my business partners in a half hour." He didn't look particularly thrilled. "Hopefully I'll be back around noon. Until then, feel free to have a look around, do a little exploring."

"Alrighty. Have fun?" Ed offered, grinning when Mustang just snorted and rolled his eyes. Apparently business meetings weren't his idea of a good time. With a wave Mustang was gone, and Edward swiped a lonely piece of left over bacon from his abandoned plate. He ate slowly, considering what to do.

Bath first, he decided. Hopefully his clothes had reappeared by now so he would have something to wear after he washed up. Then Edward would see if he could beg some paper and a pen off of Evan and start working on ideas to get himself home. He sighed. That was probably going to be a lot of trial and error since he had nothing to work from, but he wanted to have something to show Mustang when he broached the subject with him, even if it was only theories.

There was a sudden tug on his pant leg, and Edward started, looking down to see Kara standing beside his chair, hair mussed and dressed in a pink nightgown. When had she gotten there? Kara rubbed her eyes sleepily, and when she realized she had his attention, she asked, "Where's Uncle Roy?"

"He left for a meeting," Edward told her. She looked rather put out by the news, and Ed added, "But he said he would be home by noon."

"Oh." She considered this for a moment. "I'm hungry."

Ed blinked at the sudden change of subject. "Um." Not sure what to do, he looked around, but no help seemed forthcoming. "Do you know where the kitchen is?" he asked. She nodded, yawning.

"All right then," Ed stood up and picked the little girl up, swinging her up onto his shoulders and grinning at the delighted squeal. "Let's go find you some breakfast."

"How come your arm is like that?" she asked, poking his automail with a tiny finger. "It's cold."

"Well," Ed said slowly, trying to figure out how best to explain it to a little girl. "My real arm fell off, and so I had to replace it with a metal one."

"It fell _off?_" She repeated, and Ed smiled inwardly at her horrified tone. "How come?"

"Well, I did something really bad, and that was my punishment," Ed told her, which was more or less the case, at least with his leg. He didn't think she would really understand if he tried to explain the whole Al thing to her.

"If I do something bad, with my arm fall off too?" She asked in a small voice,

"Nah. It only happens if you do something _really _bad. 'Sides, you're a good girl, right?"

"Right," Kara agreed, though she didn't sound entirely convinced Ed noted with amusement.

"All right kiddo, where are we going?" Kara pointed him to a small side door Edward hadn't noticed earlier. The kitchen, he discovered, was only a short hallway and two doors away. He made a point to remember so he could find it on his own later.

A small, thin man looked up as they entered, smiled at them and went back to cutting potatoes. "What can I do for you two?" he asked, a faint accent to his words that Edward couldn't place.

Ed lifted Kara off his shoulders and set her back on her feet. "The midget here says she's hungry."

The man dropped the sliced potatoes into a bowl and set his knife aside, looking at Kara with one bushy eyebrow raised. "That so? And what would you like miss Kara?"

"Eggs!" she chirped.

"Then eggs you shall have," he told her with a smile. He waved her into the chair he had just vacated, picking up the knife and sliced potatoes and putting them on the counter. Without turning, the man said, "There should be some eggs on the counter there behind you Ed, pass them over would you?" Edward did so, a little surprised, both at the friendly, familiar tone and the fact that the man already knew his name. As if reading his mind, the little man just grinned over his shoulder at him and said, "Evan told me, if you're wondering. I'm Liam, the one in charge of feeding this lot. Roy'd die without me, isn't that right kitten?" he said, nudging Kara.

She giggled and nodded. "Liam says Uncle Roy can't cook," she informed Edward, rolling an abandoned potato back and forth between her hands.

"I tried to teach him once, but he's a lost cause, that one. He burned soup. Soup!" Liam threw his hands up theatrically and Ed grinned. "One disaster after another with that man, I swear. I finally had to ban him from the kitchen after he nearly burned the place down," Liam said, pointing to scorch marks on the wall near the stove.

"Somehow, I'm not really surprised," Edward said, vastly amused. This Roy Mustang may not have been the Flame Alchemist, but he still managed to burn things well enough apparently.

"You still hungry while I'm at it?" Liam asked, cracking eggs into a pan.

"I'm good, thanks," Ed said. Then a thought occurred to him. "I don't supposed you know where I could find Evan though, do you?" Liam bobbed his head in a cheerful affirmative, pointing behind Edward with a spatula.

"What can I do for you, Edward?"

Okay, that was starting to get downright spooky, Ed decided, turning to find Evan digging through the pantry behind him. He knew for a _fact_ the man wasn't there a minute ago. "Uh, I was wondering if my clothes were done?"

"Yes," Evan said, finishing whatever he was doing and closing the pantry door. "They're clean and waiting for you in your room."

"Thanks. I don't suppose you could point me in the right direction for a bath then?" He tugged on his ponytail with a rueful smile. "I'm a mess."

"Of course, follow me," Evan said, turning to leave without waiting for a reply.

"Bye Ed!" Kara called, waving at him. He smiled at her and waved back, hurrying after Evan.

The old man led him to a room not far from the guest room he was using. "There should be everything you need inside. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Actually, yeah," Edward said, remembering his plans from earlier. "I don't suppose there's any way I can beg some paper and something to write with off of you? There's something I want to do before Mustang gets back."

"Certainly. I'll have it waiting for you after you are finished bathing."

"Thanks," Ed said, and Evan just inclined his head and vanished down the hall. Edward stared after him for a moment. He got the impression that the old man didn't like him for some reason, though the others had been friendly enough. Resolving to ask Mustang about it later, Ed went back to his room, and true to word, found everything waiting for him.

A half an hour later found Ed cleaner, happier, and more awake. After straightening up after himself, he made his way back to his room, braiding his damp hair as he went. There was a stack of blank paper and a pencil waiting on the desk for him as promised. Evan may not like him much, but that didn't stop him from getting things done.

Ed picked up the pencil, tapping the blunt end against his leg as he walked over to the window. It really was a nice day, no trace of the rain and clouds that had been so prevalent the day before. Might as well take things outside, find a place to park and get some work done out in the fresh air while it was still warm enough to get away with it.

Picking up the papers Edward went downstairs, grabbing his coat and shoes from where he had left them near the door and slipped out into the crisp, cool morning. Shielding his eyes against the unexpected brightness, Edward paused, looking around. There was a stand of trees around the north side of the house that looked promising, still resplendent in the brilliant shades of fall. Edward began walking that way, tucking his papers under his chin and shrugging on his coat.

Leaves crunching under his feet, Edward wandered from tree to tree, looking for one that would suit his purposes. It didn't take long, and soon Ed found himself staring up at a great brute of a climbing tree, a perfect branch about halfway up with his name on it. Rolling up the stack of papers and sticking them in his pocket, Edward grinned and swung himself up on to the first branch, climbing the gnarled old tree like he was born to it.

Once he got to his branch he settled down with a happy sigh, shifting a little until he got comfortable and leaning back against the trunk. Edward sat like that for a long time, content to watch the leaves swaying in the breeze, one or two of them occasionally separating from its fellows and dropping to the ground below. He was in a better mood than he had been in a long time. Ed pulled the paper from his pocket and retrieved the pencil from where he had tucked it behind his ear. He was finally, _finally_ on to something.

A voice in the back of his mind whispered that there was no guarantee that it would work; no guarantee it even could. Edward ignored that voice. He had a hunch, a gut feeling that if he could just figure out the how, that he would be able to use this Mustang to get home. Years of experience had taught him that his hunches were usually right, particularly when it came to alchemy. The trick would be getting it to work long enough to get anything done, but Edward was relying on the connection between the two to take care of that problem.

Resting the stack of paper against his knee, he tapped the pencil on his nose for a moment, thinking. Best to start with the basics and work out from there, he decided. Ed hunched over and began to write.

* * *

"What on _earth_ are you doing up there?" 

Edward ignored the question, not wanting to lose his train of thought. He waved a hand vaguely to stall any further questions and finished what he was writing, pencil scratching against paper. Reading it back over, he nodded to himself, satisfied. Picking up the stack of notes, Ed swung his legs over the branch, looking down to find Mustang looking up. He grinned down at the other man. "I like trees. Helps me think."

Mustang snorted. "Won't be doing much thinking when you fall and break your neck."

Ed raised his eyebrows, absently sorting his notes into some semblance of order. "Do I detect concern for my welfare?"

"More concern for how I'm going to explain to the police how someone got his fool self killed on my property."

Rolling his eyes, Ed said dryly, "I'm touched Mustang. Really." He leaned over and put a hand to his heart. "Right here."

Lips twitching up into a smile, Mustang shook his head and said, "You coming down? Liam has lunch waiting."

At the mention of food, Edward realized that he was, indeed, quite hungry. He hurriedly mashed the rest of his notes together, one page slipping from the others in his haste. Ed made a grab for it and missed, watching helplessly as it fluttered to the ground. "Crap. Can you grab that?"

Mustang did so, looking at the paper curiously as Ed swung down out of the tree faster than was probably safe. He landed lightly next to the other man, who passed the paper back to him. A quick glance showed it to be one of the arrays he had drawn up, and he stuffed it back in with the others. "How'd you know I was out here, anyway?" he asked suddenly.

"Emily saw you head out this way earlier," Mustang said, looking at the notes in Edward's hand. "What was that?" he asked, pointing.

"Alchemy array," Ed said, rolling everything up and sticking it in his coat pocket.

Mustang nodded in understanding. Edward had given him a brief rundown of alchemy the night before, and the man had caught on remarkably well considering that two days ago he had never even heard of it. "What is it for?"

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that," Ed said, deciding it was as good a time as any as they began to walk back to the house. "I think you might be able to help me get home, and I was wondering if you'd be willing to help me try."

Mustang nodded slowly. "I thought you might ask. It seems to me that the fact that there's a Roy Mustang both here and there is a little too strange to be coincidence."

"Yeah," Edward said, tucking his pencil back behind his ear. "The two of you are connected somehow, I don't doubt that. With your help, I might be able to use that connection to uh...hitch a ride home, more or less. It could take a long time before I figure out what we need to do, though. Will you help me?"

Mustang stopped suddenly, looking up at the sky for a long moment. He nodded once to himself, then looked over at Edward, a faint smile on his lips. "I'll help with anything you need. Just tell me what to do."


	3. Turning Point

A/N: Ahhh! I'm so sorry this is late! I had a really tiring weekend, (Which I'll rant about at the end if anyone cares, hehe) and next thing I knew it was Sunday, and I was a zombie with a half-finished chapter. :begs forgiveness: To make up for it, it's nearly a thousand words longer than the last two. ;)

Just a note, if anyone cares how things are coming along during the week, I do update my progress on my profile several times a week, and if there's going to be a delay, there will be an explanation there.

Much love to my reviewers, you guys keep me going. I make a point to reply to many of the reviews, so if you left a long one or asked a question, be sure to check to see if I sent you a reply.

Without further ado, chapter 3. Enjoy!

:Chapter 3:

:Turning Point:

Edward carefully connected the last line, absently scratching his nose with his free hand, adding more to the collection of chalk dust on his face and in his hair. Finished. Edward sat back on his heels and surveyed his handiwork with a critical eye. It was perfect he decided after a long moment. Granted, that was no guarantee it would actually _do_ anything, but he wanted to make sure any failures were due to reasons other than a mistake on the array.

He looked up at Mustang, who was perched on the desk in the storage room-turned-alchemy lab. Mustang wasn't looking at him, instead studying the array curiously. Edward stood up, wincing as his muscles protested the sudden movement after being crouched in one position for so long. He wiped his hands on his pants and set the chalk aside, stretching.

Mustang had been remarkably accommodating in the weeks following his agreement to help Ed get home. Anything he asked for he got without question, not that he really needed much. Winter had moved in suddenly with a full-blown blizzard in early November, effectively snowing them in. Mustang had converted the storage room that weekend so that Ed would have somewhere to work, a place to store his growing mountain of notes, and somewhere to actually test things when they were ready.

Maybe it was just because it was _Mustang_, but the easy compliance made him a bit suspicious. Ed wasn't exactly one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but the whole thing just seemed a little off to him, and it was something he needed to ask about before they started experimenting in earnest. "Hey Mustang?"

"Roy," he corrected immediately, looking up from his study of the array. "How many times am I going to have to tell you to call me Roy before you actually do?"

Ed made a face. "Roy," he said slowly, the name feeling foreign on his tongue. He was never going to get used to it. Ever. "Gah, that's weird."

"Don't care," Roy said mildly. "If you call me Mustang one more time, I'll strangle you. Consider it self-preservation."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Right. Anyway, I wanted to ask you something. What's the deal with all this?" he asked, gesturing vaguely to the room. "I mean, you've been awfully...accommodating about things, considering how crazy it should seem to you. Not that I'm not grateful, it's just odd that you've been so willing to help me from the start." Edward paused, then sighed and shrugged. "I guess I just wanna know why."

"Fair enough," Roy said, chewing his lip absently. He was silent for a long moment before he said, "It's strange, really. From the moment I saw you on the train, something just...clicked in my head. It never even really occurred to me that you might be lying, or that you might not be someone I should trust." He frowned, kicking the leg of the desk gently. "I'm not really sure how to explain it. I just know. I know that I can trust you, I know that you're someone worth helping. I knew it from the moment I met you. It must sound strange, but," he shook his head. "that's the way it is. Hell if I know why, but there you have it."

Edward flushed slightly, shifting his weight awkwardly. He hadn't really expected anything like that. Something more along the lines of, "I'm rich and eccentric, why not?" maybe. "Oh. Um, well I guess that would do it, wouldn't it?"

Roy smiled at him, dark eyes dancing with amusement at his discomfort. "Guess so." He blinked, expression changing abruptly. "You don't suppose it has something to do with that colonel of yours, do you?"

"He's not _my_ colonel," Ed snapped, then paused as the words sunk in. The colonel? He hadn't thought of that. "I dunno. I mean, I guess it could, but that doesn't really sound like something he would say about me," Ed smiled wryly, "He drove me _nuts, _and I don't think he trusted me as far as he could throw me, honestly."

"Well," Roy said, tapping his lips thoughtfully. "Considering how tiny you are, I imagine he could probably throw you pretty far if he put his mind to it."

"Who are you calling so short that he'd have to stand on his toes to look a speck of dust in the eye!" Ed roared, throwing the nearest thing at hand --which turned out to be the chalk stub-- at the other man.

Roy ducked easily under the projectile, grinning. "Did I say all that?" he asked innocently.

Ed glared at him, which seemed to only increase his amusement. "I take it back," he snarled, "You _are_ channeling that bastard. Bastard."

"I'm sorry," Roy said, the grin on his face proof that he wasn't sorry in the slightest. "Though, if you didn't make it so fun to tease you, it probably wouldn't happen as much."

"Shut up," Ed grumbled. Why did he have to be such a bastard about it? It wasn't _his_ fault he was so short. He glared at Roy, who winked back. Bastard, bastard, bastard! "Anyway," he snapped. "Are you--"

He was interrupted by a knock at the door. "Ed? You forgot didn't you?" came the muffled question from the other side.

Liam. Edward blinked and looked out the window, the darkening sky confirming that it was later than he realized. Hell. "Shit, I'm sorry Liam. I'll be down in a minute." This was met with a muted chuckle and footsteps leading away. Ed began sweeping up his scattered notes, careful not to touch the array. "I promised Liam I'd help him with dinner tonight," he explained at Roy's questioning look. "Everything's ready though, we can give it a shot later tonight."

"Mm." Roy hopped down from his perch, circling the array slowly, careful not to touch the edges. Edward had threatened grievous bodily harm should he do so, and it seemed Mustang wasn't about to tempt fate. He stopped next to Ed, looking down at the short blond. "Nervous?" he asked.

Ed just grinned and shook his head, bouncing on his toes slightly. He was excited, not nervous. "Hell no. I'm finally _doing_ something, even if it doesn't work the first time," he looked up at Roy. "What about you?"

"Terrified," Roy said, smiling slightly. "This may all be old hat to you, but my experience with all this hocus pocus is...limited. I'm worried it _is_ going to work."

Edward stared at him for a moment, surprised. Mustang had been so, well...relaxed about the whole thing, he hadn't realized the man had any concerns at all. "If you don't want to..." he said slowly.

There was a sharp clang as Roy kicked his automail leg with a snort. "Don't be stupid. I said I was nervous, I didn't say I was backing out on you. Besides," he said, tugging gently on Edward's braid, "What kind of man would say no to seeing magic in action?"

Ed growled and took his braid back. Why the man had such a fixation on pulling his hair, he'd never know. "It isn't_ magic_." he snapped.

"Alchemy is science, I know, I know," Roy said, taking hold of Ed's shoulders and steering the shorter man to the door. "Go help Liam. I'll finish picking up in here. And afterward...you can show me your science in action."

* * *

Edward pushed open the door to the kitchen to see Liam's back to him. The short cook was wrangling a pot that was nearly as big as he was, trying to get it on the stove without spilling the contents everywhere. "Sorry I'm late," he said sheepishly, slipping inside and closing the door behind him. 

Liam won the battle with the pot, getting it up on the stove with a minimum of sloshing. "Don't worry about it Ed," he said, turning and wiping his hands on his apron. "I know you and Roy tend to lose track of time when you're working up there on whatever it is you do." He raised an eyebrow suddenly. "Good lord Ed, you're a bloody _mess._" He reached over and started brushing chalk dust from the blond hair. "You'd better go wash up first."

Ed just grinned and complied, quickly washing away the evidence of his earlier work and returning to find two large onions and a knife waiting for him. He grimaced as he flopped down in the chair. Ed _hated _cutting onions. The smell stuck to his flesh hand for days. "Just the onions?" he asked, rolling up his sleeves and starting to peel off the outer layers.

"Those, and I have some potatoes, carrots and celery waiting on the back counter there if you don't mind," Liam said, gesturing with his own knife as he settled down and began attacking a large slab of red meat.

"No problem," Edward said, squinting as the onion fumes began to sting his eyes. He had taken to helping Liam as often as possible, since he was the only one in the house who happily accepted his offer of help and Edward had to do _something_ to repay what they were doing for him. Equivalent exchange and all that. Granted, playing kitchen helper wasn't exactly up to par with what Roy was doing for him, but there really wasn't anything else he could get away with. Even suggesting help to Evan seemed to be a grave insult to the man, and Emily always cheerfully turned down any offers of assistance.

Not that he minded spending time with Liam. Edward liked the man a great deal, and it had nothing to do with the fact that he was only a bare inch taller than Ed was. Really. Though he had to admit it was nice being in a room with someone and not feeling like a midget for once. That aside, Liam had a bright, friendly personality that was hard not to like. "What're we having, anyway?"

"Beef stew," Liam said, scooping up the meat chunks and dumping them into the pot. "I'll get the rolls started while the meat cooks." Edward finished with his onions and relinquished them to the other man, getting up and retrieving the potatoes from the counter.

They worked in companionable silence for a long time, the only sounds that of Ed's knife and the water boiling in the pot. Liam finished the rolls and set them in the oven to cook, then came over and sat down opposite Edward, taking half of the carrots he was cutting and starting on them himself. "You know, I really should thank you," he said.

Ed grinned at him. "Hey, it's no problem. I like to help when I can."

Liam smiled and shook his head, "Not that. Though I do appreciate it. I meant about Roy."

Roy? Edward frowned and looked up at the other man. "Huh?"

Sighing, Liam scratched his moustache. "Well," he said, setting aside the carrots and starting on the celery, "Roy hasn't been the same since Michael died. That's his brother, Kara's father," he clarified, seeing Ed's confusion. "Those two were as close as anyone could be. When he died, Roy was devastated. Honestly, I think the fact that he had Kara to look after was the only thing that kept him from withdrawing completely. And even then..." he shook his head sadly.

"How did they die?" Ed asked. He had been wondering about that since Roy had mentioned it when they first met, but he hadn't wanted to pry.

"Fire," Liam said. "Started in the middle of the night. Michael and Caroline burned to death, but Roy was looking after Kara that week. A lucky thing, that." Liam got up, collecting the vegetables and dumping them into the pot, giving it a stir. "The reason I brought it up though is that he's been better since you got here. Roy, I mean. I haven't seen him in such good spirits in a long time," he leaned against the counter, crossing his arms and giving Ed a long look. "He doesn't deserve to suffer, and I wanted to thank you for helping him."

Edward stared. He hadn't realized. Sometimes Roy got that sad, faraway look, but it wasn't often, and most of the time he seemed like the same cheerful bastard Ed had gotten used to. He shifted slightly. He certainly didn't think he'd had anything to do with it. "I uh...haven't really done anything."

Liam chuckled. "Sometimes just having a friend works wonders. Roy isolates himself too much, I think. Anyway," he waved his spoon around dramatically. "Enough of this serious talk. I've got things in hand here, go set up the dining room would you? After that, you're free till dinner."

* * *

Roy hid a smile behind his napkin, purposely avoiding looking at Ed. He leaned over, listening to Emily talk about her day, and felt another traitorous smile creeping onto his face. It was hard not to feel Edward's eyes on him, the short blond shredding a roll in frustration and glaring daggers. 

Edward was impatient to get started, that much was obvious. They had sat down to dinner, and Ed had inhaled his food at an incredible rate, finished before everyone was even served. He had spent the fifteen minutes since alternately fidgeting and scowling death. Not one to resist the opportunity to tease the volatile blond, Roy had taken his time, eating slowly and stopping often to chat with the others. Though, if he were honest, it wasn't just to tease, though it was certainly entertaining watching Edward's reaction. His stomach was turning circles, and Roy had to admit he was a little more nervous about things than he had let on earlier.

Watching as Ed plucked a third roll from the basket and began to mutilate it, Roy grinned and decided to was time to take pity on the boy. "Alright Edwa-" He was interrupted by a sudden crash to his left, and he looked over to see that Kara had knocked her water glass onto the floor. She was sitting perfectly still, staring at the spill in shock. After a quick check to make sure she hadn't cut herself, he looked over at Emily. "Would you go get the broom, please? Don't want anyone stepping on that."

Emily just nodded and was up and gone. Roy got up and walked around the side, surveying the damage. It looked like mostly large pieces. He grabbed his napkin and began sopping up the water while he waited for Emily to return with the broom. "I'm sorry!" He looked up, finding Kara staring at him with stricken eyes. "I didn't mean to!"

"It's all right," he assured her with a smile. "Accidents happen."

"Is my arm going to fall off?" She asked, looking quite terrified at the thought.

Roy blinked. Where on earth had she gotten a notion like that? "Of course not! Why would you think that?"

"Ed said that when you do something bad, your arm falls off," Kara told him in a quiet voice.

"Is that so?" Roy said, turning to look at Edward, who was doing his best to sink beneath the table. He froze when Roy looked at him, flushing at the questioning look and raised eyebrow he received. This ought to be interesting, Roy thought, keeping his expression carefully neutral. "Why would he say something like that, I wonder?"

"I didn't!" Ed protested weakly. "She just asked about my automail, and I told her I did something bad and my arm fell off." Roy raised both eyebrows at this, and Ed made a face. "I didn't say it would happen to_ her_!" He scowled and folded his arms over his chest defensively.

Unable to keep the smile off his face, Roy gave in with a laugh and a shake of his head. Edward was really something else. "You should watch what you say to Kara, she has quite the imagination. And you," he turned back to the little girl. "Don't have anything to worry about. I won't let your arm fall off."

Kara looked slightly mollified by this offer of protection. "Promise?"

"Promise," Roy assured her, planting a kiss on top of her head.

A moment later, Emily returned with the broom, and Roy stood up, stretching. He looked at Ed, who was still sulking, glaring at nothing in particular and smiled. "Well Ed. I believe you and I have something to finish."

Edward looked up at him, foul mood vanishing as though it had never been, though he made a valiant attempt to hold onto it. "'Bout time," he grumbled, getting to his feet.

Roy cocked his head curiously. "What was that? You'd rather wait until tomorrow? Well, if you-"

He was silenced by a sharp poke to the chest. "Don't push your luck, Mustang," Ed growled.

"Roy," he corrected. Edward muttered something that sounded suspiciously like a profanity before turning and stalking out the door. Roy just shook his head with a smile. Edward was certainly rough around the edges, but there was a charm about him that was hard not to like. He thanked Liam for dinner and followed after the alchemist.

Edward was already pacing impatiently when he got there. His head snapped up when Roy walked in, bouncing on his toes as the other man shut and locked the door. Golden eyes met his, and Roy felt his stomach flop around in a most unpleasant fashion. Maybe eating first hadn't been such a great idea. "Are you ready?" Edward asked.

While his first impulse was to say, "No, not really." Roy suspected that might not go over well. Instead he simply nodded and came to stand beside Ed. They had already been over this a thousand times before, but Roy suddenly felt the need to hear it again. "Tell me what to do."

Grabbing his sleeve, Edward pulled him around the array. Once he was where Ed wanted him, the boy got down on his knees, careful not to touch the chalk lines, and Roy followed suit, taken a deep breath that did little to settle his nerves. "Alright," Ed said, suddenly all business. "When I tell you to, I want you to lay your hands on the array here," he pointed, and Roy nodded to show he understood. "Then I want you to close your eyes and focus on the colonel as best you can. Leave the rest to me."

"Right." Roy went over what Edward had told him. Colonel Roy Mustang, officer of the Amestris military. Same height, same face, same eyes, short hair. Wore a blue uniform with white gloves with transmutation circles stitched onto the back. Something of a ladies' man, and smug bastard extraordinaire. The last bit was Ed's opinion more than anything, he suspected.

"Are you ready?" Ed asked.

Roy took another deep breath and said, "As I'll ever be." He offered Ed a wan smile, and received a thankful one in return.

Suddenly Ed shifted closer to him, pressing their shoulders together. "The physical contact might help," Edward offered, noticing his confusion. "Or it might not, but it couldn't hurt." He grinned. "On three. One, two, three!"

Roy leaned forward and placed his hands on the array, feeling Edward doing the same beside him. He closed his eyes and tried to push his nerves aside, summoning the image Ed had built for him of the colonel in his mind. Whispering thoughts kept poking into his mind, but Roy ignored them as best he could, focusing only on the man they were trying to contact. He felt a strange tug deep in his gut, but other than that, nothing happened. He frowned in concentration.

They remained that way for several minutes, before he heard Edward sigh and felt him pull away, sitting back. "You can stop," he said, sounding a little dejected. "If it was going to work it would have by now."

Roy opened his eyes and sat back. Edward was staring at the array miserably, and he felt a flood of guilt at being unable to get it to work. "I'm sorry," he offered.

Ed smiled at him sadly. "It's all right. I didn't really expect anything to happen, but I hoped..." he sighed and got to his feet. "Did anything happen at all?"

"Not really, no." Roy said. "at first I felt a...tug sort of, in my gut, but that was it."

Edward's head snapped up at that, gold eyes wide. "Right here?" he said, pointing at his own stomach. "A sort of tight pull?" At Roy's confused nod, he laughed. "You're sure?"

"I'm sure," Roy said, a little baffled at his reaction. Edward hadn't mentioned anything about it before. "Is that good?"

"Fuck yes!" Ed crowed, startling Roy by gathering him into a brief, fierce hug. It was over almost immediately, but Roy felt a little warmer for it, and smiled. "It means it worked!" Edward whooped, dashing over to the desk and dug a piece of chalk and a cloth from the drawer, practically dancing as he returned to the array, dropping to his knees and making changes.

Ed paused, sitting back on his heels and grinning up at Roy like a madman, eyes almost glowing. "That gut feeling happens when an alchemist activates a circle," he explained, "You get so used to it after a while that I didn't even think about it."

Roy grinned, pleased beyond words by the blond's sudden burst of happiness. "Well, I'm glad we managed something. But it still didn't work right?"

Edward snorted, leaning back over the array and working furiously. "Doesn't matter. That tug means that you can work alchemy. It means that for the first time since I got here, it _worked_. Which means that if we can just find the right way to do it, we can contact the colonel."

"You're sure?" Roy asked, crouching down and grinning like a fool. "I mean, even though nothing happened, you're sure we can get it to work?"

"Only a matter of time before I find out how, now that I know it works." Ed hopped up to his feet suddenly, setting the chalk aside. "There, that should do it I think. Ready for another go?"

All of his earlier nervousness replaced by Edward's infectious excitement, Roy nodded. "Let's do it."

The next few hours was spent testing different array variations. The reactions Roy had to them were varied, but each time, Edward seemed able to tweak and adjust it to get the effect he was looking for. It was hard work, considering he wasn't doing much of anything at all, and by the fifth round, he was exhausted.

Edward finished his most recent round of modifications and looked at Roy, eyes softening a bit when he saw how tired he was. "This'll be the last go, okay? I forgot how tiring alchemy can be when you first start, and you're the one doing all the work, I'm just guiding it."

Roy was reluctant to stop, but he _was_ dead tired. He probably wasn't going to have much success when he was about to fall asleep on his feet, so he nodded. "We can pick it up again in the morning," he promised.

So began the procedure that was becoming familiar to Roy. The sudden wash of energy, the strange pull in his gut. This time however, something was different. He felt a wave of dizziness and suddenly he was sitting in a room he didn't recognize, being spoken to by a woman he didn't know. She didn't seem to notice anything out of place.

"It's late sir, you really should go home."

"I'm almost finished here," he heard himself say, though he hadn't meant to speak. "Another half hour at the most. Go home Major. I'll close things up here when I'm done."

The woman sighed. "You really shouldn't-"

Roy gasped, a sudden surge of pain shocking him. His vision went strangely double for a moment, before the strange room and woman faded and he found himself looking up at Edward, who was leaning over him, concern written on his face. "Oh shit, oh fuck," he muttered, looking stricken. "I killed him. I fucking killed-" he cut off abruptly when he realized Roy was looking at him. "Are you okay?" he asked, taking his face in his hands and leaning down until they were nearly nose-to-nose.

Blinking a few times to focus his eyes, Roy swallowed and offered a weak smile. The pain was fading, and he stared, realizing that Ed was practically sitting on him, and that his face was very, very close. "I do believe I'm being taken advantage of," he teased, voice rougher than it should have been. God damn, but he felt like a building had fallen on him.

Edward stared for a moment, before turning a rather amusing shade of red and shifting off to the side. "I was just checking to see if you were okay, bastard." He seemed to forget his annoyance in favor of worry. "Are you okay?"

"I think so," Roy said, trying to move and regretting it when the pain swiftly returned, if not as intense as before. "Though I think I'll just lay here for a minute of you don't mind."

Ed shifted closer, leaning over him. "What happened?"

Roy closed his eyes, summoning the image of what he had seen. "It was strange. At first, it was just the same as before, and then suddenly I'm in a room I've never seen, and there was a woman talking to me. She had blonde hair and wore a blue uniform. She told me to go home, but when I answered, it wasn't me speaking..." he shook his head and opened his eyes. "It was strange."

"Hawkeye." Edward said, a slow grin growing on his face. "I'd bet my left arm that was Hawkeye!"

"Who?" Roy asked, feeling a little bewildered as he sat up, noting the pain seemed much less now.

"One of the Colonel's subordinates," Ed said quickly, "You did it! You made contact, if only for a second!"

Ed was right, he realized suddenly. What else could it have been? He flopped back down onto the floor, ignoring the sudden spike of pain and grinned. "Does that mean what I think it does?"

"Damn straight it does," Ed laughed suddenly, the sound like music. "It means I'm going home."

* * *

And there you have it! For those who care, I just had the Best. Day. Of. My. Life. on Saturday. My husband and I agree this trumps our wedding, hands down. ;) We went to see Play! A Video Game Symphony in Toronto this weekend. It was fantastic, and I highly suggest that if you have the chance to go that you do. The really awesome part however was the fact that I got to meet Nobuo Uematsu! For those of you who aren't gamer nerds like me, he's the composer of most of the music from the Final Fantasy series. I shook his hand! I got his autograph! I TOOK A PICTURE WITH HIM:geeks out: 

If anyone is curious, you can see the picture here(I apologize for the weird formatting, but it muches it otherwise for some reason. Just take out the spaces and slap the http in front of it.): i17. photobucket. com / albums / b76 / arathe / nusmall. jpg

Man, oh man. Highlight of my LIFE. :dies happy:


	4. Winter Wonder

A/N: Woohoo! Over 50 reviews so far! I love you guys. (Someone pointed out to me last chapter that I was using "blonde" to describe Ed, instead of "blond", which was incorrect. Thanks for catching that, it should be fixed now, and hopefully I don't slip up again, hehe.)

This was a very difficult chapter for me to write, which surprised me, since I've been looking forward to the last scene almost since I started. I'm still a little...dubious about the outcome, but I'll leave it up to you to decide. This one clocked in at 5001 words. Getting steadily longer. ;)

Happy Thanksgiving to my Canadian readers, and enjoy!

:Chapter 4:

:Winter Wonder:

Edward pulled his coat tighter around himself, glowering at nothing in particular. He took back anything nice he had ever said about winter. Ed was cold, wet and miserable. Worse, he had been trudging through this mess for two hours, and hadn't found a single gift. He stopped as a storefront caught his eye and peered through the window for a moment before sighing and moving on. He hated Christmas. What kind of moronic holiday would force a man to buy presents for everyone he knows on the same day? Finding something suitable for one person on their birthday was bad enough, but this was just plain stupid. Edward swore loudly as a large lump of snow slipped inside his shoe. His outburst earned him a few curious and offended stares, but honestly, right then, Ed just did not give a fuck. Stupid Christmas.

It didn't help that his experiments with Roy were being constantly thwarted one way or another. First, the man had taken with the flu for nearly two weeks. Then there was some sort of business emergency that forced him to leave town for several days. When they did actually get a chance to work, Roy tired so quickly that they only had a handful of tries before he was too exhausted to do more. It was frustrating, but they _were_ making progress, even if it was painfully slow. Every time they made contact, they were able to hold it longer than the time before, and Ed was able to channel off most of the feedback that had knocked Roy flat the first time.

They couldn't actually speak with the colonel or communicate with him in any way, and Edward was trying to find a way past that. He knew if they could just get the colonel to activate the proper array from his end, Ed could probably ride the connection between the two home. Probably. There was always the chance that it wouldn't work at all, or that they'd lose it halfway and Edward would be trapped in the Gate between. He shuddered at the thought. Not an appealing fate, that.

Then, to top it all off, he had to deal with this stupid holiday crap.

He only had a week left, and Ed still didn't have a single thing to show for it. Kara should have been easy, right? She was only a kid after all. Kids were easy to please. Problem was, he couldn't find anything the girl didn't already have. Spoiled didn't even begin to describe it. He had a sneaking suspicion Roy would buy her the moon if she asked for it.

Emily was a mystery. In spite of the fact that the plump woman had taken to mothering him almost as much as she did Kara, he hadn't the faintest idea what she would like. Liam was a bit easier. Ed had learned that the short cook had quite the sweet tooth, it was just a matter of finding a store that sold what he was looking for. He suddenly wished he had spent less time cooped up in the house and more time learning his way around the city.

Evan was a lost cause. They barely spoke to each other, and Ed had no idea what the old man's interests were. That left Roy. Ed blew out a frustrated sigh. That was the one that was troubling him the most. The least he could do after all the man had done for him was get him a good present. What the hell did you get for a man who could buy whatever he wanted?

He paused, a toy store catching his eye. Probably wouldn't be much there that he hadn't already seen, but at least it would get him out of the cursed cold for a few minutes. He pushed open the door, the bells at the top jingling merrily as he did so. Kicking the snow from his shoes, he closed the door behind him just as a thin man with spectacles perched on his nose materialized from the back. "Good afternoon sir!" he chirped, "Is there anything I can help you with today?"

Ed told the man he was just taking a look around. He poked around halfheartedly for a few minutes, but nothing jumped out at him. He was pretty sure that he had seen Kara carting around every item in the store at some point. Maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration, but not much of one. He briefly entertained the merits of kicking Roy in the shins for making shopping for the girl so hard.

With a sigh, he decided there was nothing there he hadn't already seen at least once that morning. Edward thanked the man for his time and opened the door and stepped back out into the cold.

"Edward!"

He started, looking up at the sound of his name. Roy's black car was parked in front of the toy store, Evan leaning out the driver side window, waving to get his attention. He walked over to the car, surprised. What was Evan doing here? "What's up?" he asked, leaning against the side of the car and poking his head in the window.

The old man looked relieved. "I thought I'd never find you," he said. "When Liam told me where you'd gotten to, I couldn't leave you to trudge through this mess. Get in, I'll take you where you need to go. I've some errands to run myself anyway."

Rather taken aback by the sudden generosity, Ed nodded and went around to the passenger side and got in, relieved to be out of the elements. "Thanks," he said, and he meant it.

Evan simply nodded. "How much do you have left to do?" he asked, pulling out into traffic.

Ed grimaced. "Everything. I'll figure something out though. Mostly, I'm worried about Roy. I mean, what do you get for a man who can buy whatever he wants?"

"It's true that finding something that he wants that he doesn't already have would be a challenge. However," Evan looked over at Edward for a moment before turning his eyes back to the road. "Roy is rather sentimental, though you'll never hear him admit to it. He's also very fond of you. What you get doesn't matter so much, as long as there's a personal touch to it. He'll appreciate that more than anything."

Edward considered this. A personal touch, hm? They rode in silence for a while, Ed mulling over the possibilities. After a while, the car rumbled to a stop and he looked up. "There was something I wanted to talk to you about Edward," Evan said.

He stared at the other man warily. This was the most Evan had ever spoken to him since they met. "Sure, what's up?"

"I...wanted to apologize to you," it was clearly hard for the man to say, and Edward tried not to gape like a moron. He nodded for Evan to continue, wondering what on earth had brought that up. "I treated you unfairly when you first came to stay with us, and I wanted to apologize for my behavior." He sighed, scratching his chin. "I thought Roy was being impulsive inviting a stranger into his home, particularly with Kara to worry about. I did not think you were trustworthy, and I was rather cold to you as a result. I just wanted to ask you to forgive this stubborn old man. You've truly become a part of our family these past few months."

A part of our family. Edward was completely floored. He had no idea they thought of him like that. The words left him feeling warm and embarrassed, and he flushed slightly. "I...don't worry about it. No hard feelings."

Evan gifted him with a faint smile and a nod, content to leave it at that.

* * *

Ed yawned, dragging his brush through still-damp hair as he wandered downstairs and made his way to the dining room. Roy was already there, chronic early riser that he was, and Ed nodded in sleepy greeting. Flopping down bonelessly across from the other man, Ed started trying to wrangle his damp hair into a braid, shooting a grateful look at Roy as the dark haired man pushed his coffee cup over to Ed with a smile. "Your noble sacrifice will not be forgotten," Edward said solemnly, abandoning his hair in favor of taking a long drink. 

That earned him a chuckle as Edward drained the cup and set it back on the table with a contented sigh. Picking up his brush he gave it a quick run through his hair to re-tame it, and began to braid it again. After a moment the awkward reach started to cramp his arm, and he dropped his hair with an irritated grumble, the braid unraveling. It was getting too long to braid himself anymore, unless he wanted to pull it over his shoulder, but that always left it looking crooked. "Stupid hair. I should just chop it all off," he muttered.

"Don't you dare," Roy said severely, picking up the brush from where Ed had abandoned it. He turned sideways in his chair and pointed with the brush. "Sit."

It took Ed's tired mind a few moments to realize what the man was talking about. "I can do it myself you know," he said. Roy just gave him a look that brooked no argument and Edward complied with a sigh. No point fighting with the man about something when he got like that. Especially this early.

Ed felt Roy run the brush through his hair, and it was an odd feeling. He hadn't had anyone brush his hair in ages, and he'd actually forgotten how nice it felt. Relaxing slightly under the soothing motion of the brush, he decided that maybe he didn't mind Roy being so pushy about it. Much. After a moment the brushing stopped and he heard the faint thunk of it being set on the table. Nimble fingers separated his hair into sections and began to braid, barely brushing the back of his neck as they worked. Ed shivered at the unexpected touch, a pleasant tingle racing down his spine. "Tie."

"Huh?"

"Hair tie," Roy repeated, and he could hear the amusement in the other man's voice.

"Oh," Edward felt suddenly stupid, and passed his hair tie back to Mustang.

"There," Roy said, giving his braid a gentle tug and then letting go. "All done." He leaned forward suddenly, poking his head over Ed's shoulder. "I think you were dozing off on me," he said with a grin.

Edward snorted, slipping away and standing up. "Was not," he said, making a face, feeling slightly embarrassed and not sure why. "What's the deal with you and my hair anyway?" he asked, changing the subject.

"I like it," Roy said with a smile and a shrug. "It'd be a shame to cut it. Besides," he added, "It's just so handy when I need to get your attention."

"You know, something like 'Hey, Ed!' would work. You don't need to yank my hair out," Ed pointed out irritably.

"I don't _yank_, and it wouldn't be as much fun," Roy said with a wink. Bastard. The man was a first class bastard, and Edward told him so. Roy nodded amiably. "So you've told me," he said. His expression changed abruptly. "Oh! I forgot. Liam wanted me to send you to the kitchen when you woke up."

Ed frowned. What was Liam doing there? Emily was already gone with her children for the holidays, and Liam should have been as well. "It's Christmas Eve, shouldn't he be with his daughter?"

"He got kicked out," Roy told him with a chuckle. "Apparently the ladies didn't want the men getting underfoot while they were working. So he came back here for a bit. You'd better go see what he wants before he gets cranky."

Deciding this was good advice, Ed nodded and made for the kitchen, pausing on his way out. "Um. Thanks. For braiding my hair, I mean," he said awkwardly, feeling his face heat up. He ducked out before Roy could reply. What the hell was with him today, anyway? Sighing, Edward pushed open the door to the kitchen, surprised when he was met with a pleasant smell and the sight of Liam in full swing. "You wanted to see me?"

"Ah!" Liam said brightly, half-turning and waving him in. "Ed! Just the man I wanted to see."

Edward slipped inside, closing the door behind him. "What're you up to?" he asked, taking in the sight that met him with surprise. It looked like a tornado had struck, pots and pans and food of all kinds scattered everywhere.

"Well," Liam said, wiping his hands on his apron. "I decided I couldn't leave you all to your own devices on Christmas Eve. Knowing you and Roy, you'd probably just throw together a sandwich for Christmas dinner." Liam gave him a disapproving look, and Ed decided not to tell him that he wasn't far off the mark. "So, I thought I'd get things started, and make sure you know what to do so you can finish things up tonight."

"Me?" Ed said doubtfully, looking around the kitchen. There was enough food to feed an army. He'd picked up a thing or two from helping Liam, but he seriously doubted he had the skills to make a feast on the scale the man seemed to be suggesting, and said as much.

"Oh nonsense," Liam said, waving a hand dismissively. "You have Evan to help, and I'll leave you instructions. You'll be fine," he thrust a wooden spoon at the blond and Edward took it with a sigh. "Give that a stir would you?" Liam said, pointing to something on the stove as he picked up a knife and a bowl of apples.

Edward complied, giving up the battle as lost. Liam could certainly be a pushy bastard sometimes. Ed peered at what he was supposed to be stirring, unsure what he was looking at. It smelled fantastic, whatever it was. "You're mad, you know," he told Liam, turning around suddenly and pointing the spoon at the other man. "I'll never be able to get all of this done on time."

"Of course you will," Liam said, quickly slicing the apples and setting them aside. "We'll get all of the prep work done for you now, so you don't have to worry about it later. Once we're done with the pies, I'll write down the instructions you need. Have you ever cooked a whole duck before?"

Edward stopped listening at the mention of pie, peering down into the pot and giving the brown goop an experimental stir. "What is this stuff, anyway?"

"Filling for my chocolate pie. It's my own recipe," Liam told him proudly.

Oh really? Ed pulled the spoon from the thick mass and took a taste. He forgot to give it a moment to cool and it burned his tongue, but he grinned. "This tastes fantastic!"

"It's even better once you let it set," Liam said with a smile.

They both looked up at the sound of footsteps and the door creaked open, a familiar dark head poking in cautiously. "Are you sure there isn't anything I could help with?" Roy asked.

"Out, you bloody jinx!" Liam roared, half-standing and waving his knife in a menacing fashion. "Out!"

Edward lobbed his spoon at the unfortunate man and Roy quickly ducked back out, the spoon clattering harmlessly against the door, leaving a chocolate splatter. "I'm beginning to think temper is directly related to height," he grumbled from behind the safety of the door.

"You wanna get in here and say that to my face, you bastard?" Ed snapped.

"Not particularly, no," Roy said quickly, and Edward and Liam shared a grin as they heard Roy beating a hasty retreat.

Liam cleared his throat and tried to wipe the smile from his face with little success. "Right. So, about that duck."

* * *

"Are you sure?" Edward asked anxiously, trailing behind Roy. "I mean, I think I might have left it in too long, and Liam said the meat would dry out if-" 

"Ed," Roy interrupted, turning so suddenly that Ed nearly collided with him. He had the strangest look on his face, and Edward realized he was trying not to laugh. "Dinner was fantastic. Everything was perfect. Stop agonizing over it." The last was said with pointed tug on his braid.

Ed scowled. It had been a disaster. He and Evan had been running every which way, trying to follow Liam's instructions and get everything finished on time. Which they had. Barely. Ed felt like he had just finished running a marathon, and was it his fault he wanted to make sure everything had turned out okay?

Something of his thoughts must have shown on his face, because Roy did laugh then. He slipped an arm around the short blond's shoulders and steered him towards the family room where Evan and Kara were already waiting. "I appreciate it, Ed. And dinner really _was_ good. You performed admirably considering Liam just dumped the whole thing on you with no warning. Besides," he added, "It beats sandwiches any day."

Slightly mollified, Ed felt compelled to stick his tongue out at the older man regardless. Roy just laughed and let his arm drop as they were met with a bellow of, "Uncle Roooooy! Eeeeeed! Hurry!"

"Oh dear," Roy said with an amused grin. "I think we've kept the little princess waiting too long."

Ed rolled his eyes. "Heaven forbid," he said as entered the family room. He was met by a wordless squeal of delight as Kara launched herself at him. He caught her easily and swung her up onto his shoulders. She latched onto his hair tightly, and Ed winced.

"Don't pull, sweetheart," Roy said, reaching over and removing small hands from their death grip on his scalp. Ed shot him a thankful look. He didn't particularly mind that Kara seemed to think of him as a personal mode of transportation, but when she got excited, she tended to try and rip his hair out by the roots.

"Sorry Ed," she said, wrapping her arms around his face and hugging his head. Peeling her hands away from his face, he spun around quickly and dumped her on the chair near the fire. She giggled helplessly, and he grinned. Roy spoiled her terribly, but she was a good kid.

Evan straightened from where he was feeding the fire and took a seat on one of the chairs near the tree. Edward had been surprised to learn the stately old man was staying with them for the holiday, until he learned that Evan had no family left to visit. He felt bad for the man, but Evan seemed to be in unusually good spirits, even with the crazy kitchen mess they'd had to deal with.

Edward flopped onto the couch and Roy settled down beside him with a little more dignity. He blinked slowly, feeling suddenly sleepy. Ed was warm and full, and the hectic day seemed to catch up with him all at once. He yawned and earned an amused look from Roy. "Oh no you don't. No falling asleep before presents."

"Can we open them?" Kara asked excitedly before Ed could reply, and Roy pretended to think deeply on it. Kara wriggled impatiently, and Ed grinned inwardly.

"I suppose," Roy said at length, getting to his feet and kneeling beside the tree, pulling out a gift and handing it to the little girl, watching as she tore the paper to shreds. By unspoken agreement, they allowed Kara to open her gifts first, a mound of toys and clothing growing beside her.

Roy passed her Edward's gift last, and he watched a bit anxiously as she opened it. He'd had no idea what to get the little girl, but he had caught sight of the stuffed dog in passing, and something told him to get it. It came from a small shop that made everything they sold by hand, but the small stuffed toy was remarkably well crafted and incredibly soft.

Large green eyes widened as she pulled the dog from its box, stroking the soft fur with a delighted little sound. She got up and threw her arms around Ed's neck. "Thank you!"

Relieved, Edward gave her a quick squeeze. "No problem kiddo. You like it?"

Kara nodded vigorously, stroking the stuffed dog again. "He's so soft." She wandered back over to her pile of gifts and sat down, happily sorting through her new treasures.

Roy pulled out the next present, not bothering to look at the tag as he tossed the small package to Edward with a small grin. "That's from me to you," he said.

Edward quickly unwrapped the gift to reveal a small box. Curious, he pulled off the lid, something small and silver nestled inside. For a brief, startled moment Ed thought it was a ring, but when he pulled it out, he realized it was too thick for that, and the shape was a bit odd. Turning it over in his hands, he marvelled at the fine, delicate gold inlay tracing a complicated pattern through the silver. When he looked on the inside, he discovered tiny, artfully hidden hinges and some sort of strange mechanism, both nearly invisible on the outside. Whatever it was, it was clearly a remarkable work of craftsmanship. Problem was, he had no idea what it was. "Um," he said intelligently.

Roy seemed vastly amused by his confusion. "It's a hair clip," he supplied. "I have a friend who's a remarkable jeweler, and he came up with that clever design when I told him what I was looking for. Here," he walked over to where Ed was sitting as held out a hand. Still a little baffled, Edward passed the clip over.

"See here," Roy said, leaning over and showing Edward a small catch he hadn't noticed. "You press this to open it." He did so, and the metal band slid open on the tiny hinges. Now that it was open, he could see small metal spikes on the inside running in different directions. "To use it, just clip it around the end of your braid, and this part here," he pointed, "fits inside the other and clicks shut. The spikes are to keep it from slipping." Roy passed it back.

Now that he understood what he was looking at, he shook his head slowly, tracing a finger over the gold inlay. It was very, very nice, not at all gaudy or flashy. Ed had a sneaking suspicion that having something like it made had probably cost a small fortune. Pulling his braid over his shoulder, he pulled the tie off and carefully replaced it with the silver clip. It fit snugly, and Ed gave it an experimental tug to see if he had to worry about it slipping. It didn't move a bit, he noted in approval. Once clipped and closed, it looked for all the world like a smooth band of metal. Letting his braid fall back into place, Ed was surprised and pleased to note that he could barely feel the weight of it at all.

He looked up at Roy, who was watching him with a faint smile. "Its amazing," he said honestly. Roy had obviously put a lot of care into choosing the gift, and the thought made him smile. "I'm not even going to ask how much it cost, because if I did I don't think I'd feel right keeping it."

Roy snorted. "I wouldn't tell you even if you asked."

Edward grinned suddenly, remembering their morning conversation. "And here I was grumbling about cutting my hair off this morning. No wonder you were giving me such a dirty look!"

"I would have throttled you," Roy agreed calmly, "So it's probably best that you didn't."

"Thank you," Edward said and was rewarded with a bright smile as Roy returned to present duty.

He pulled another gift out from the dwindling pile and glanced at the tag. "Ah, this one's for me," he said. It was too small to be Edward's gift, so it much have been Evan's. The old man shot him a significant look and a half smile over Roy's head as the man unwrapped the gift, and Edward blinked. He watched as the gift was revealed to be a very nice fountain pen, and Ed had to stifle a laugh. There was no way that wasn't intentional, considering Edward's own gift to the man.

Roy thanked the old man, and pulled out another gift, this one for Evan. It turned out to be a set of artists pencils, Ed noted in surprise. He'd had no idea the man could draw. It was a rather strange thought, imagining Evan doing something artistic.

That left only two gifts beneath the tree, as gifts with Liam and Emily had been exchanged before they left. Roy pulled one out, frowned at it, and looked back and forth between Edward and Evan. "This one's mine. Did you two already exchange gifts?"

Ed met Evan's eyes for a moment, then shifted awkwardly. "Uh, we decided not to get each other anything, since neither of us could come up with any ideas," he explained.

Roy rolled his eyes at this. "Figures," he said, but left it at that, and began unwrapping Edward's gift to him.

Edward found himself holding his breath as he waited, and it let it out in a gust, feeling faintly annoyed with himself. He watched Roy's face carefully as the man pulled out the simple, leather bound journal. As he turned it over in his hands, Ed suddenly felt the need to explain. "I made it myself," he said, and felt himself flush when Roy looked up in surprise. "Evan helped me. I uh, bound all the pages together and made the cover. I figured since there was nothing I could buy you that you wouldn't already have, that it might mean more if I made it myself," Edward suddenly realized he was babbling, and shut his mouth with an audible click.

Roy chuckled, opening the journal to the first page. Ed had scrawled a note there, a thank you for all of his help, and Roy smiled as he read it. Ed shifted uncomfortably when he didn't say anything. "I know it isn't much."

"It's wonderful," Roy said sincerely, closing the journal and tapping Edward on the knee with it. "In fact, I think I know exactly what I'm going to use it for. Thank you."

Ed flushed and mumbled something incoherent. This sort of thing always left him feeling so awkward, and he hated it. Roy reached beneath the tree and retrieved the last present. Ed blinked in surprise when the other man handed it to him. "This isn't technically for you, but you should be the one to open it." Edward gave him a puzzled look, but Roy did not explain further, he merely nodded at the package.

Curious, Ed pulled away the wrapping to reveal a box similar to the one his hair clip had been in, but slightly larger. He opened the box to find an ornate silver pocket watch, and he gently lifted it from the bed of tissue it was cradled in. It was clear the watch had been made by the same craftsman who made the clip Roy had given him. The delicate gold inlay was nearly identical to the pattern on the clip, almost as if it was meant to match. "Who's it for?" Ed asked.

"Open it."

He did so, breath catching in his throat at what he saw. On the inside of the watch, in the same gold inlay that graced the front, was the name Alphonse Elric in elegant script. Stunned, Edward traced the letters with his finger, murmuring his brother's name as he did so. He talked about Al to Roy, sometimes, but he never expected the man to do something like this. Edward felt a little dizzy as he carefully snapped the watch closed, raising his eyes to meet serious dark ones. "I..." he coughed, suddenly unable to speak around the tightness in his throat. Ed swallowed and tried again. "I can't believe...this is..." he trailed off, unable to find the words.

Roy smiled at him, not his usual amused smirk, but a genuine, affectionate smile, and Edward suddenly wanted to hug the man. The watch may have been for Al, but the real gift was for him. It was a promise. A promise that he would one day be able to deliver it to his brother. Ed was touched beyond words at the gesture, and he looked helplessly at the other man. "I don't even know what to say," he said quietly, voice cracking a bit on the last word.

"I believe 'thank you' will suffice," Roy said, and Edward laughed a little unsteadily.

Suddenly realizing that Evan and Kara were gone, Edward wondered when they left. He silently thanked the old man for giving them privacy. He wasn't exactly prone to emotional outbursts, and the less witnesses, the better. Roy was still sitting on the floor at his feet, watching the blond with a faint smile on his lips. He fiddled with the watch for a moment, considering. Oh hell, why not? Feeling a little like laughing and a lot like crying, Ed carefully set the watch aside and slid off the couch and on to the floor, throwing his arms around Roy before the other man realized what he was doing.

Roy murmured something Ed didn't catch, returning the embrace. "Thank you," Edward whispered, resting his head on Roy's shoulder and wishing there was a better way to express how grateful he was. For everything. "Thank you."


	5. Homecoming

A/N: Well, here we are. The chapter in which things actually happen! This is a long beastie, almost 6,000 words, and I wrote almost the entire thing in one sitting! Yeesh. I apologize for any mistakes, as my brain keeps trying to melt every time I go over this chapter for editing, so I may have missed a few things. This chapter is rather angsty, and a little depressing. I'm sorry. Stupid Alter!Roy, taking over my story...it was supposed to be HAPPY you jerk! Ah well. It's better this way. Really. o.o (A quick note on ranks...five years have passed, and people got promoted. I did it on purpose. ;))

This is now officially the longest fanfiction I've ever done, and it's still less than half done! Woot!

A thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. Let's see if we can't get over 100 reviews this time, hm? Enjoy!

:Chapter 5:

:Homecoming:

He felt sick. Sort of. One moment his breakfast seemed about to make a return appearance, the next he felt like laughing like an idiot and bouncing off the walls. Roy sighed inwardly. He wished he could decide on one or the other, all this emotional flip-flopping was giving him a headache. He smiled wryly. Maybe heartache was closer to the mark.

The situation really was deceptively normal, Roy realized. There he was, on his usual perch on the desk, watching Edward carefully trace an alchemy array on the floor just like he had a hundred times before. It wasn't like the other times, though. This wasn't a test, or an experiment. This was it. This was the time they were going to try and send Edward home.

They had discovered that while they couldn't communicate with the colonel directly, they could transmit images and impressions. According to Edward, that was all they needed. He had drilled Roy into memorizing the array he would need to show the colonel until he could draw it perfectly with his eyes closed. While he was a bit doubtful that the man on the other side would realize that he had to activate the array he would be shown, Ed seemed confident that the colonel would understand what to do. Roy supposed they would find out soon enough.

Part of him, the part that wasn't a selfish bastard, was truly happy for Ed. He was getting exactly what he wanted, after all. If things went well, Edward would be home before he went to sleep tonight. He belonged there, with his brother on his own world. Roy knew that, but he had a hard time remembering it, because in all honesty he wasn't near as selfless as he would like to be.

Roy didn't _want_ Ed to go. More than he had ever wanted anything in his life, he wanted the alchemist to stay with him. Had almost asked him to more than once, but he always stopped himself. It was too much to ask, to make him choose between Roy and the home he had been trying to return to for so long. Too much to ask, and he was afraid of the answer.

Edward sneezed suddenly, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand and muttering a curse. Blowing an errant strand of hair from his face, the blond leaned over and went back to work. Roy smiled. Never in his life had he ever met someone so dedicated and focused as Ed could be when working. Then again, he had never met anyone quite like Edward Elric at all. He was passionate and vibrant in a way that made everyone else seem grayer in comparison. Roy sighed, letting his eyes roam over the figure hunched on the floor. The wisps of hair that had escaped his braid, the frown of concentration on his face, the way he would pause, lips moving silently as he worked something out in his head. Roy commit every detail to memory, his eyes, his face, the chalk smudge on his chin, and wished for the thousandth time that day that he wouldn't go.

It was a futile, stupid, selfish wish. Edward would go, _should_ go. Roy just wished that thought didn't hurt so much. He wished the tight knot of misery in his gut would go away, that he could share in Ed's joy and mean it, and stop screaming in the back of his mind that he didn't want him to leave.

"What's wrong?"

Roy blinked, Edward's voice startling from his mire of self-pity. "What?"

"You keep sighing over there," Ed said, looking up. Roy felt a pleasant tingle as gold eyes met his. "And you look like you just lost your best friend. So what's wrong?"

"Maybe I am losing my best friend," Roy said without thinking. Edward stared at him, surprise painted on his features and Roy mentally kicked himself. Too late to take it back now, so he gave the blond a half-smile and shrugged. "I was just thinking about how much I'd miss you, that's all."

Edward's eyes were unreadable as he digested that, twirling a piece of chalk absently in his fingers. Then he sighed, running a hand through his hair, freeing even more of it in the process. "I'm going to miss you too," he said, ducking his head in embarrassment and going back to work on his array.

Roy smiled, warmed by the admission. It was strange, how things had changed in the past five months since he met Edward. At first, it was just curiosity that drove him. A strange young man with an even stranger tale, but for some reason, something about it had rung true to Roy. Before he even realized he'd done it, he offered Ed a place to stay, and next thing he knew he was cooped up in this room with him for hours on end, experimenting. That first painful contact had dispelled any lingering doubts he'd had, and they'd been working like men possessed since. He never meant for things to come to this, though.

He never meant to fall in love.

Roy had tried to pretend that he wasn't in love with Edward. Tried to pretend that the young man was just a good friend, and that was all. He had never been very good at lying to himself. In fact, unless he missed his guess, it was blindingly obvious to anyone who spent more than a moment with the two of them. Evan knew at the very least, he was sure of that. It was clear as day that the old man didn't approve, but he held his tongue. Maybe it was because Ed had grown on Evan as much as he had on the rest of them, though he did a remarkable job hiding the fact that he was rather fond of the alchemist.

It was hard not to act on his feelings, and he wasn't always entirely successful in keeping it to himself. Ed seemed happily oblivious however, and it was probably for the best.

"Done," Edward said, sitting back and looking over the array with a critical eye. After a moment he nodded to himself and looked up at Roy. "Are you ready?"

Ignoring the way his gut clenched at those words, Roy slowly slid off the desk and came to stand beside Ed. "Have you said your goodbyes?"

Edward flinched, looking up guiltily. "No," he admitted. "It's just, we don't even know this is going to work, right?"

Roy understood his reluctance, even if he didn't agree with it. "And what if it does? You'll vanish without a word and leave me to explain why?" Roy shook his head. "They're your friends Edward, they deserve better than that."

Ed just sighed and tucked some stray hair behind his ear. Nearly half of it was hanging out of the braid now, and Roy turned him around and removed the clip, running his fingers through the gold strands to tame them a bit before he re-braided it. Edward leaned into the touch a little, and Roy couldn't help but wonder what might have been if things were different, if they were given more time. He finished braiding the hair and replaced the clip, resting his hands on the shorter man's shoulders. "If you didn't need my help to do this, would you have left without saying goodbye to me too?" he asked softly.

"No!" Edward said fiercely, turning to face him and shaking his head. "No. You're...different." He flushed and looked down at his feet. "Goodbyes are bad enough, it's just...what do I tell them when they ask me where? How do I tell them I can't come back?"

"Say whatever you feel is right," Roy said, giving the short blond a gentle push towards the door. "Take as long as you need. I'll be waiting when you're ready."

Edward hesitated, looking back at the other man. Roy just nodded for him to go and Ed sighed, pulling open the door and vanishing through it. He watched the blond go, heart heavy. Leaving was going to be harder on the alchemist than he had realized, and he couldn't decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

Returning to his perch on the desk, Roy picked up the journal he had left there, running his fingers over the leather cover. The large book was nearly filled with his thoughts and feelings, his accounting of his life since he had met Edward on that train. Turning to a blank page, he pulled out his pen and began to write the last entry the book would see.

* * *

The whole situation was so unbelievably unfair that it made Ed want to scream. He kicked angrily at nothing, stomping down the stairs in a burst of childishness that made him feel a little better. Ed needed to go, he _wanted_ to go. Al was waiting for him, he could feel it in his bones and he didn't want to keep his little brother waiting. Only, sometimes he would catch Roy looking at him with heartbroken eyes and his resolve wavered.

Edward wasn't exactly sure what Roy was to him. More than a friend, but beyond that he was afraid to think about it too much. Afraid of what he would discover if he let himself. Edward Elric was standing on the edge of a precipice, and only his stubborn refusal to acknowledge it kept him from falling.

It wasn't fair that for five years he had never gotten close to anyone, and as soon as he started to care, it was being taken from him. Edward stopped short, realization dawning. A short, bitter laugh escaped him, and he shook his head. Of course. Equivalent exchange. To gain old friends he had to lose the new. To gain Alphonse, he had to lose Roy. It really wasn't a choice, but he wished it hurt a little less.

With a heavy heart, he made his way down to the kitchen. Liam was usually there for most of the day, and that was the most likely place for him to find the short cook. Ed pushed open the door just as Liam wobbled out from the pantry, a load of food in his arms piled higher than his head. He quickly relieved the man of half of his burden, returning the grateful smile he received. Dumping the load of vegetables down on the table, he looked over at Liam as the other man did the same. "Lucky I came in when I did, that was an accident waiting to happen."

Liam bobbed his head amiably, not bothering to deny it. "What brings you down this time of day, Ed? You usually aren't wandering around this early."

"I...wanted to tell you something."

Liam raised bushy eyebrows at the seriousness in his young friend's voice. Sweeping the vegetables to one side, he motioned for Ed to sit and took a chair himself. "Of course. What's on your mind?"

Edward took a deep breath. "I'm, uh...well, I'm going home," he said in a rush.

Liam nodded slowly. "I take it you mean not just a visit?"

Edward laughed a little, feeling slightly ill. "Where I come from...travel between there and here isn't easy. I probably won't be coming back. I'm not sure when I'm leaving, but it...could be as soon as today."

"I see." Liam sighed heavily, reaching out to take his flesh hand. "I don't suppose there's any way to talk you out of this? Things won't be the same with you gone, you know." Something seemed to occur to him. "This is why Roy had been in such a bad way the past few days, isn't it?"

Trying unsuccessfully to ignore the flood of guilt, Edward nodded. "Probably," he said, feeling absolutely wretched. "I don't want to hurt anyone, but...I need to go. I've been trying to get home for nearly five years and now I have the chance. My brother is waiting for me."

"This has to do with what you and Roy keep working on up in that room of yours, doesn't it?" Edward tensed at that, and Liam patted his hand in a fatherly manner. "Don't panic Ed. I don't pretend to understand it, but I always knew there was something a bit different about you. I won't pry; I can see you're uncomfortable talking about it."

Edward sighed and relaxed. "I'm sorry Liam, I just...it's a long story."

"It's alright Edward," Liam assured him with a smile, getting up and coming around the table and gathering the alchemist into a hug. Ed returned it, wishing fervently he could squash the sadness that kept threatening to choke him. "I'll miss you," he pulled back and winked. "I'll miss not being the shortest man in the house anymore, too."

"Watch it," Ed warned, punching the other man gently. Liam chuckled and returned to his seat. "Do you know where Emily and Evan are? I still need to tell them."

Liam stroked his moustache absently, considering. "Evan should be in his room, keeping off that ankle after he tried to break it yesterday. Emily took Kara out back to play for a while, they should still be outside."

Edward nodded and got up, backing slowly towards the door. "Goodbye, Liam."

"Goodbye, Edward."

He turned and left, heart in his shoes. He knew that Roy was right, and that these people deserved the courtesy of a farewell, but it didn't stop Ed from wanting to punch the man for making him do it. As if having to face Roy and leave wasn't hard enough. Making his way out into the snow-covered garden, he heard a shriek of laughter and followed it around the side of the house.

Emily and Kara were in the midst of a snowball fight, the older woman losing miserably. Neither of them noticed him, and Ed couldn't help but smile as he watched. Leaving Kara would be almost as difficult as leaving Roy, in some ways. Ed was terribly fond of her, and he knew she wouldn't understand why he had to go.

Kara was the first to notice him. "Ed!" She called, launching a snowball at him. Edward pretended to try and dodge a moment too late, taking the projectile with a dramatic cry and falling to the ground. The snow slipped inside his collar as he lay there, and Ed suddenly wished he'd thought to bring a coat with him. Kara was on him in a moment, and Edward closed his eyes and lay still, playing dead.

"Ed?" She asked, poking his nose with a snow-caked mitten.

"Hush," he told her, not opening his eyes. "I'm dead."

"Are not!" She announced from her perch on his chest. "You couldn't talk if you were dead."

He cracked one golden eye to look at her. "That so?" She nodded, and he grinned, carefully rolling over and dumping her to the ground and showering her with snow. She screamed with delight until he took mercy on her. Edward took her hands and hauled her out of the mound of snow she was buried in, brushing her off. Kara hung on his arm, cheeks red and eyes bright. She really looked more like Roy's daughter than his niece, he mused, swinging his arm with Kara still attached.

Emily was brushing the snow from her skirt with a smile as they approached. "Hello Edward!" She greeted, "We were just about to go inside for some hot cocoa, care to join us?"

"Sure," Ed said, "I had something I wanted to talk to you about anyway."

She shot him a curious look, but before he could say anything he felt a tug on his sleeve. Once Kara had his attention, she held out her arms in a silent demand to be picked up. Ed laughed and shook his head. That girl really took advantage of him, he realized as he complied, swinging Kara up onto his shoulders. What was it Roy had said? She had him wrapped around her little finger. "Meet you inside!" He called to Emily and dashed off, Kara squeaking in surprise and clinging to his hair. For once, Ed found he didn't really mind.

A few minutes later found them inside and comfortably warm, each with a cup of cocoa in hand. Emily had confiscated his soaking shirt over Edward's protests, giving him a blanket instead and telling him that she couldn't allow him to catch his death wandering around in wet clothes.

Kara was cuddled up against his side on the couch, and Emily sat in the chair opposite. After they were settled, she asked, "There was something you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Uh, yeah." Swallowing the lump in his throat, he set his cup down on the table. "I came to say goodbye. I'll be leaving soon. Going home."

She put a hand to her mouth in surprise. "Oh Edward! You can't!"

"But," Kara said, tugging on his blanket and looking at Ed in confusion. "You are home."

He ignored the sharp stab of pain at the innocent words and sighed, putting a hand on her head. "Not here, Kara. My real home. Where I come from."

"No," Emily said, and Edward looked up to discover she was on the verge of tears. "Kara was right. You_ are _home. You're as much a part of this family as anyone. You can't just leave."

Looking down at his hands, he wondered if there was any way to make her understand. "I can't stay, Emily. My brother is waiting for me, and I'm all he has. I can't just abandon him."

"Then find him and bring him here!" she said fiercely, dabbing at her eyes. "Any family of yours is more than welcome, you know that. As long as he was here, you wouldn't have to go."

Edward's heart twisted, and he wouldn't admit how tempting that sounded. "I'm afraid it doesn't work that way Emily. Once I go home I can't come back."

Kara suddenly started crying, crawling into his lap and clinging to the blanket around his shoulders. He stroked her hair, feeling like a complete jerk. "You can't go!" she said, the words a choked sob. "You can't!"

Ed sighed. "I have to, kiddo. I'm sorry."

"No!" She yelled, sliding off his lap. "Uncle Roy won't let you go! You'll see!" She dashed out of the room, and Edward half-stood, unsure what to do.

"Let her go," Emily said sadly, getting to her feet. "She'll be okay," she held out her arms and Edward hugged her. Emily sighed and kissed his hair. "When do you leave, dear?"

"I'm not sure yet," he said honestly, pulling away reluctantly. "Soon."

She nodded, regarding him seriously, hands planted on her hips. "This isn't any easier for you than it is for us, is it?"

The words struck home, and Ed nodded miserably. "You've all been...wonderful. Part of me doesn't want to go."

"We all do what we must, though I wish you would reconsider," she said quietly. "You'll be missed."

Edward didn't reply, reaching out and hugging her again. Emily was a sweet woman, and she reminded him of his own mother sometimes. He realized what Emily had said had some truth to it. These people, despite his best efforts, had truly become a surrogate family to him. Leaving them was going to be hard.

Emily pulled back this time, sniffling and dabbing at her eyes again. "Off with you," she said, voice unsteady. "Much more of this and I'll start crying, and I don't think either of us want that."

He nodded, swooping in a planting a kiss on her cheek and then he was gone. His hands were shaking, he realized as he returned to his room to change. The worst was over, Ed assured himself. Evan was the only one left, and in spite of the fact that they were on more or less amiable terms now, he would be the easiest to say goodbye to. At least he didn't have to worry about any emotional outbursts.

Once he had changed into a fresh set of clothes, Edward found himself standing outside Evan's bedroom door. He knocked softly.

"Come in," came the gruff voice from the other side.

Feeling more nervous than he really should, Edward pushed open the door, a little taken aback by the sight that greeted him. Evan hadn't dressed yet, lounging in an armchair wearing a robe. His injured foot was propped up and he was hunched over a notebook, the set of pencils he'd gotten for Christmas on the table beside him. He looked up as Ed entered, raising his eyebrows at his visitor and setting his work aside. "Edward. To what do I owe this pleasure?"

Dodging the question, Ed pointed to his foot. "How's it feeling?"

"Much better now, thank you. I should be up and about again tomorrow," Evan crossed his arms, pinning Edward with a level stare that made him want to squirm. "You didn't come to see me for that."

"Well, no," he admitted. "I...um. I wanted to say goodbye."

"You're leaving," Evan said, eyes narrowing.

"I'm going home," he said, wishing the old man would stop looking at him like that.

Evan sighed. "It explains a few things," he muttered, picking up his notebook and thumbing through it. "Now I know why Roy has been acting so strangely lately." He looked up suddenly. "I hope you understand what you're doing to him. He won't try to stop you, but losing you will break his heart, have no doubt of that."

Edward stared at the other man, jaw working soundlessly and completely floored by the man's bluntness. Parting wasn't going to be easy on either of them, but surely Evan was exaggerating? "I...have to go," he managed after a moment. "I don't want to hurt him, but I have to go."

Pulling a piece of paper from the notebook, Evan nodded. "I know Edward. Life is full of difficult choices. I just wanted you to know the consequences of yours. I certainly won't hold it against you, and neither will Roy. He isn't that kind of man. Here," he said, holding out the paper.

Feeling worse than he could remember feeling in a long time, Edward took it, turning it over to see what Evan had given him. It was a drawing, he realized, staring at it in speechless amazement. He had never seen any of Evan's drawings before, but the man was remarkably talented. It was a picture of Edward, Roy and Kara. They were all on a couch, Ed stretched out and fast asleep, head pillowed on Roy's leg, Kara tucked up under his arm and also asleep. Roy was awake, a forgotten book in one hand, the other resting on Ed's hair. He was watching the two of them sleep, a smile on his face.

"A memento to remember us by," Evan explained. "I drew that shortly after Christmas."

Edward nodded slowly. He remembered that night. "I can't take this," he said, looking up at the other man.

Evan snorted. "Don't be stupid boy. It's a gift." He held out his hand suddenly, and after a moment, Edward gave his own. "It has been good to know you, Edward."

"Yeah," he said slowly. "Same."

Evan turned back to his notebook then, a clear dismissal. No more words were said as he left. As if he hadn't felt guilty enough about leaving before, he felt lower than dirt now. _Losing you will break his heart. _Ed cringed as the words came back to him. Surely Evan couldn't have meant that the way it sounded. Right?

He wandered back to the work room, wallowing in guilt and uncertainty. He hadn't lied when he said part of him wanted very badly to stay. He was afraid, more than anything, that he wouldn't be able to look Roy in the eyes when the time came and tell him was ready to go. Ed wasn't sure if he would ever be ready. He was afraid that if Roy asked him to stay, he wouldn't be able to say no. Ed thought of Alphonse, and it gave him a little strength. He could do this. He could.

Edward couldn't help but smile at the sight that met him when he pushed the door open. Roy was stretched out on the desk, back against the wall and fast asleep. Apparently he had gotten tired of waiting and dozed off. Skirting the array, he reached out and slapped the man's foot. "Hey you lazy bastard, wake up."

Roy grumbled, cracking one dark eye, then the other when he recognized his assailant. "Took you long enough," he yawned.

"Yes, well, it wasn't _my _idea to go out and make everyone feel like shit," Ed said, the words coming out harsher than he had intended.

The older man's expression softened and he scooted forward, taking Edward's hands. "I know that had to have been hard on you. It was better though, to tell them yourself." He took the paper in one of Ed's hands and looked at it curiously, smiling at what he saw. "I remember that night. Evan had you out shovelling the drive if I remember, and you came back inside and promptly passed out. Did he give this to you?"

"Yeah," Ed said. "Something to remember him by, he said."

Roy nodded, carefully folding the picture and tucking it safely away inside of his journal. Ed gave him a confused look as the man handed the journal to him. "Take that with you," he said.

Edward looked down at the journal he had given Roy in confusion. "Why?"

"I always meant for you to take it with you," he explained. "I want you to give it to your colonel. I wanted to be able to share something of myself with him, and I thought this was the best way. Even if we aren't the same person, we are connected in some way. It seemed appropriate." He shrugged and smiled.

Edward nodded, looking down at the book in his hands. He could understand that. Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to look up into Roy's eyes. "Are you ready?"

"Almost," Roy said, hopping off the desk. Edward's heart skipped a beat when Roy reached out and took his face in his hands, gently brushing his thumbs against the blond's cheeks. Ed tried to ask him what he was doing, but the words stuck in his throat and all he managed was a small, strangled sound. Roy smiled slightly, tipping Edward's face up as he leaned down and kissed him.

The kiss was soft, Roy's lips moving gently against his own and something inside of Edward went liquid at the contact. He fisted his hands in Roy's shirt and leaned into him, feeling weak and dizzy and a little out of his mind. One hand broke away from his face and trailed down his side, wrapping around his waist and pulling him closer and Edward let it. He hadn't realized how badly he wanted this.

With one last, lingering kiss Roy broke away, tracing his fingers along Edward's jaw. Ed leaned into the touch, heart pounding, emotions surging wildly. Roy said nothing, wrapping his arms around the shorter man and pulling him close, resting his head on soft blond hair with a sigh. Edward let him, resting against his chest and trying to get a grip on his emotions. He had never felt like this, and the intensity of it was frightening.

Roy stroked his hair. "I love you," he whispered, voice rough with emotion. "I...I had to tell you that before you go."

Edward closed his eyes, fighting the sting of tears and suddenly angry. Damn him. Damn that bastard for doing this to him. To both of them. What right did he have to say that to him now, right before he was supposed to leave? It wasn't right, it wasn't fair. Ed couldn't stay, no matter how much he wanted to at that moment. "I wish you hadn't done that," he said, anger draining out of him as suddenly as it had come.

Roy pushed him away slightly so that he could look Edward in the eyes. "I'm not going to apologize for telling you how I feel," he said gently. "It's hard enough for me to let you go, I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I missed my last chance to tell you that I love you."

Home seemed very, very far away as he stared up at Roy. Edward felt so weak and breathless at that moment, the utter sincerity of Roy's words made him want to hit the man or maybe kiss him again. He could feel his resolve crumbling beneath the weight of his own feelings. "I...I could-"

"Don't," Roy interrupted. "Don't say it, or I might not be able to say no. You don't belong here. We both know that."

He was right, and Edward knew it. It didn't make it hurt any less as he carefully tucked the journal away in his shirt, the pain of stepping out of Roy's arms was almost physical as he retrieved Al's pocket watch from a drawer in the desk. His hand trembled as he put the watch in his pocket, stepping carefully into the center of the circle. "I'm ready," he whispered.

Roy took his position on the outside of the circle, sinking to his knees. He smiled at Edward, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Don't look at me like that," he said. "Al needs you, right? Think of him."

Ed nodded, not trusting his voice. He watched as Roy closed his eyes and took a deep breath, probably going over what they had already rehearsed. They could connect to the colonel on the other side, but not directly. Impressions and images were the best they could manage, but images were all they needed. Roy was supposed to show his counterpart an array, and if all went well, the colonel would activate that array from the other side. That would establish the connection that would carry him from this world to the other.

Edward found himself holding his breath as dark eyes met his, and Roy whispered, "Goodbye," as he reached down and touched his hands to the array.

* * *

General Roy Mustang was having a very bad day. Another key government official was found dead in his home the night before, murdered. The second that month. The group taking responsibility for the recent rash of assassinations claimed that certain high-ranking officers in the military were next. Including General Mustang himself. There was talk of increased security, and some even went so far as to suggest those in danger be assigned bodyguards. He had to admit it wasn't a bad idea, but the notion of being stuck with a contingent of bodyguards until they caught these bastards was giving him a headache.

He pinched the bridge of his nose with a irritated growl. Not another one of his blasted headaches. The cursed things had started a few months ago, coming swiftly and without warning, for no reason he could determine. Sometimes they only lasted minutes, sometimes hours, and then they were gone as suddenly as they came. Painkillers had no effect, and they drove him mad.

"General? Are you all right?"

He sighed and opened his eyes, waving Hawkeye into his office. "I'm fine Major, just a headache." Her brow creased in concern, and he decided to stave off any more questions. "I don't suppose you have good news for me?"

She snapped to attention. "I'm afraid not, sir. After thorough investigation of-"

The rest of her report was lost on him as the pain suddenly intensified a hundredfold. He squeezed his eyes shut, putting his hands to his head. A dull sense of shock surged through him as an image of Edward Elric imprinted itself behind his eyes. Older and dressed strangely, but it was definitely him. It was gone as suddenly as it came, replaced with the image of a complicated array and a sense of urgency.

He opened his eyes slowly, the image of the array overlapping his actual sight. Hawkeye was saying something, but he ignored her. It couldn't be, could it? Could Fullmetal possibly be contacting him somehow? Shoving a stack of papers off his desk, he quickly traced the array onto the wood before he lost the image. There was no way to know for sure, but it was worth the risk. Without a moments hesitation, he activated the array.

There was a strange jolt and a flash, and General Mustang was no longer in his office. He was staring into an endless sea of pale light. It was peaceful, in a strange sort of way. Calming. Behind he felt something looming, something large and ancient and he found himself turning as though drawn by an invisible hand.

"I wouldn't look, if I were you. Whatever it is back there, it isn't something you or I should see."

Suddenly there was a man standing beside him, and Roy stared. The man, whoever he was, bore startling resemblance the general himself. They could have been twins. Vaguely, he was aware that this should disturb him, but in this place it was not so much alarming as curious. "Why shouldn't I look?"

The other man shrugged. "I have no idea. Edward told me I might wind up here, and warned me that no matter what, I shouldn't look," he smiled slightly. "I'm inclined to take him at his word."

Edward. Suddenly Roy remembered how he had gotten there, and what he had seen. "Edward!" He reached out and took the other man by the shoulders. "Do you mean Edward Elric?"

The man nodded, taking a step back out of the general's hold. "He's trying to get home, colonel, and he needs your help to do so," the man smiled slightly, but it was overshadowed by sadness. "He had a lot of confidence that you would figure out what to do. I guess it was well-founded. Will you help him?" he asked, extending a hand to the other man.

"Of course," Mustang said, reaching out and taking the other man's hand without hesitation.

The other man drew him close. "Take care of him," he whispered, and the world began to fade around them.

Roy started, leaning heavily against the edge of his desk, blinking rapidly. He felt slightly ill and incredibly tired. What had happened? His head was pounding terribly, and he vaguely remembered talking to someone, but who? He frowned. It was all so fuzzy.

"General!"

His head snapped up at Hawkeye's voice, jaw dropping at what he saw. There, lying on his desk and dressed in strange clothing was Edward Elric, who was staring back at him dazedly. "Hullo Colonel," he said distantly, sounding as dazed as he looked.

Roy, still completely unsure what had just happened, felt himself smile through the shock. "Hello Fullmetal. Long time no see."


	6. Old Friends

A/N: Oh my goodness, almost a week late ::shame:: I had a lot of stuff come up this week, on top of which this chapter was just being a beast. Then I had to rewrite the whole first part from Ed's POV since I did it in Roy's first and decided I didn't like it. XD Thank you for being patient with me, hehe.

I have two bits of news for you all. First, this story took off in a slightly different direction than I had originally anticipated, so anything you've heard about the story before now may no longer be true. Just wanted to give you all a heads up.

Second, Conversion is going to be on hiatus until mid-December or so while I participate in NaNoWriMo and then give myself a week or two to recover. You may get a chapter sooner than that, depending on how things go, but no guarantees. I'll let you know when I'm back on track with my once a week updates. For those of you who are curious about my NaNo progress, feel free to pop on over to my livejournal, (same username, and its also linked from my profile) which I'll be updating daily with my word count progress, which directly relates to how soon you get more Conversion. ;) I also post new chapters of Conversion there as well for those of you who prefer your fiction on LJ.

Much hugs and love to my reviewers, you guys are awesome!

::Chapter 6::

::Old Friends::**  
**

Edward Elric felt like he had been hit by a truck. A large one. One that perhaps was carrying ten tons of bricks that it had dumped on him after running him down. Everything ached, and his vision was doing strange things, fuzzing in and out as he blinked up at the man who was staring back down in obvious shock. Colonel Mustang.

It worked, he realized distantly, shifting slightly and regretting the movement when his muscles screamed in protest. Ed was laying on something hard, and after a moment, he realized it was Roy's desk. The thought struck him as funny, but he couldn't seem to muster the energy to laugh.

His stomach suddenly heaved, and Edward rolled over, ignoring the protests of his body and threw up over the side of the desk. A wastebasket suddenly appeared under him, and Ed didn't question it as he proceeded to empty his breakfast, and possibly dinner from the night before. He could hear voices over his head and felt someone pull his hair back as his stomach heaved again and Edward was fairly sure he threw up everything he had eaten in the last week before it felt like he was finished.

"Ugh," Edward groaned, spitting into the wastebasket and wiping his mouth in disgust. That had been truly foul. "If I had known that would happen, I wouldn't have eaten breakfast," he grumbled, sitting upright as the hand that had been holding his hair --Roy's he realized-- let go. It turned out Hawkeye had been the one holding the wastebasket, and he managed a weak smile for her, still feeling dazed. "Thanks."

She smiled at him, seemingly taking his sudden appearance much better than he expected. "You're welcome Edward," she said, looking over at Roy. "I'll go see about that uniform," she said and vanished from his office with a salute.

Uniform? Ed watched her go, wondering what she needed a uniform for. "How do you feel?" Roy asked, and Ed jumped at the sound of his voice.

Edward looked up then, feeling anxious as he slid off the desk and flopped gracelessly into one of the chairs. Damn, but his muscles felt like rubber. "Like shit," he said with a weak smile, looking up at the familiar face. It was strange, to see him again after everything that had happened and he suddenly wished Hawkeye would come back. He didn't think he was ready to face this man. Not yet.

Carefully stepping around the gift Edward had left on the floor, Roy sat on the edge of his desk, giving Ed a careful once-over. He was covering it well, but Ed could read the shock in his visible eye. Wait a minute. Ed blinked a few times, making sure that his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. An eye patch? When the hell had he gotten that? "What happened to your eye?" he asked, frowning. For some reason he couldn't place, the eye patch bothered him immensely.

Roy blinked, obviously not expecting the question. "An old injury," he said after a moment. "I lost it years ago."

Edward felt suddenly dizzy, and all he could do was nod, swaying slightly in his chair. God damn, he was _not _ready to face this Roy yet. Traveling from one world to another had left him feeling weak and out of sorts as it was, and Edward found himself having a hard time getting a grip on his confused feelings. He was sorely tempted to curl into a ball and scream, maybe cry, but he suspected he'd have a hard time explaining that to the man afterwards.

Roy slid down the desk, putting himself at eye-level with Edward. "Where the hell have you been, Fullmetal?" he asked softly.

Fullmetal. He hadn't heard that name in five years, and it didn't sit well with him now. He hadn't been the Fullmetal Alchemist in a long time. Ed sighed. "That's a long story Colonel, one I don't think I'm up for telling just yet," he blinked, peering blearily at Roy for a moment. Not a colonel anymore, it seemed. "General," he corrected. Not bad. That was just one step short of Fuhrer. He had obviously been busy in Edward's absence.

For a moment he thought Roy was going to push the issue, but he frowned and seemed to think better of it. That was going to be a strange story to tell, though he had every intention of leaving out the...personal bits. Mustang didn't need to know those. His brother on the other hand, well, he wasn't sure how much he would tell Al either.

Al. Ed surged to his feet, a sudden burst of restless energy filling him at the thought of his brother. "Al! Did it work? Is Al okay!?" He asked quickly, scowling when Roy pushed him back down into the chair.

"Alphonse is fine," Roy assured him, and Edward sagged with relief. He listened as Roy told him briefly about what had happened after he disappeared, about how Al had seemed to lose everything from the moment they had tried to transmute their mother. His memory, and even his age. Part of him was sad that Al wouldn't remember anything they had gone through, but on the other hand, it was probably better that way. His brother would be spared the hardships they had to endure all those years.

Ed nodded slowly, yawning. Yeah. It was for the best. His eyelids suddenly felt heavy, and he let them slide closed. Al was safe, healthy and whole again. That was what mattered.

"Fullmetal."

The name was followed by a touch on his shoulder and Ed started awake, head snapping up. He blinked at Roy sleepily. Roy? What was he doing there? Had he been dreaming? "It didn't work?" he asked, voice thick with sleep. "But, the colonel...he..." he trailed off with a frown, confused.

"Fullmetal? Are you alright?" Ed blinked. Roy never called him that. He stared at the face hovering near his own, and he suddenly realized it wasn't the Roy he was used to seeing. Not his Roy. He wasn't in Boston, he in Central. "I thought I was still..." Ed shook his head slowly, feeling foolish. "Sorry, I don't think I was quite awake. Er, how long was I out?"

"Not long," Roy assured him, dropping something blue into his lap. Ed stared at it in confusion for a minute before he realized he was looking at a uniform. "Get changed and I'll have Hawkeye take you down to the infirmary. I want them to have a look at you, make sure you're okay."

Ed rolled his eyes. Figures. He pops up after five years and yaks on the general's carpet, and this is what he got. "I'm _fine,_" he said. "Just tired and a little sick to my stomach."

"Humor me."

Edward glared at him, then at the uniform in his lap. "Why do I need to wear a stupid uniform anyway?" he asked, feeling decidedly cranky.

"I assume the last thing you want right now is to stand out," Roy said with a smirk.

Ed made a face, but sighed and stood. The man had a point, his clothing was hardly the norm for this place. Hawkeye politely turned her back so he could change. He started to unbutton the shirt he was wearing, then stopped, pulling the journal from where it had been tucked away inside his shirt and giving Roy a dirty look. "Are you just going to stand there and watch?"

Roy smirked, "Well-" he was interrupted when Ed launched the book he was holding at the general's head. Roy caught it easily.

"Don't you dare finish that sentence, you bastard!" Edward threatened as Roy turned around with a chuckle. It was strange how easy it was to fall back into familiar patterns, Ed thought, discarding his old clothes on favor of the uniform Hawkeye had brought. It was a little too loose in the shoulders and a little too long in the legs, he noted sourly. "Let's get this over with so I can sleep," Ed said, punctuating the words with a loud yawn.

Roy turned, smirking at the sight that met him. "A uniform suits you, Fullmetal."

Ed rolled his eyes. "Screw you, Roy," he snapped, "I'm only wearing it until I can get some real clothes."

Roy raised an eyebrow, and Ed realized he had called the man by his first name. Damn. That was going to be a hard habit to get back out of. He could tell Roy was curious, but didn't say anything, instead plucking an empty coffee cup from his desk and tossing it to Ed. He barely caught it, reflexes not near what they should be and looked at Roy in askance. He hoped things wouldn't take too long. Ed _really _wanted to sleep.

"Transmute that for me."

"Why would you want me to-" he stopped suddenly, looking from Roy, to Hawkeye and back again, realization dawning. They were suspicious. The thought pissed him off. After all the shit he went through to get back here, they had the gall to ask him to prove himself? "You don't think I'm me, do you?"

Roy sighed. "Let's just say you picked a bad time to appear out of nowhere. Just do this for me, and we can let the matter drop."

Edward dropped to the floor with a snarl, slamming the cup down in front of him none-too-gently. He rolled up his sleeves and held up his arms, back and front, showing that he had no arrays drawn on his flesh or automail. "Nothing up my sleeves," he muttered sarcastically. He brought his hands together, stopping just short of touching the palms together, staring at his hands. He hadn't been able to do this for five years. He smiled slightly. If the bastard wanted him to prove he really was Edward Elric, then he would do it with a little style. He clapped his hands together and touched the cup. There was a flash of alchemic energy, and in place of the cup was something else.

Ed picked it up, turning it over in his hands with a grin. It was a small likeness of General Roy Mustang, cross eyed, the words 'Colonel Bastard' etched into the base. Nothing fancy, and he could have probably done better if he wasn't so blasted tired, but it wasn't bad for his first try. He tossed the figure to Mustang. "Good enough bastard?"

If he didn't know better, he would have sworn Roy was trying not to laugh when he realized what he was holding. "I'm not a colonel anymore, Fullmetal," Roy reminded him dryly, setting the little statue on his desk.

Ed grinned. "Yeah, but General Bastard just doesn't roll off the tongue as well."

"Well, I think even if the method wasn't proof enough, the choice of subject matter would have convinced me," Roy said, shaking his head, a small grin stealing onto his lips. He looked over at Hawkeye, who was watching the exchange with amusement. "Take him down to the infirmary, Major," he said, then turned to Ed. "Get checked out and then you can sleep as long as you want. I have to clean up this mess, then I'll join you."

Sleep. God, that sounded so good right then. Ed could put up with a little poking and prodding with the promise of a nice, long sleep waiting for him. He hadn't been so exhausted in ages, and he certainly didn't recall being that tired when the gate had first dumped him on the other world. Hawkeye waved him over, and he complied, stopping for a moment to stare at her.

Her hair, her face, her eyes, the self-assured way she held herself. Things he feared he would never see again. How long would it take him to get used to the faces of his friends again? How long would it be before he wasn't afraid they would vanish in a puff of smoke? Hawkeye noticed his scrutiny and cocked her head slightly, questioning. "I just...it's good to see you again," he told her, feeling suddenly embarrassed.

She favored him with a faint smile and a nod. "It's good to see you again, too," she said. "We missed you."

Ed returned her smile. "Yeah," he turned to look at Roy, who was watching the exchange with an unreadable expression. "I even missed you, you bastard. A little. Don't let it go to your head."

Roy smiled then, and Ed suppressed the painful twinge at seeing such a familiar expression on the face of the wrong man. "Of course not."

Ed shifted uncomfortably and turned back to the door. He took half a step and paused. "Are they out there?" he asked, suddenly not wanting to see anyone else. He was so tired, and so overwhelmed that he wasn't sure he wouldn't start crying if he had to deal with many more reunions before he could sleep. The last thing he wanted to do was embarrass himself.

"I've got them all out looking into things for me," came Roy's voice from behind him. "You probably won't see any of them until later."

Relieved and feeling a little guilty about it, Ed nodded and pushed the door open, Hawkeye starting to follow, then pausing and turning back. "Sir, I don't think it's such a good idea to leave you on your own."

A heavy sigh. "I'll be fine for a few minutes, Major. I just need to straighten up a little in case someone wanders in to my office. I'll join the two of you in the infirmary shortly."

She frowned. "Sir, I really-"

"That's an order, Major," Roy said shortly, his voice taking on that 'shut up and do as you're told' tone Edward had heard and ignored so many times before.

"Yes sir!" Hawkeye saluted, the frown vanishing. She turned and left the office, Ed trailing after her. Hawkeye could be hard to read if you didn't know her, but Ed could tell she was most definitely not pleased.

"What was that about?" Edward asked, closing the door behind him.

She sighed, shoulders drooping a bit as they moved out into the hall. "There have been several assassinations recently, and we've been unable to catch the culprits. General Mustang among several others have been listed as future targets."

Ed considered this as Hawkeye led him down the hall. Maybe leaving the bastard alone wasn't such a hot idea. Mustang could take care of himself, sure, but maybe it was best not to tempt fate. He opened his mouth to say so, but before he could get the words out, a wave of agony ripped through him.

Edward distantly heard himself scream as he crumpled to the floor, the pain flaring unbearably and then fading almost as soon as it started. Echoes rippled through his body and he could feel Hawkeye kneeling beside him, hear her voice, but he couldn't seem to make out the words. Suddenly Roy was there, rolling him on his back, and the pain slowly began to fade.

"Fuck!" Ed gasped weakly, struggling to sit up. Roy pushed him back down and Edward didn't fight him, feeling weak as a newborn kitten.

"What happened?" Roy asked urgently, hands deftly checking for any sign of injury.

"I don't know," Edward said as the pain faded to almost nothing. He still felt weak and shaky, but within seconds the pain was gone entirely. "We were just walking, and then all of a sudden pain hits me out of nowhere."

"How bad did it hurt?" Roy asked, helping him sit up.

Ed scowled. "How bad do you _think,_ asshole?" It had easily been on par with the pain of attaching an automail limb, but that had been easier to bear because he had been expecting it. This had hit swiftly and without warning.

Pushing himself to his feet with shaky arms, Edward wobbled dangerously, his legs giving out on him again. The only thing that stopped him from a sudden and painful reunion with the floor was Roy's quick reflexes. Before he realized what was happening Roy had scooped him up and startled, Ed threw his hands around Roy's shoulders to steady himself. He stared at Roy in stunned surprise for a moment, and began squirming when he realized the general had no intention of putting him down. "I can walk you know!"

"I think you just proved otherwise, Fullmetal," Roy said evenly and began walking in the same direction he and Hawkeye had been headed. Ed was suddenly very, very glad for the empty halls. It was probably a minor miracle no one else had heard him scream and come to investigate.

"Put me down!" He snarled, kicking his legs in a futile attempt to get the man to release him. "Or I'll...I'll..."

"You'll what?" Roy said, looking down at him with a smirk. "Bite my kneecaps?"

Edward roared. "You bast-" he was silenced by a white gloved hand pressing firmly over his mouth. He bit that hand, watching in satisfaction when Roy winced and gave him a dirty look. The hand did not move however.

"I swear I'll gag you if I have to," Roy threatened. "Now stop being a brat!"

Ed stopped squirming and settled on a malevolent glare. He _could _have walked on his own. Maybe. Probably not, but he wasn't about to admit as much to that bastard.

The infirmary wasn't far, and before long, he had another set of hands poking and prodding and asking uncomfortable questions. Edward put up with it with a minimum of grumbling, reminding himself that he had been promised a nap after. He was twice as tired now as before, if that was even possible, and he was having difficulty keeping his eyes open.

Once the doctor announced he was finished and that Ed wasn't in any immediate danger of death, he stopped fighting his weariness and let his eyes slide closed.

* * *

Roy leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, listening to the murmur of voices behind the door. He couldn't hear the words, but he could easily distinguish the deep baritone of the doctor's voice from Edward's. They didn't have long to wait. The door clicked open and Dr. Jansen slid into the waiting room, carefully closing it behind him. 

"He's fine," he said as Roy and Hawkeye stood. "So exhausted he could barely stand, and very weak, but nothing that a bit of food and rest won't put right. He fell asleep in my office. I can move him to one of the beds or someone can take him home."

"What about that sudden pain he experienced?"

The doctor shrugged. "There's nothing physically wrong with him. Alchemists have a distressing habit of doing things to their bodies that physicians can't do much about. As long as it doesn't happen again, I wouldn't worry about it too much."

Roy frowned, not entirely satisfied with that, but nodded. "Might as well let him sleep for now. I'll leave Major Hawkeye here to keep an eye on him. I'll come back for him later." He nodded to them both, and left the infirmary, turning down the hall back towards his office.

He hadn't made it far when he heard Hawkeye shout, "General!" The urgency in her voice sending a thrill of alarm down his spine. Roy turned and ran back to the infirmary.

"It happened again, sir." Hawkeye said, concern clearly written on her features. She led him to the office where the doctor was with a now wide-awake Edward who was lying on the floor and gasping in pain. He knelt beside the doctor, taking Edward's hand while he waited for the attack to pass.

It did, almost as quickly as last time, and once Ed got his voice back he let out a string of curses. Dr. Jansen ignored these, looking over to Roy. "This is what happened before?"

Roy nodded, concerned. "I was in my office at the time, and Hawkeye was bringing him down here. It happened in the hall, and I came to see what happened when I heard him scream."

The doctor digested this. "You were involved in this alchemy working that went on shortly before this started, yes?" Roy nodded, and the doctor frowned. "And both times he had an attack, either he was leaving or you were, correct?"

"Yes," Roy said, not sure where this was going. "Are you saying I might have something to do with this?"

"It's an easy enough theory to test," The doctor said, getting to his feet as Roy helped Edward into the doctor's chair. The blond sank into the leather with a pained sigh. Dr. Jansen grabbed the chair and wheeled it out into the waiting room. "Major," he called, and Hawkeye hurried over. The doctor turned to Ed. "I want you to tell the major the moment you begin to experience any pain or discomfort, okay?" Ed yawned and nodded wearily.

He walked over to the door, motioning for Mustang to follow. He propped the door open and leaned against it. "I want you to walk slowly backwards down the hall, and be ready to come back the instant I tell you to." Roy complied, hoping fervently that the doctor's theory was wrong.

It was not to be, however. It didn't take them long to verify that Edward's sudden bouts of pain were directly related to his proximity to the other alchemist. Whenever Roy crossed that invisible line, it was like flipping a switch and Edward was suddenly doubled over in pain. The blond was sleeping again, not even what he had just been put through enough to keep him awake.

Dr. Jansen had retreated to his office after being thanked and ordered not to mention this to anyone. Roy was now conversing with Hawkeye in low tones, trying to decide what to do. "I suppose I'll have to take him back to my office. I have work to do, and he can sleep on the couch there. I'm not sure what to do after that, though. I can't exactly take him home with me."

Hawkeye looked suddenly pleased, and the expression made Roy a little nervous. "Actually sir, you'll have to do just that. You have more than enough room for a guest, and I happen to know you have several weeks of back vacation time. This would be a good time to take it."

Roy shook his head. "I can't, Riza. They would never approve it now, not with this mess we're trying to deal with."

"Oh, I don't know about that. If you agreed to a bodyguard, they might see things differently," She smiled at him, then looked meaningfully at the small blond curled up on the waiting room couch. "Particularly if that bodyguard was the Fullmetal Alchemist."

He stared at her for a long moment, a small smile curling his lips. Sometimes that woman was just plain devious. They would have to come up with a story to explain Edward's long absence, something other than the truth he suspected, but that wouldn't be too difficult. A perfect excuse for Edward to be around him at all times, and it would also get Parliament off his back about the bodyguard nonsense. "I could kiss you," he told her.

"Buy me a drink, and we'll call it even," she said with a smile.

"You got it," he turned his attention back to Edward, who had started snoring softly. Deciding trying to wake the alchemist was a lost cause, he crouched down and slid one arm beneath his knees and the other around his back and lifted. Edward was dead weight as he shifted the blond in his arms. He looked down to find golden eyes staring up at him sleepily and waited for the protest that never came. Instead, the eyes just slid shut again and Edward leaned his head against Roy's chest with a sigh, asleep again within seconds.

Roy shook his head in amazement. He must not have actually been awake. There was no way Edward would have put up with being carried if he had been halfway lucid. He carried the alchemist back to his office, laying him on the black couch. Edward shifted slightly, curling up a little, but did not wake. Roy retrieved his long coat from the rack and draped it over the sleeping form.

"Tell the others I don't want to be disturbed if they make it back before I leave," he straightened, stretching. "I don't think Fullmetal is up to seeing everyone again just yet." Roy picked up the garbage can, wrinkling his nose as he tried not to smell it and passed it over to Hawkeye. "Get rid of this, and see if you can find someone to take care of that," he said, pointing to the discolored spot near his desk where Edward had left his little gift.

Transferring her burden to one hand, she saluted and left. Roy turned back to his office and set about cleaning up the mess he had made with a sigh. There were papers everywhere, including one unfortunate that had been a little too close when Edward had thrown up. He made a face. Hopefully that wasn't an important document.

After he had cleaned the array off of his desk he sat down with the haphazard stack of papers and began sorting them into some semblance of order. He spent a few minutes shuffling documents before he sighed and set them aside, his eyes roaming back to the young man sleeping on his couch. Edward had curled up even more while he cleaned, nearly hidden beneath Roy's coat now, just a lump beneath the black material with the tips of his shoes poking out one end and the top of his blond head sticking out the other. As he watched Ed sighed and rolled over, the coat falling away from his face as he turned towards Roy.

He looked different. Roy frowned, considering. No, not different really, just more mature. Older. His face has lost some of that childish roundness and Roy suspected he might even be a little taller. Not much, a few inches maybe, but it was hard to tell with Edward curled up on his couch. His hair was much longer, the braid falling just past the middle of his back.

It was utterly surreal, as if part of him still couldn't believe what his senses were telling him. Though officially considered dead, Roy had never really believed that. Fullmetal was just too tough to let a little thing like death get in his way. He smiled slightly, imagining a contest of wills between Death and Edward Elric would end in Ed emerging the victor.

Roy sighed, looking back and forth between his paperwork and Edward. Oh, what the hell. If he was going to take his vacation, he might as well get started now. He wasn't going to get anything done now anyway, not with the so many questions nagging at him. Standing up, he pulled open the door to his office, relieved to see that Hawkeye was still there. "Sir?"

"Get the car," he told her, "I'm not going to get anything done, and I might as well let Fullmetal sleep in a bed."

A short while later found them in the car headed towards his home. Getting Edward that far had been a task in itself. The blond alchemist had wobbled dangerously, eyelids drooping and seemingly unable to hold his head up for more than a few seconds at a time. Roy was half afraid Edward would fall asleep standing up, but they had managed to make it to the car before Edward had promptly flopped over in the back seat and fallen back asleep.

He didn't live far from headquarters, and it didn't take long for them to pull up in front of his house. It was nice, if a little smaller than one might expect for someone of his rank. He leaned over the seat as the car rumbled to a stop and poked the sleeping blond. "We're here, wake up." After a bit of prodding, he managed to get Edward awake and out of the car. He thanked Riza and then led Edward inside.

Roy left Ed on the couch in the living room and went to get some clean blankets for the guest room. He quickly changed them out and went to retrieve Edward only to find the alchemist happily snoozing on his couch. Roy shook his head with a smile. Tired didn't quite begin to describe it. For the third time that day, he found himself carrying the smaller man, but this time Edward didn't stir at all.

He managed to carry him upstairs with a bit of creative maneuvering and deposited him on the bed in the guest room. After a moments hesitation, he pulled off Edward's shoes and tugged the blankets up around him, watching as he sighed and curled deeper into them. Roy stared, still not quite believing that Edward was back. That he was really there, and not just a figment of his imagination. He watched him sleep for several minutes, memorizing the lines of his face, trying to convince himself that the young alchemist wasn't going to vanish the moment he turned his back. He reached out, hand ghosting over the blond hair, and he smiled.

"Welcome home."


	7. Revelation

A/N: Surprise! A chapter about three weeks earlier than I promised! What can I say? Not back to my weekly updates yet, I'll let you know when I'm back on track. Also, I drew a quick sketch of Alter!Roy if anyone wants to see it. You can find it on my livejournal at: arathe(dot)livejournal(dot)com in one of my entries on November 11th.

Thanks to my reviewers! Sorry if I didn't get back to a lot of you last round, FFN was being screwy about sending them to me, and I lost track.

Much love for Staehli, who beta'd this chapter for me and caught my many slip-ups where I forgot Roy only has one eye. XD

::Chapter 7::

::Revelation::

Edward sighed and rolled over, pulling the blankets over his head to block out the light. He was warm and content and after a moment he stretched out from his curl, spreading out his arms and legs and arching slightly, stretching tired muscles. He settled back down and sighed again, drowsing happily and not entirely sure he wanted to be awake yet.

How long he lay like that, hovering on the edge of sleep, he wasn't sure. After a while however, consciousness began to win out, not to mention that it was getting a bit hard to breathe with the thick blanket pulled over his head, no matter how pleasant the warm darkness was. He pushed the blanket down around his waist and took a deep breath of fresh air, cracking his eyes and immediately regretting it as bright sunlight assaulted him. Snapping the lids shut, he waited a few moments and tried again, slowly this time, first one eye then the other, letting the golden orbs adjust. Stupid sun, he grumbled inwardly.

After a long moment of staring at the white ceiling over his head, Ed sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed, grumbling as his shirt twisted and bunched uncomfortably. That gave him pause. Shirt? He looked down, startled to find himself fully dressed, minus shoes, in the uniform of the Amestris military.

What on earth?

Ed started suddenly, the events of the previous day coming back in a hazy rush. Not on earth at all, he realized with a bit of dazed humor. It had worked. They had done it. He was home.

Home. He was surprised to find the thought brought feelings of both happiness and sadness, the emotions running parallel course in his heart. Ed growled, fiercely pushing it all back down, unwilling and unable to deal with any of it now and concentrated on figuring out exactly where he was. Most of the previous day was a blur, a hazy stream of events with brief bouts of clarity. This was not one of them. Ed had no idea where he was, or how he had gotten there.

Getting to his feet with a huge yawn, Edward shuffled over to the window and peered out. He was in someone's house, he realized as he stared out at a small, fenced-in back yard and the backside of another house beyond. Ed turned a slow circle, looking at the room. The bed was large, with white sheets and deep blue coverlet. The rest of the room was fairly bare: a nightstand, a dresser, a closet, and a small painting on the far wall that didn't seem to be of anything in particular. Aside from the rumpled blankets, the room had an air of disuse about it. That, and the lack of personal items assured Ed that he hadn't put anyone out of their bed for the night.

Still, that begged the question of whose house he had slept in. Ed moved toward the door, sorting slowly through his jumbled memories. He paused as a thought occurred to him. The fact that he kept getting zapped by some mysterious cosmic force every time Roy was too far away meant that this was probably the general's house. Which also meant that said general was probably near by. The thought made him feel vaguely ill.

Ed rested his hand on the doorknob, debating whether or not to go out and find a bathroom, or to crawl back into bed for the next hundred years, by which time all his problems would have died. Both options had their merits, but his bladder was screaming quite loudly, and it was promptly joined by his stomach, demanding in its loud and rumbling fashion to be fed. Two against one, his better judgment fled back under the bed, defeated, and Ed sighed and pulled open the door.

The hallway was silent and empty, and Ed was relieved discover the first door he opened was a bathroom. After his bladder was quite happily empty, he wandered down the stairs, hoping to find something to attend to his stomach. Ed froze on the bottom step as a dark eye turned on him from the couch.

"About time you decided to drag your lazy ass out of bed," Roy said with a smirk, setting aside the book he'd been reading. "Do you realize you slept for nearly a full twenty-four hours?"

Ed blinked, digesting this. No wonder it had felt like his bladder was going to explode. His stomach, deciding it had had enough of this dawdling, protested loudly. Ed, as always a slave to its needs, put on a pathetic face and said, "Feed me?"

Roy snorted, but got to his feet and Ed took that as an affirmative. He trailed after the general, settling onto one of the stools around the island that served as a table while Roy poked his head into the pantry, digging around. After a bit of searching, he turned to Ed. "Eggs and toast okay with you? Afraid I don't have much, I don't usually eat at home."

Edward's stomach practically purred at the mention of food, and he nodded. Roy turned around, and after a moment, Ed realized the purring wasn't his stomach, but rather the happy rumble of the black-striped yellow cat perched on the stool beside him. Ed stared at the cat for a moment, surprised. He had never really though of the general as the kind of man who would have a pet, really. A dog, maybe, but a cat didn't really seem his style.

The cat, noticing his attention, hopped up onto the counter and rubbed against his chin, demanding love. Ed smiled slightly and complied, scritching the friendly creature under the chin. The cat purred louder, leaning into the touch. Ed pulled his hand away and the cat batted at it. He grinned. Attention whore. Maybe the cat really was suited to the general.

"Ed!" Roy barked suddenly, startling both man and cat. "Get off the counter!" He commanded, pointing a knife at the cat. Ed blinked in surprise as Roy leaned over and shoved the feline onto the floor, where the cat promptly settled on its haunches and gave Roy an irritated look.

Edward looked from Roy to the cat, and back again. "You named your cat after me?" he asked incredulously. He wasn't sure if he should be flattered or freaked out.

Roy rolled his eyes, turning back to the stove. "It seemed appropriate, considering you were the one who wanted me to take the cat in the first place. Besides, the two of you have very similar personalities," he added dryly. "She's just as bitchy as you are."

Ed ignored the bitchy comment in favor of something else. _"She_? You named your_ female _cat after me?"

"I didn't know she was a she when I got her," Roy said defensively, cracking an egg into the pan. "I didn't know that until the stupid thing went out and got herself knocked up, actually."

Ed stared at the back of Roy's head and wondered just at what point the man had lost his mind. "You can't tell the difference between a male and a female? Your love life must be screwy as all hell, Roy."

Roy half-turned, giving him a strange look, and Ed realized he'd called the man by his first name again. "I can tell the difference, I just never bothered to check."

Leave it to Roy Mustang not to bother to find out the gender of his pet before naming it. Ed blinked suddenly, something occurring to him. "Wait, what did you mean when you said I wanted you to take her? "

"You don't remember?" Roy asked, scooping the now-scrambled eggs onto a plate with toast and setting it in front of Ed. "That was one of your stipulations if you won the battle assessment."

Ed gaped, looking down at the cat who was now ignoring both of them, giving her face a good wash. That was the kitten Al had smuggled around all those years ago? "But how? We left her-"

"Fuery saw you and picked her up after you left. You know what a bleeding heart he is. He brought her into the office the next day, and once I realized it was the same cat I was supposed to take, I figured I ought to hold up my end of things," Roy said, settling down across from Edward, resting his chin on his hand.

Ed considered this as he inhaled his breakfast. "But that isn't equivalent exchange," he argued around mouthful of toast. "You already did something for us. It wouldn't have been right to make you take the cat too."

The general just shrugged. "I've had her for what? Six years now? Seven? It's kind of a moot point."

"I suppose," Ed said, shoveling the last of his eggs into his mouth. "I still can't believe you named her after me, though."

Roy didn't bother to dignify that with a response, instead vanishing from the room, returning a moment later with a bag that he dropped on the counter beside Ed. "Hawkeye brought these by for you this morning."

Curious, Ed pulled open the bag, rifling through the contents. There were the clothes he had changed out of, neatly folded. A brief bout of panic filled him, but a quick check assured him that Al's watch was still in the pocket where he had left it. There were several articles of clothing that weren't his, a pair of black boots, a hairbrush and a toothbrush, and at the bottom, Roy's journal. He winced, drawing the journal out of the bag and feeling like a jerk. It didn't matter how out of it he was, that was no excuse to leave it behind. Ed was lucky Hawkeye had the foresight to retrieve his things for him.

Setting the journal on the counter, Ed pulled out the clothes. There was quite a bit there. Several shirts in various colors, two pairs of pants and a long black coat. Even underwear and socks. On the bottom of the pile was a deep red sweater. Ed pulled it out, running fingers over the soft material. He looked over at Roy, who had retaken the seat across from him. "What's all this?" he asked.

"Hawkeye took the liberty of picking you up some clothes since you didn't seem to have anything with you. She said she had to guess sizes, so if something doesn't fit she'll take it back."

Ed blinked, starting down at the pile of clothing, surprised and pleased at her thoughtfulness. He'd have to thank her when he saw her again.

"All right, Fullmetal," Roy said, suddenly all business and Ed looked up. "You got your sleep, and now I want my answers."

Ed sighed. He really, really didn't want to talk about it, but he supposed there was no way around it. No way the general was going to let him off the hook. "Can I take a shower first?" he asked, more to stall for time than anything. "It's a long story, and I want to clean up first. I feel gross."

"Fine," Roy said, eyes narrowing in irritation. "Make it quick though."

Relieved at the delay, however temporary, Ed nodded and leaped to his feet, gathering up the clothes before Roy could change his mind. He was about to run off when he paused uncertainly. The bathroom he had used earlier hadn't had a shower. Roy seemed to realize his problem, because he sighed, pointing. "Down the hall, second door on the left."

As it turned out, Hawkeye's powers of observation were impressive indeed. Everything fit perfectly. Well, almost. The pants were a little too long, but he could deal with that. Ed wiped the steam from the mirror and cocked his head, surprised by the reflection that looked back at him. It was strange to be back in red and black again, colors he hadn't worn in a very long time. If he squinted and looked just so, Ed almost imagined he could see himself at fifteen years old staring back out. The Fullmetal Alchemist. He sighed, turning away. Not anymore, he wasn't.

Collecting the dirty uniform from where he had left it on the floor, Ed looked around, at a loss for what to do with it. Finally he just shrugged and folded it, leaving it on the bathroom counter. He'd ask the general about it later. Snatching up his hair clip from where he left it, he collected everything and wandered back out. Roy was still in the kitchen, looking up when Ed entered.

Feeling decidedly nervous, Ed stuffed the unused clothing back into the bag and pulled out the hairbrush, silently thanking Hawkeye once again for being so thoughtful. He almost passed the brush over to Roy, but caught himself before he asked the man to braid his hair. He sighed, dragging the brush through wet strands. How long would it take before he would stop doing that? Before he would stop forgetting that this Roy and the one he had left were not the same man?

"Your hair's longer," Roy said, plucking his hair clip from where Ed had set it on the counter.

Ed shrugged. "I never really bothered to cut it," he said, pulling his hair over his shoulder to braid it. Not much he could do about it being crooked now, he supposed. Even if it was a hassle, he no longer had any desire to cut it.

Once he was finished, he held out his hand for the clip, which Roy passed over. "What is that, anyway?"

"Clip for my hair," Ed said shortly, feeling uncomfortable as he affixed it around the tip of his braid and let it fall over his shoulder. "It was...uh, a gift. Anyway," he said hurriedly, hoping to derail that line of questioning, "do you have any coffee? This is going to be a long story."

Roy nodded and rose, quickly set the coffee brewing, and reclaimed his seat. "All right, Fullmetal. Enough stalling. Talk."

Edward Elric took a deep breath, and did.

* * *

The story took longer to tell than Edward thought, mostly because Roy kept stopping him and asking questions about inane things like airplanes. All said, he seemed to be taking the story more or less in stride, though Ed supposed he really shouldn't be surprised. Roy seemed to have developed an immunity to being surprised by anything that happened to Ed. Even he had to admit that he seemed to be a magnet for cosmic strangeness. 

Of course, he hadn't gotten to the part about Roy yet. The other Roy, that was. He suspected even General "Nothing you do surprises me anymore, Fullmetal" Mustang would probably be a bit thrown off by that. Ed didn't care who you were, finding out you had some sort of alternate dimension doppelganger was a strange experience.

Well, here goes nothing, Ed thought, taking a deep breath. "After I left New York, I er...met someone. On the train to Boston. He was the one who helped me get home." Roy said nothing, merely raised an eyebrow, waiting for further explanation. Ed sighed. "His name was Roy Mustang."

A second brow raised to join the first, making a good effort at crawling off the man's face altogether. "My name?"

Ed shook his head, wondering exactly how to explain it. "Not just your name. He _was_ you. Sort of. That world's version of you at any rate. He was...a lot like you, I guess, but different at he same time. Even so, it took me months to get used to it."

Edward held out his cup for a refill and Roy silently complied. He felt nervous and slightly guilty, like he had done something he shouldn't have. It was stupid, he decided. He had nothing to be guilty about. Similarities aside, they were_ not_ the same man. He took a long drink before continuing. "I'm getting ahead of myself though. I met him on the train, and I wound up telling him most of my story, though I'm not really sure why. I don't think he believed me at first, but he was curious. He offered to let me stay with him, and since I hoped that maybe he could help me, I did."

There was a faint clinking as he tapped his automail against the mug, considering. "I wound up living with him for five months. I told you alchemy didn't work on that world, right? Well, for him, it did. I think the connection between the two of you was the reason for that."All those years of chasing scientific research, and alchemy turned out to be the solution in the end anyway. "Eventually, we managed to make contact." Ed smiled slightly, remembering Roy's face. "I think finding himself in your head staring at Hawkeye was what did it. Made him really believe me, I mean."

"Wait a minute," Roy said, holding up a hand. "In my _head?_"

"Er, yeah." Ed shot him an apologetic smile and shrugged. "We were trying to contact you, trying to find some way to use that connection to send me back, but it took us months to figure out how to do more than just hitchhike. He couldn't read your mind or anything," Ed hastened to assure him, then paused. "At least, I don't think he could. He never said anything if he did. Anyway, in the end we figured out how to show you the array we needed, and here I am."

There, that could have been worse. He hadn't even babbled. Much. Roy was silent for a long moment, absorbing what he had been told. At length, he sighed, shaking his head. "I can honestly say I wasn't expecting that." He paused for a moment, then said, "That's why you keep calling me Roy, isn't it?"

Ed blanched. "Um. Yeah. He got so pissy when I called him Mustang that he kinda threatened me with death if I didn't start calling him Roy," he sighed. "Sorry. I'll have to get un-used to it."

He was slightly startled when Mustang chuckled. "You don't have apologize, after all, it _is _my name. I'm just not used to hearing it from you, Fullmetal."

"Ed," he said suddenly, looking up from his cup. The fact that the general kept calling him Fullmetal bothered the hell out of him for some reason. "I'm not the Fullmetal Alchemist anymore. I'm just Edward Elric. So just call me Ed, okay?"

Roy blinked, seeming a bit taken aback, them smiled slightly. "Of course, Ed. I suppose that makes sense, considering the Fullmetal Alchemist had a lovely little funeral years ago."

Edward gaped. A funeral!? "You _buried _me?" he screeched, offended. For crying out loud, didn't anyone have a little faith in him? If there was no body, then obviously he wasn't dead.

Apparently the military did not agree. Roy's smile stretched into a smirk and he nodded amiably. "About six months after you disappeared you were declared dead. It was all quite nice, actually. I think you would have liked it. I can show you your grave if you want."

Ed stared at him. That was just beyond morbid, even if he was a little curious. After all, how many people got to see their own grave? "Well, I'm not dead!" he groused, crossing his arms petulantly.

"Thank you for clearing that up," came the dry reply.

Grumbling, Ed finished off his coffee. "So, did you know this was going to happen?" Roy asked, gesturing between the two of them.

"What? Oh! You mean did I know I was going to get zapped every time you took two steps in the wrong direction?" Ed asked irritably. "No. Though, everything I was doing with Roy was experimentation, so I guess it could just be an unforeseen side effect." A thought occurred to him and he cringed. "This better well not be fucking permanent."

Edward let his head fall to the counter with a loud thump. "How the hell am I supposed to go home to Al now?" he mourned. He really hadn't expected to be trapped with the general. On top of the man making him feel generally awkward after everything that had...happened, it meant Ed couldn't go home until he figured out how to un-stick them. Worse, he had never heard of a situation like theirs before, which meant he had no idea where to start.

The whole situation sucked.

A lot.

Blowing out an annoyed breath, Ed lifted his head, eyes landing on the journal lying innocently on the counter. Oh, right. He hadn't told Roy about that yet. Picking up the leather-bound book, he turned it over in his hands with a sigh, fingers tracing over the spine. Part of him didn't want to give up the last piece of the man who had written it, but he could hardly go against his wishes. He thrust the book out at Roy, who blinked and looked at him in surprise. "Take it," Ed commanded, waving it in his face. "It was his journal. He wanted me to give it to you."

The general looked intrigued as he took the book from Edward. "Why?"

Ed shrugged, not particularly wanting to talk about it. "He said he wanted to share something of himself with you."

Roy nodded slowly, opening the book. A folded piece of paper slipped out, and Roy was already opening it before Ed realized what it was. He reached out to take it, but Roy snatched it away from him. "That's mine!" Ed snapped, feeling himself blush and scowling. "I forgot to take it out."

For the second time that day, the general's eyebrows threatened to crawl off of his face, and Edward suddenly wished the ground would open up and swallow him whole. "That's him?"

"Yeah," Ed said sourly, reaching out to take the picture only to have it pulled out of his reach again. "Would you just give me the damn thing!?" he snarled.

Edward knew his reaction was more than a little incriminating, but he didn't care. It felt like his face was on fire, he wanted his picture back, and he wanted to slap that fucking smirk off of Mustang's face. "How...domestic," he said after a moment, his visible eye dancing with amusement at Ed's reaction.

"I was tired, okay!?" he bellowed, finally succeeding in snatching back the picture. Ed quickly folded it and stuffed it in the bag that contained the rest of his possessions.

He was trying to think up a valid excuse to go somewhere, anywhere else, when Roy said, "I've seen him before."

Ed forgot his embarrassment. "What?"

Roy sighed, closing his eye and leaning back, brows furrowed in a slight frown. "I saw him when I activated the array but I'd forgotten about it until now. It was all rather like a dream, it didn't feel quite real." He opened his eye, pinning Edward with a look that made him want to squirm. "He asked me to take care of you."

"He would," Ed grumbled, rolling his eyes. Stupid sentimental sap, giving the general even more fodder to tease him with. Though, it made him feel a little warm inside that the man had tried to make sure he was looked after, even if Ed hardly needed it. He looked at Roy, who was giving him the strangest look, and decided it was time to move away from dangerous topics. "I want to call Al!" he announced loudly. Ed was more than a little pissed that he wouldn't be able to surprise his brother. He had looked forward to showing up on his doorstep. The look on his face would have been priceless.

Mustang took the sudden change of topic in stride. "I was wondering when you were going to ask," he said, getting to his feet. "Come on."

Ed followed Roy out into the den, where a telephone perched on the desk. The general waved at it. "Go ahead. I'll be out front if you need me."

"Wait!" Ed said, an idea dawning on him. He grinned. Maybe he'd still get to surprise his brother after all. "I want you to do a favor for me."

* * *

Alphonse was bored. 

He sighed, resting his chin on his hand and peering out the window. He absently watched the snow swirling around for a few minutes before turning his attention back to Winry. She sat on the floor amidst a minefield of automail parts, a screwdriver hanging out of her mouth and her brow creased in concentration, working on the replacement arm for Aver Hendrick, who, while out drinking with his buddies had actually managed to _lose _the first one.

Mr. Hendrick was still a little scared of Winry after the lecture she had given him, punctuated by flying tools. Al winced in sympathy. Being on the wrong end of Winry's rage was bad enough, but when you weren't used to it, it could be downright terrifying. The girl was like a force of nature when it came to her automail, something frightening and powerful that could not be reasoned with. All you could do was run for cover and hope you survived.

Winry was putting the final touches on the arm, but he knew it would still be several hours before she was finished. She was nothing if not a perfectionist.

Unfortunately, this left Alphonse at a bit of a loss. There were no books in the house he hadn't already read, and he had accidentally forgotten the new ones he'd picked up in Central on his last visit. Maybe Auntie Pinako would be up for a game of chess. He was about to heave himself out of his chair and find her to ask when the phone rang, startling him.

Winry didn't even twitch. "Grab that, would you Al?" she asked around the screwdriver, not looking up.

Al complied, picking up the receiver and pressing it to his ear. "Rockbell residence," he said politely.

"Alphonse?" came the voice on the other side.

It took him a moment to place the voice. "General Mustang?" he asked in surprise. Why would the General be calling him? "Oh! If this is about those books I left, Major Hawkeye already put them away for me."

"Actually, no. I called to ask a favor. One moment." The sound from the other side suddenly became muffled, as though he had put a hand over the phone. He could still hear his voice though. "Would you stop? Oh, for the love of-- Do you want me to hang up?" A pause. "I didn't think so, so stop climbing all over me!" There were some more strange noises, and suddenly the general was back. "Sorry about that, Alphonse. My cat is being a pest."

Why would his cat care if he hung up the phone or not? Al wondered, but all he said was, "That's okay General. What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if you would and Winry would be willing to make an emergency trip to Central? I'll pay for the tickets of course."

Emergency? "Did something happen?" Al asked, alarmed.

"Everything is fine, Al," the general assured him. "I can't discuss it over the phone, but it is rather important. I'd also like Miss Rockbell to bring her tools, if that wouldn't be too much trouble."

Her tools? But that would mean the general would need automail. Al's eyes widened. Could he have gotten hurt somehow? He almost asked, but stopped himself when he realized the general had already said he couldn't discuss it. "Of course! We'll be there as soon as possible!"

"Thank you, Alphonse. I'll see you when you get here." The phone disconnected with a click, and Al set it back down slowly.

"What was that all about?" Winry asked. When Al didn't immediately reply, she looked up with a frown. "Al?"

"Something happened to General Mustang," he said at length. It was really the only explanation. "He wouldn't tell me much, but...I think he needs automail."

* * *

Roy settled down on his sofa with a weary sigh. Edward was already asleep again, not quite recovered yet, and Roy finally had the time to think about what the other alchemist had told him. 

Another world. Another _him. _It was nearly impossible to wrap his head around, but he knew that Ed wouldn't lie. Besides, he had seen the other Roy himself, hadn't he? If that wasn't proof, what was? It was all a bit disconcerting, really. That he was connected on some level to a stranger who wasn't quite a stranger at all, living in a world far removed from the one he knew.

He looked down at the simple leather-bound book in his hands. Inside were the writings of a man Roy wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know. It was more than a little cowardly, really. Despite the fact that Ed avoided the subject, it was clear the short alchemist thought highly of this other Roy. The fact that he had helped Edward instead of writing him off as mad said something about his character.

Perhaps it was fear. Fear that the man who wrote the journal he held was no different than he, a copy, proof that Roy Mustang wasn't unique, that who he was had nothing to do with his own choices. Though, Edward had said they weren't quite the same, hadn't he? Roy made a face, annoyed with himself. All this agonizing over a stupid little book was pathetic.

Flipping it open to the first page, Roy recognized the familiar scrawl as Ed's. He had seen enough reports pass over his desk in that nearly illegible handwriting to know it when he saw it. It was a note, a thank you for everything the man had done for him. Roy read it again, surprised. The journal had been a gift from Edward to the other Roy. That was unexpected.

He turned the page, this one filled with neat, precise script. He stared at the page for a moment, not reading the words written there. The handwriting was nothing like his, he realized, that small revelation a relief. Perhaps his worries were unfounded, Roy thought as he settled into a more comfortable position and began to read.

_December 26th, 1926_

_Colonel Roy Mustang._

_It is strange to write those words. I can't quite picture myself a military man, so seeing a rank in front of my own name is a little...odd, to say the least._

_I have no way of knowing if this journal will ever reach you, but I want to write it regardless. Perhaps I need to. Even if we never do succeed in getting Edward home, I feel this won't be a wasted effort, though I like to think it will rest in your hands one day. I'm afraid I really don't know what to think of you. Part of me is curious, part of me disturbed. It isn't every day a man learns he is not the only version of himself in the universe, after all. _

_I suppose all I really want is for you to understand me._

_I also suspect getting a coherent story out of Ed after all is said and done will be nearly impossible, so I thought I'd save you the trouble. _

_It was a cold afternoon on October 9th, 1926 when I first met him on the train from New York to Boston..._


	8. Loss

A/N: Chapter 8! A bit filler-ish, I apologize, but from here on out, I'm back to my weekly updates!

Also! I GOT FANART! My first fanart ever. ::loves it to bits:: It's lovely, based off the end of chapter five. If you want to see it, it's on my livejournal (linked from my profile), on the December 2nd entry. So wonderful. ; ;

Much love to my readers!

::Chapter 8::

::Loss::

_December 29th, 1926_

_I thought I'd take a moment to stop and write, though I've really been doing nothing but the last few days. _

_I'm watching Edward and Kara playing outside as I write this. He's helping her build a snowman. Or rather, he would be, if he didn't keep pushing her over in the snow every few minutes. We were supposed to go up to the workroom and try a few new arrays, but wonder of wonders, I think he actually forgot. I'm certainly not going to remind him. The work isn't going anywhere, and Ed doesn't spend nearly enough time having fun. He's dedicated and driven and utterly devoted to going home to his brother, but these things often leave little room for him to enjoy life. There is such a thing as working too hard, but that is part of what makes Edward Edward, and I wouldn't change it for the world._

_Still, I wish there were more moments like this. I love seeing him smile._

"I remember that day," came a drowsy voice near his shoulder.

Roy started and snapped the journal shut, a rush of guilt making him feel like he had been caught doing something he shouldn't have. Ed gave him a strange look and straightened up, stretching. Roy pushed the irrational feeling away and leaned back, looking up at the blond. "I didn't expect you up so early. How are you feeling?"

The question earned him a faint smile. "Almost human. Passing through the gate the first time didn't kick my ass like this though," he added with a grumble.

"Well, you went about it a different way this time," Roy pointed out reasonably, reluctantly setting the journal on the table. He had hoped to have more time to read. It was fascinating, really, and once he had gotten past his trepidation, Roy had found himself genuinely curious. Ah well. There would always be time for it later.

Ed's only response was a wide yawn as he came around the chair and flopped onto the couch. He reached out and snatched Roy's coffee cup from the table. Roy blinked in surprise and was about to snatch it back when the look on Edward's face stopped him. The cup had frozen halfway to his lips, and Ed was giving it the strangest look. Golden eyes moved from the cup to Roy's face, and he was struck by how _sad _they were. Before he could ask what was wrong, the look was gone and Ed slowly put the cup back onto the table. "Sorry," he mumbled, getting to his feet and vanishing back upstairs.

Roy looked from the stairs, to his coffee cup, and back again. What was that all about? It wasn't first time he had caught Edward doing something that gave him pause, though he wasn't sure why seemingly innocent actions were bothering the other alchemist. Though, Edward had been through quite the ordeal these past years, and Roy suspected that he hadn't been told the whole story. Not by a long shot.

Picking up his cup and getting to his feet, Roy went into the kitchen. Ed the cat was snoozing happily on one of the stools and Roy gave her a quick scratch on the head as he passed. He drained his cup and dumped it in the sink along with the dishes from the day before. Maybe he'd have Ed wash them, he thought absently, pulling out the leftover takeout they'd had for dinner the night before. Make him earn his keep now that he was feeling better.

He opened the takeout box and stared at the contents for a moment before thinking better of it and exchanging the box for eggs. Chicken wasn't really for breakfast, anyway. He'd already eaten, but he figured Ed was probably hungry. Roy fished out a pan and cracked an egg into it, leaving it to cook while he put two slices of bread on to toast. He really needed to go out and do some food shopping today. Ed might not eat quite as much now as he used to, but he still consumed enough for a small army, and Roy would go broke on takeout at that rate.

How did Ed like his eggs fried, anyway? Better to err on the side of caution, Roy decided and popped the yolk, flipping the egg and letting it cook through. Most likely drawn by the smell of food, Edward reappeared, this time showered and dressed. He seemed oddly subdued, nodding at Roy as he settled down on one of the stools. The cat perked up at his arrival, transferring from the empty stool to his lap, purring when he began to stoke her absently. Roy shook his head in amusement as he made a sandwich of the egg and toast. She had certainly taken quickly enough to her namesake.

Roy poured a cup of coffee, passing it and the plate over to Ed, who took them with a quiet "thank you" and put another egg on. One probably wouldn't be enough for the other alchemist. He stared down at the egg sizzling in the pan and listened to the sounds of Edward eating. It was strange how normal it all seemed. Well, perhaps normal wasn't quite right. Edward appearing out of thin air after five years and being chained to him by some sort of invisible force was hardly _normal. _Then again, the unusual and bizarre was often the norm where Edward Elric was concerned.

No. Normal wasn't the word for it. Still, Edward had only been back for two days, and already it seemed as though he had never left in some ways. Roy finished the second sandwich and passed it over to Edward just as the blond finished the first one, receiving a small smile in thanks. Roy settled down across from Ed, watching him eat. Sometimes happy, sometimes sad. The blond had gone through more mood swings than a pregnant woman the last few days, like he couldn't quite decide how he really felt. Roy wondered what Ed had left behind in that world that he was so torn over. He did his best to hide it, but the short alchemist had never been very good at hiding his emotions. He wore his heart on his sleeve for the world to see.

"Sorry about the eggs again," he said after a moment. "We can go out and pick up some food later."

Edward finished his second sandwich. "It's okay. I'm surprised you can cook at all, actually." As soon as the words were out of his mouth he flinched, dropping his gaze guiltily.

Roy blinked. What was that look for? "I'm no chef, but I can throw together a thing or two without giving anyone food poisoning," he said easily. "Why are you surprised?"

Ed sighed heavily. "Sorry. I just...well, _he _couldn't cook." Roy didn't have to ask who "he" was. Edward seemed reluctant to talk about the other Roy at all, and when he did, he tried to avoid calling him by name. "At all. In fact, him just standing in a kitchen could make all sorts of unfortunate things happen." Ed smiled slightly. "Liam finally banned him from the kitchen entirely after he nearly burned the house down."

That explained the guilty look. Ed was trying very hard not to compare him to the other Roy, and he appreciated that. "Yes, well, at some point I decided I was tired of my own bad cooking and figured it was time to learn."

"Liam taught me more about cooking than I ever wanted to learn." Ed let out a gusty sigh. "I miss Liam," he said wistfully. "He fed me."

It seemed Edward's aversion to talking about the other Roy did not extend to others he had met there. Interesting, that. "Well," Roy said, picking up the plate and adding it to the growing pile of dishes. "Since he taught you so much, _you_ can do the cooking once I pick up some supplies."

He had expected a protest, and was surprised when he received none. Ed just cocked his head thoughtfully for a moment before he nodded. "Fair enough." He must have noticed Roy's surprised look, because he added, "Equivalent exchange, right? I'm sleeping in your house and messing up your routine, the least I can do is cook."

Roy was pleasantly surprised by the easy compliance, and no little curious as to just how well Ed could cook. "If I can just get you to clean, you'll have the housewife routine down pat." Roy grinned at the outraged roar the comment earned him. He had certainly missed baiting the other alchemist, even if it wasn't quite as easy as it had once been.

Today was shaping up to be a good day.

* * *

"You want me to be your _what?_" Ed squawked, certain he could not have possibly heard correctly. 

Roy let out a long-suffering sigh, rolling his eye heavenward. "Bodyguard," he repeated patiently. "And no," he said, before Ed could interrupt, "I don't mean it literally. That's just what we're going to tell parliament you are so they won't flip me shit about me taking my leave right now."

"And why, exactly, should I let you use me so you can get a vacation?" Ed demanded. Stupid bastard. The last thing he wanted to do was announce to the government that he was back. He wanted peace and quiet, not a string of questions he couldn't answer. Those bureaucratic bastards could go right on thinking he was dead for all he cared.

Roy shrugged, manner deceptively mild. "If you'd rather be stuck following me to work every day, by all means. It doesn't matter to me."

Edward scowled. He hadn't thought of that. Researching a way to fix his problem wouldn't be easy if he had to trail after Mustang like a dog on a leash while the man went about his duties. "Fine," he growled, annoyed at the universe in general at that moment. "You can tell parliament whatever you want. Wait," he frowned, realizing something wasn't quite right. "What do they have to do with military leave?"

The general looked momentarily baffled. "The military no longer runs things, Ed. Parliament does that now. The position of Fuhrer was abolished."

Ed blinked. Well. He certainly hadn't expected that, though he highly approved. A military government was just a stupid no matter how you sliced it. "At least they finally did something right," he muttered. "Fine then, I don't care."

Mustang looked pleased, which made Ed kind of want to hit him. Smug bastard. "I was hoping you could help me come up with an official explanation for your absence. I don't think anyone needs to know about this other world of yours."

He was right about that, now that Ed thought about it. The fewer people who knew, the better. Though, how he was supposed to explain vanishing completely for five years, he wasn't sure. "Tell 'em I met a nice girl from Xing, but things didn't work out so I came home."

That earned him a chuckle. "You know, I just might," he said with a grin. "State Alchemists are completely separate from the military these days, so it isn't as though you could get in trouble for deserting. Besides, it's just so...simple, they'd have to believe it."

Ed rolled his eyes, about to whine about not wanting to go, then paused and shut his mouth. If Roy had to go, so did he. Damn, but this was going to get annoying real quick. "When is Hawkeye coming?" he asked instead.

"She should be here in a half hour or so."

Ed grumbled. He really, really just wanted to go back to Rizembool and forget everything that had happened to him. He sighed. Forgetting would be so much easier. Part of him thought Al was lucky to be spared his memories. "Tell me about Al," he said suddenly. He hadn't really had the chance to ask about him yet, aside from discovering that he was alive and whole, and listening to his brother's voice when the general had called him.

Mustang put a gloved finger to his lips, considering. He was in full uniform for the meeting at parliament today. "I already told you that he forgot everything after you and he attempted to transmute your mother. He went to train with your old teacher for a while if I recall, and then he did a considerable amount of traveling. I remember the day he turned up in my office," Roy smiled slightly. "Nervous as anything, but determined to talk to me regardless. He was dressed like you, you know. The clothes were yours, I think he wore them to feel a little closer to his missing brother."

Guilt assaulted him, and Ed sighed. He knew that Al wouldn't blame him for anything, it wasn't in his nature, but Edward felt terrible that he had left him alone for so long. Waiting the few days it would take Al to arrive in Central would be torture. "What did you tell him?"

"Anything he wanted to know," Roy said. "How could I not? I glossed over the worst of it of course, but I told him most everything I knew. He was determined to find you, Ed. Still is. He spends the winters in Rizembool, but the rest of the year he is everywhere else, looking for some sign, some clue as to what happened to you."

Edward sighed. He had given his brother his life back, and Al somehow still managed to spend it living out of a train. Hold on. Edward frowned, furrowing his brows slightly. Something wasn't adding up. "Where does he get the money for it?" he asked, glaring at Roy in suspicion. If that bastard had let Al become a State Alchemist, Ed would rip his liver out.

"Private funding," Roy said, a ghost of a smile on his lips, eye dancing.

It took Edward a moment to realize what he meant. "You?" he asked, jaw dropping slightly.

Roy shrugged, obviously enjoying his surprise. "Being a general brings in a big paycheck. I only use what I need, the rest goes to Al."

Ed was completely floored. He had a sudden and disturbing urge to hug the bastard, but managed to refrain. "Thanks," he said after a moment. "For looking after him."

"I wish I could do more," Roy said, absently smoothing his uniform. "Though I suppose it doesn't matter now that you're back, does it?"

"It matters," Ed said forcefully. It mattered that Roy had taken it upon himself to look after Al the best he could when Ed wasn't there to do it himself. Roy shot him a grateful smile.

They were interrupted by a knock on the door. Roy stood to answer it, Ed trailing after. Hawkeye snapped a sharp salute when Roy pulled the door open, her eyes drifting to Ed over his shoulder. "I'm glad to see everything fits," she said with a smile.

He grinned at her. "It does. I appreciate you picking stuff up for me. I'll pay you back for it as soon as I can."

She waved a hand dismissively. "Don't worry about it. If nothing else, consider them a welcome home present. Are you gentlemen ready?"

Roy stepped aside, waving Ed through the door, and Ed complied, trudging down the walk after Hawkeye and resigning himself to a boring day.

* * *

Ed stared out the window in disinterest, watching the scenery fly by with a bored stare. The meeting at parliament had been exceedingly dull, the general fielding any awkward questions with practiced ease, and Ed was looking forward to a nice nap when they got back to Mustang's. He blinked, sitting up a little straighter and peering out the window with a frown. This wasn't the way back, and come to think of it, the drive hadn't taken that long before, either. "Where are we going?" 

Roy looked at him in the rearview mirror and Ed made a face. He didn't know why _he _had to sit in the back both ways. He wasn't a kid for crying out loud, and he was fairly certain Mustang would appreciate being chauffeured around. In fact, he was pretty sure he had seen just that before. The bastard was just being contrary. "I've got one more stop to make, then we'll go home."

Edward just sighed and turned his attention back outside. It wasn't much longer before the car came to a stop in front of a...pub? Ed stared. Oh, for fuck's sake. Mustang better not expect him to sit around and wait while he got trashed and flirted with cocktail waitresses. He growled. He'd sooner sit out in the snow all night. "Mustang..." he ground out, about to tear the man a new one.

It was Hawkeye who spoke, however. "Don't worry, Edward," she said, offering a reassuring smile. "It isn't what you think."

He sighed and got out of the car, breath puffing in the cold air. He supposed she was right. Getting drunk and picking up women wasn't likely to be on the agenda with Hawkeye there. Somehow he doubted she made a good wingman. The thought made him grin as he followed the two of them inside.

It was a nice little place, Ed had to admit. Most everything was made of polished wood, giving the pub a warm sort of feel. It was fairly crowded though, the babble of several different conversations washing over them the moment the door opened. Ed sighed. It might be a nice place, but he really didn't like crowds. Hopefully whatever business they had here would over quickly.

Roy and Hawkeye made their way easily through the press of people and Edward followed behind, still not sure what they were doing in a pub if it wasn't to drink. A familiar voice called out, "General!" and Edward stiffened.

Havoc?

He peered cautiously around Hawkeye, the sight that met him hitting him like a physical blow. There were two tables pushed together, and sitting at that table was...everyone. Havoc, Breda, Fuery, Falman. They hadn't seen him yet, and he took a moment to stare. So many faces he despaired of ever seeing again, all clustered in one place. Edward's feet felt rooted the spot, something in his chest aching terribly. It came crashing down on him all at once then. It was real. This was all _real. _A choked sound left his lips and there was a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to find Mustang looking at him, gaze soft. "If you aren't ready..."

An offer of escape. Ed appreciated the gesture, but shook his head. "I'm okay. It just...it's been so long." Hawkeye stepped aside then, settling down in one of the chairs, and he realized she had hidden him behind her in case he wasn't ready yet.

Fuery was the first to see him. Eyes growing round behind his glasses, he reached out and took a fistful of Havoc's shirt, tugging urgently, never taking his eyes off Ed. Havoc frowned over at him, then followed his gaze to Edward. His jaw dropped, cigarette falling from his lips. "Holy _fuck,_" he swore. He seemed about to say more, but about that time he realized that there was a lit cigarette burning a hole in his thigh and he leaped up with a startled shout, catching the end of the table with his knee and upending it on Falman, drinks and all.

There was a moment of stunned silence, and then Breda _howled. _His laughter broke the spell, and Hawkeye helped Falman to his feet and asked Havoc to help her upright the table, but he didn't seem to hear her. He was staring at Ed. Neither Breda or Falman had noticed him yet, the former too busy laughing his ass off and the latter too absorbed in staring mournfully and his booze-soaked uniform.

Havoc's jaw worked soundlessly for a moment, and finally he managed a strangled, "Boss?"

Ed laughed. He couldn't help it. The situation was just too ridiculous, and twin looks of shock Fuery and Havoc wore were priceless. The knot of tension in his belly dissipated as he grinned and said, "Hey."

The greeting seemed to snap Fuery out of his state of dazed shock and he leaped over the table with a shout. "ED!" He barreled into the blond, wrapping his arms around him in a delighted hug, nearly strangling him in the process. His cheeks were suspiciously red, and Ed suspected he'd had a few too many already, but he grinned and hugged him back, warmed by the excited welcome.

Fuery's shout finally alerted Breda and Falman to just what was happening, and suddenly Ed was swarmed, voices babbling questions at him and enduring friendly thumps on the back, being passed around like a rag doll while they hugged him and shook him and demanded to know if this was some sort of joke. Ed took it all with a good-humored grin, though he was relieved when they finally allowed him to slump into one of the chairs around the righted table.

Havoc vanished for a moment and returned with another round of drinks, depositing one of these in front of Edward. He wasn't entirely sure what the amber liquid was, and took a cautious sip, nearly choking as it burned down his throat like liquid fire. Was Havoc_ trying _to kill him?

He spent the next several hours trading questions with the group. Where had he been? Long story. Was he back to stay? Yes. Had he gotten laid yet? Havoc! He had to admit, he was enjoying himself immensely, and it felt good to be so welcomed. They had genuinely missed him. After a while the conversation drifted off to other things, and Ed welcomed the respite.

He sat back, watching the light filter through the amber liquid in his half-empty glass. It was his third so far, and while Ed still wasn't sure what it was, it seemed to taste better the more he drank. He looked up, catching Mustang in the middle of a drinking contest with Breda and smiled slightly. Roy caught him looking and winked, the gesture causing his chest to tighten painfully.

Ed dropped his eyes back to his glass with a sigh, taking another drink. When would the smallest, most innocent gestures stop making him think of the Roy he had left behind? When would he stop looking at the general and wishing he was someone else? How many more times would he slip and call him Roy, or ask him to braid his hair or steal his coffee? It wasn't fair to treat the general that way. This Roy Mustang wasn't the one he wanted, but he found that so easy to forget sometimes that it frightened him.

The one he wanted.

Ed had avoided thinking about it. Avoided thinking about what had happened before he left, about what Roy had said. It was easier to pretend it hadn't happened, but suddenly the thoughts were clamoring in his mind, demanding to be heard. He stared sourly at the cup in his hand and took another drink. He blamed it on the alcohol.

Ed missed him. He felt terribly, painfully hollow, and guilty because of it. He wanted Roy back, the need so strong is was a nearly physical ache, and Edward snarled inwardly. How selfish could he be? After everything that Roy had done to help him get home, now he was whining that it wasn't good enough, even if it was just in his own head. Can't have everything, he reminded himself. His brother or Roy. It really was a no-brainer, no matter how he felt about the man.

Something twisted in his gut. What exactly_ did_ he feel? Ed glared at his glass and downed the rest. The stuff was making him crazy. He didn't really feel like...that. He didn't. It was the alcohol making him feel all floopy and confused. Ed sighed.

"Edward."

He blinked and looked up to find Hawkeye standing over him. Why couldn't you want someone like her? a pissy part of his mind demanded. Ed told it to shut the hell up. "Yeah?"

"Would you come with me for a second?" she asked, nodding towards to bar.

Probably wanted help getting the next round. Ed got to his feet, weaving slightly as he followed her. He never did have much of a head for alcohol. Not quite drunk, but he was certainly well on his way. Ed reminded himself to kick Havoc in the shin later for making him drink that crap. Hawkeye took a seat at the end of the bar and motioned Ed to take the one beside her. "What's wrong?" she asked.

Edward blinked at her and then ducked his head, staring at the polished wood grain of the bar top. He knew what she meant. Ed didn't think it was so obvious that he was brooding, but well, she was a sharp woman. He was saved an immediate answer when the bartender came over. She ordered juice for herself and coffee for Ed. The bartender returned shortly with the drinks and Ed wrapped gloved hands around the warm mug. Hawkeye looked at him expectantly. "Nothing I can do anything about," he said at length.

"Maybe it would help to talk about it?"

Edward looked at her then, into concerned eyes, and suddenly he did want to talk about it. Very badly. "Did he tell you," Ed asked hesitantly, "what happened?"

"Yes."

Ed nodded, taking a deep breath. He expected as much. Mustang had asked Ed's permission, and he hadn't seen any reason to say no. Hawkeye could keep a secret, he knew that. "Will you promise not to tell anyone about it? It's kinda personal."

"Whatever you say stays between you and me," she told him firmly.

Edward gathered his courage and told her, all of his confusion and doubts spilling from his lips in a cathartic rush, leaving him drained, heartsore, and better than he had felt in days. "Then I came back," he finished quietly. He let out a shaky sigh and closed his eyes, surprised to feel a tear slide down his cheek. His vision blurred and he ducked his head, willing the tears to go away.

A warm hand touched his back and Hawkeye eased him off the stool and led him towards the door. Edward kept his head down, not wanting anyone to see him in the state he was in, taking deep, unsteady breaths and trying to get a hold of himself. He silently swore never to drink again as the door creaked and he was hit by a blast of cold air. Hawkeye took him around the side of the building and gently wrapped her arms around his shoulders, drawing him close. "It's okay," she told him. "Let go."

Those words crumbled the last of his defenses and Edward buried his face in her shoulder and cried. Everything he had been holding at bay since he had returned came spilling out of him. She stroked his back, murmuring comforting nonsense against his hair, and Edward was distantly grateful that if he had to break down in front of anyone like this, that it was Hawkeye. She wouldn't judge him over a moment of weakness.

It wasn't long until the tears began to slow and stop, and he stopped shaking. She held him for a moment longer and then pushed back a little, offering him a handkerchief that he took gratefully. "I'm sorry about that," he mumbled, embarrassed.

"Don't be," she told him. "We all need to cry sometimes, it isn't anything to be ashamed of. When is Alphonse supposed to arrive?"

Edward returned the handkerchief and took a shuddering breath, trying to stabilize his rampant emotions. "Two days." It seemed like forever.

Hawkeye caught his chin, forcing him to meet her eyes. "I think you should talk to him about this," she said firmly. "I want you to promise me that you will."

He was surprised by her insistence, but nodded. He doubted he'd be able to keep something like this from Al anyway. He had a truly uncanny ability to know when something was bothering his older brother, even when Edward did his best to hide it. "I will," he promised.

She nodded. "Good. Do you think you're ready to go back inside? We can stay out here a little longer if you'd like."

Edward felt tired, drained, and more than a little embarrassed. Unfortunately, he didn't have much choice but to stay until Roy was ready to leave. "I'm fine now," he assured her, wiping at his eyes with his sleeve. He knew they were probably red, but hopefully that could be explained away by the alcohol.

He followed her back inside and managed to survive the remainder of the night by refusing further offers of drinks and not thinking too much.

* * *

Riza watched as Ed helped the thoroughly inebriated General up the walk. She had offered to assist him, but he had waved it off with a quick smile before grumbling about a certain someone drinking too much. They reached the door easily enough, but there they stopped. After a moment Edward propped Roy up against the door and began rifling through the general's pockets and Riza frowned, wondering what he was doing. A moment later Edward produced a set of keys with a flourish, turning and waving at her. She returned the wave and watched until Ed managed to maneuver the bigger man inside, the door closing behind them. 

Riza turned the key in the ignition, the car rumbling to life beneath her, but she didn't drive off, instead leaning against the steering wheel and staring out into the darkened street. Edward shouldn't be staying with the general, not considering the shambles of his emotional state. Not considering the reason. Perhaps earlier was nothing to be concerned over, perhaps it was just the result of too much to drink and being overwhelmed by seeing everyone again, but she didn't think so. Riza knew love when she saw it, even if Edward wasn't completely aware of it himself.

No, staying with the general was not a good idea. It was too soon, Edward was still too raw, and being forced to see the double of the man you had loved and lost every day couldn't be good for anyone. Unfortunately, there wasn't much she could do about it until a way was found to reverse the strange circumstances the two found themselves in.

Maybe...Riza tapped her thumb against the wheel thoughtfully. She was no alchemist, but she had grown up around it; she understood the principles well enough. Another hand researching a fix certainly couldn't hurt. Edward needed the freedom to go home, needed some space to come to terms with everything that had happened. Riza would do what she could to help him.

That decided, she pulled out into the darkness. Tomorrow was her day off, but she had a great deal to do regardless.


	9. Reunion

A/N: Well, I certainly know how to make a liar out of myself, don't I? Guess I wasn't back to my weekly updates, and I won't make any promises this time either, since I don't want to jinx myself. ;)

Much love to all my reviewers, and a special thanks to Staehli (Fae Elric) for being my beta. Who also, by the way, wrote a lovely Alter!Roy ficlet called The Letter. Go read it and give it love! You can find it in my favorite stories list.

Also got another piece of fanart! This one is from Lina, you can see it here (with spaces removed): http:// www. deviantart. com/ deviation/ 45119599/

::Chapter 9::

::Reunion::

_January 1st, 1927_

_A new year. A time for change, resolution and new beginnings. I managed to convince Ed to come out with me for the evening, to enjoy the celebrations around the city. He was reluctant at first, but a little cajoling won him over. We spent most of the evening wandering from place to place. I daresay he enjoyed himself, and he certainly drank too much. _

_Getting him home was an adventure in itself. I lost a snowball fight, which I can only hope Edward doesn't remember in the morning because I fear I'll never hear the end of it otherwise. I had to pull him out of two snowdrifts, catch him at least six times when he tried to take a tumble on the ice, and break up one fight with very drunk fellow who seemed rather insistent on taking Edward home. I haven't had so much fun in ages!_

_When we got home I had Ed change out of his wet clothes, and he promptly curled up in a chair a dozed off. He looks so young when he sleeps, almost childlike. I hate to disturb him, but I probably should probably take him to bed, otherwise he'll regret having slept in a chair come morning. The hangover will be bad enough, I suspect._

_I'll write more in the morning._

* * *

Edward squinted at the book in his hands, trying to get the words to stop running together and start making sense. Heaving a frustrated sigh, he flopped around in the overstuffed armchair, changing position for the fifth time in as many minutes, throwing his leg over one arm and resting his head against the other. Rubbing his eyes, Ed glared at the book for a few seconds, hoping maybe it would decide to read itself. When no such thing was forthcoming, he grumbled and started reading again.

_-In the case of the Farseeing Alchemist, Coren Drake, the effect was unprecedented. He accomplished in days what alchemists had-_

Ed slammed the book shut with a growl. The thing was nothing more than a history book and certainly wasn't going to do them any good. Any alchemist could tell you about Coren Drake, the man was a genius, had revolutionized modern alchemy, but he was also dead and hadn't done anything that would help him solve this problem. "What time is it?" Ed asked, dropping the book into the steadily growing pile of rejects.

"Five minutes later than it was last time you asked, Ed," Roy replied, a hint of irritation in his voice as he set the report he was reading back on his desk and looked up. "Alphonse should be coming in on the evening train, and constantly asking the time isn't going to make it pass any faster. He'll get here when he gets here."

"Well excuse me for being a little anxious when I haven't seen my brother in _five years,_" Ed snapped. "What the hell are you doing anyway? I'm not the only one effected by this you know, you could help me research."

The general rolled his visible eye and waved a stack of reports at Ed. "I may be on leave, but I still have a murder investigation to deal with. I'll help you once I'm finished with these." He leaned back in his chair and sighed. "You aren't getting anywhere anyway. Why don't you go find something else to do? Work off some of that nervous energy."

Ed grumbled and stood. There wasn't much he could do stuck as he was, but Mustang was right. There was a good chance he would overlook something important in his state, better that he go find something else to do until Al arrived.

Without a word Ed wandered out of Mustang's study and into the kitchen. He rifled through the cupboards for a few moments before pulling out some bread and leftover ham. Ed sighed, slicing off a piece of ham and munching on it while he fished out the makings for a sandwich. He wished he could focus and get some work done; the wait would pass much more quickly if he was distracted. Unfortunately, he couldn't seem to silence the little voice running circles in his mind screaming, "Al is coming!" long enough to get into anything.

Something bumped against his ankle, and Ed looked down to find the cat twining around his feet. She had an uncanny knack for appearing out of nowhere when there was food to be had. He sliced off a small chunk of ham and dropped it down, watching as she pounced on it, sniffed daintily, and then swallowed it whole. Ed grinned and reached down, giving her a quick pat.

Finishing his sandwich, Ed started to put everything away and then paused, looking over in the direction of the study. Oh hell, why not. He'd been driving Mustang up the wall all morning, the least he could do was feed the man. Ed quickly threw together another monster sandwich and took it to the study, cat trailing behind him in hopes of more ham.

Mustang didn't look up until Ed dropped the plate on his desk. He blinked at the sandwich for a moment, lips stretching in a slow grin. "This thing is as big as my head," he said, quirking an eyebrow at Ed.

Edward snorted. "Don't complain or I won't feed you anymore," he threatened.

Roy threw up his hands in a placating gesture. "I wasn't complaining, merely making an observation. Thanks."

"No problem," Ed shrugged, leaning over the general's desk to get a look at the clock. "Wow. That took up a whole ten minutes." The day was never going to end. Never. Edward mourned the loss of his last shred of sanity, because he was going to go mad long before Alphonse ever arrived. "I'm never going to make it," Ed grumbled. "I'm going to explode, you know," he informed the general's dark head, which was again bowed over his reports. "Boom! Blood and guts and chunks of Ed everywhere."

"Try not to do it on the carpet, will you?"

"Bastard," Ed returned, sticking out his tongue at the general and retreating back to the kitchen to retrieve his own sandwich.

Five more hours. He could survive five more hours.

Really.

* * *

A sudden knock on the door startled Ed so badly he nearly leapt out of his skin. He stared at the door, wide-eyed and frozen, one thought running frantic circles in his mind. Al's here.

"Right on time," Roy said, getting to his feet. He started towards the door, then paused, glancing at Ed who was rooted to the spot, staring at the door as though it might come to life and eat him. "Do you want to get it?" he distantly heard Roy ask.

Ed turned stiffly and looked at the other man, the words not quite making sense. Another knock came, louder this time and snapped Ed out of his strange daze. "Yes! I mean, no! You get it!" he babbled, turning on his heel and racing up the stairs. He slumped against the wall just around the corner and tried to get a grip. It just Al. Yeah, sure, it had been a long time, but in the end, it was just his little brother. No sense in being nervous. Al would be happy to see him, and things could go back to the way they used to be.

Right? Right, of course they would. Ed forced his insecurities to the back of his mind. When Roy opened the door, he'd come down the stairs all nonchalant-like. Yeah. He grinned, imagining the look on Al's face.

"Thanks for coming on such short notice, Alphonse."

Ed froze, heart pounding.

"It was no problem, General."

The reply was bright and cheerful, and the sound of that voice made Edward's heart ache. All thought of insecurity or a dignified entrance vanished. "AL!" Edward roared, tearing around the corner and down the stairs, leaping the last three and charging at a very startled looking Alphonse Elric. He stopped just short of barreling into his brother, skidding to a halt and taking in the sight of him.

He was beautiful, standing there clutching his suitcase and staring at Ed in alarm. Wide, perfect eyes in a perfect face. Flesh. Whole. A little younger than he should have been, but it didn't matter. Al was here, and he was alive, and after five years of wondering and hoping, the evidence was standing before his eyes. "Al," he whispered, reaching out a tentative hand, almost afraid to touch the vision before him, afraid that it might vanish.

Alphonse blinked once, slowly, his expression giving way first to confusion, then to disbelief. The suitcase clattered to the floor, forgotten. "Brother?" he said, voice catching on the word.

Ed grinned, not bothering the fight the tears that sprang to his eyes. "I missed you, Al."

"Brother!" Faster than he could blink, Ed found himself with an arm full of little brother, Al's weight sending them to the floor with a heavy thud. His tailbone throbbed painfully from the sudden impact, but Ed didn't care. He wouldn't have cared if he had shattered every bone in his body, because an armful of Al made it all worth it.

He buried his face in Al's hair and inhaled, drowning in the smell of him, the feel of him. Ed felt fingers fist in his shirt. "I tried to find you," Alphonse choked out, and Edward held him tighter.

"I'm here now," he whispered fiercely, hot tears soaking into the soft hair against his cheek. "I'm not leaving you. Never again."

After that there were no words. They sat for a long time clinging to each other on the general's floor, the silence broken only by the occasional sob. It was surreal and wonderful, and Edward didn't want it to end. He never wanted to let go of Al again. Finally they had come full circle. Finally, they could rest.

A knock on the door broke the spell, and Alphonse started, pulling back slightly so that he could look at his brother, though he didn't relinquish his hold on Ed's shirt. "It's Winry," he said, rubbing the tears from his eyes with his free hand and wiping his nose on his sleeve with a sniffle.

"Winry?" Ed repeated slowly, not quite able to think past Al at the moment. Then it clicked. "Oh! Winry!" He scrubbed his face vigorously, trying to rid himself of the evidence of his tears. "Why wasn't she with you earlier?"

"Forgot one of her tools at home, so she went to pick up a replacement while I came here." Alphonse half-stood, looking from Ed to the door and back again, unwilling to relinquish his hold on his brother long enough open the door. Ed took the hint and got his feet, letting Alphonse pull him over to the door while he opened it.

"It's about time!" Winry huffed, brushing past them and into the house, rubbing gloved hands over her arms. "It's cold out there you know!"

Ed grinned over at Al, who looked a bit incredulous that Winry had just walked right by Ed and not noticed. "Sorry Win," Edward said, not sorry in the slightest. "That was my fault."

Winry threw her hands up and whirled, sticking a finger in Edward's face. "Of course it was Edward! It's always..." She trailed off suddenly, blue eyes growing wide. "Ed?"

"Took you long enough."

"You...you...Oh! Ed!" Winry wailed, launching herself at him, and for the second time in thirty minutes Ed found himself with an armful of sobbing blonde. He patted her back awkwardly with one hand, the other still in Al's possession.

Edward let her cry herself out, muttering reassuring nonsense every now and then. Part of him wished, rather selfishly, that Al had come alone, but he didn't mind that much. He found Al's eyes over Winry's head and smiled. They had time now. All the time in the world, and Ed planned on making use of every bit of it.

"Where have you been?" she asked in a quavering voice, pulling back and looking at Edward with red eyes. "We looked everywhere, but it was like you just...vanished."

Ed gave her hand a pat and gently pried it off his arm, taking a half-step back. "It's a long story..." he trailed off hesitantly. He wasn't sure he wanted to get into it again, but they deserved the truth. Most of it, anyway. Ed remembered his promise to Hawkeye, and he intended to keep it... just not until he could talk to Al alone.

Roy's voice startled him from his thoughts. "I'm sure Alphonse and Miss Rockbell are tired and hungry after their trip." Ed had forgotten about Roy, who was peering around the hall corner, apparently having retreated to his study to give Ed and his brother a little privacy. "Why don't I order something for dinner and you can discuss it while we eat?"

Ed could have kissed him just then. He'd had plenty of time to think about what he would tell them, but he hadn't taken advantage of it. Now he had another hour or so to sort out exactly how much he wanted Winry to know. "Good idea!" he chirped. "How 'bout that Xingian place down by the park? I noticed it when we drove by the other day."

"Good idea," Roy bobbed his head in agreement. "I've been there before, they're pretty good. Xingian sound okay to you two?" Everyone was agreed, and Roy vanished back into his study to call and order.

"Hey, Ed?"

"Hm?"

"What happened to your automail?" The words were deceptively calm, but Winry was staring intently at his gloveless automail hand. Something inside Edward quailed in fear.

"I grew out of it, Winry!" he explained hastily, taking shelter behind Al who looked rather dubious about being put between Winry and the object of one of her automail rages. "I had to replace it! I swear I didn't wreck it! Er, well, I had to take it apart, but-"

"You _what?" _she roared, reaching around Alphonse and yanking Ed out by his braid. She shoved his sleeve up and stared at the revealed arm in mute horror. The seconds ticked by and Ed wondered if she'd notice if he detached his arm and hid under the sofa. "This," she began slowly, running a hand over the metal forearm. "This is _crap, _Ed! Look at this!" She wrenched his arm over and pointed at the wrist joint. "The wrist isn't connected properly. It's a miracle you can move your hand at all! And here!" Ed tuned her out as she went over every bit and piece of his arm, telling him exactly why it didn't measure up. Edward stared pleadingly at Al, but he shrugged as if to say, "Sorry brother, you're on your own."

"Please, please tell me you didn't pay money for this," Winry finished, planting her hands on her hips. "Because if you did, you got robbed. That automail is junk."

"I made it myself, Win," Ed said, exasperated. "I mean, I had to cannibalize yours for parts and to figure out how it worked and all, but I put it all together."

Winry stared at him for a moment, brows drawing together in a confused frown. "You? I don't understand, why didn't you just go to a mechanic?"

Pleased at having derailed her, Ed shrugged. "Couldn't. Where I was, there was no such thing as automail or automail mechanics. If I wanted an arm and a leg, I had to make them myself."

Before Winry could reply, Al slipped under his arm and wrapped his arms around Ed's waist, burying his face in the crook of his brother's neck. "Where _were _you, brother?" he asked, plaintive.

Ed hugged his little brother tightly. "Later, Al. I promise. I just...don't want to talk about it right this minute, okay?"

He felt Alphonse nod against his neck. "Okay." He pulled back slightly, and Ed realized to his horror that Al was actually a little taller than he was. "It can wait. The important thing is that you're here."

Dinner arrived much sooner than Ed would have liked, and they gathered around the table that Ed and Roy never used to eat while Edward told them a heavily edited version of his story. Al would get the rest later, but he didn't want to upset Winry more than she was already, and honestly, she really didn't need to know everything. Over the course of the meal, Alphonse would reach out every few minutes just to touch Edward, as if to assure himself that his brother was really there and not some sort of illusion. Every time he did, Ed would squeeze his hand, maybe for the same reason.

By the time he was finished, Al and Winry looked about ready to drop on their feet. Roy noticed this too, because he said, "We'd better let Al and Miss Rockbell get some sleep. I imagine the trip took a lot out of them. Ed's in the room you usually use, Al, so I prepared the-"

"He sleeps with me," Ed said suddenly, a little more forcefully than he intended. Roy looked at him, and Ed flushed. "For tonight, at least. I just... don't want him out of my sight just yet." The thought of Al being across the house for the night made him feel slightly nauseous. Ed wasn't ready to be apart from him, not yet, even if they were in the same house.

Roy looked at Al, who nodded. "Fine with me, then. The room is ready for you when you want it."

Roy led Winry off to her room, which left Al to follow Ed to theirs. Alphonse was silent, but close, hovering a few steps closer to Edward than normal. Neither broke the silence as they prepared for bed, and Edward got between the blankets and scooted towards the far end, holding his arms out for his brother.

Alphonse took the invitation, sliding into bed and curling against Edward, clinging to his pajama shirt like he was afraid Ed would turn to smoke beneath his hands. Perhaps that was what he feared, and Edward murmured comforting nonsense against his hair and hugged him tightly, relishing the feeling of warm flesh instead of cold metal.

They remained like that for a long time in the warm darkness. Alphonse was silent, his breathing even, so Edward was surprised when he spoke. "Do you hate me, brother?"

Ed stared down at the top of Al's head, incredulous. "Of course not! Why would I hate you?"

Al shifted, and Ed could feel the wide eyes searching for his own in the darkness. "If it wasn't for me, you would never have had to go to that horrible place. And I," he choked, and Ed could hear the threat of tears in his voice. "I don't even remember!"

Edward stroked his hair, trying to soothe him. "It wasn't so horrible," he assured his brother, and really, it was true. "There were good things there too. I just didn't have the best thing. I didn't have my little brother." Alphonse made a tiny, strangled sound, and Ed kissed his head. "I could never hate you, Al. I did what I did because I love you, and you're more important to me than anything. I'd do it again in a heartbeat, with no regrets."

"I'm sorry, brother," Al said, the words stilted and broken.

Edward sighed, carefully wiping away the tears from Alphonse's cheeks. "Don't be. I'm here now, and that's what matters."

Al shifted, burrowing against his chest, and he could feel him nod. "I love you, brother."

Ed tightened his hold. "I love you too."

* * *

Roy settled down on the sofa with a stretch and a sigh. Everyone was tucked into bed for the night, but he wasn't particularly tired. It was still too early for him to turn in, but usually Edward was still up keeping him company, and he found he was a bit at a loss without the short blond's presence.

The thought made him shake his head. How strange that in the space of a week he had become so used to having Ed constantly around. It was as though the younger man had inserted himself into Roy's life so effortlessly that he had hardly noticed, and Roy found he didn't mind that much. It was nice, having someone around besides the occasional lover, which surprised him really. Roy was never much for having his space invaded. Even those occasional lovers never stayed long.

Of course, there were exceptions. Alphonse was one of them. His door was always open to the young alchemist, and Al almost always took advantage of that when passing through Central. Maybe he shouldn't be surprised that Edward seemed to be one of the exceptions as well. He hadn't realized just how much he had missed the other alchemist until he was back again.

A plaintive meow intruded on his thoughts, and Roy looked up to find Ed perched in the hallway up the stairs, shooting him an accusing stare. "Hm? Did I forget to feed you?" he asked her. No, that wasn't right, he'd fed her that morning. Then it struck him, and Roy grinned. "You got locked out, didn't you?" Alphonse was easily her favorite person in the universe, something that amused Roy to no end. When he staying there, she always slept with him, but had apparently been forgotten in all the excitement.

He reached out, plucking the journal from the table where his had abandoned it last night. Might as well take the time to catch up on it. "I know what you're thinking, and you can forget it. I'm not going to go let you in. You can settle for me tonight," he said, giving the arm of the sofa a pat by way of invitation. She hesitated a moment, then sauntered over, leaping up onto the arm, then down into his lap, turning a few circles before draping bonelessly over his thighs. Roy grinned and scratched her behind the ears, then opened the journal and flipped through till he found the page he had left off on.

_January 3rd, 1927_

_Some days I despair of ever getting my morning coffee again._

_It certainly isn't sacred anymore, that's for certain. In fact, I suspect Edward rises as early as I do for the sole purpose of swiping my coffee. I asked him why he keeps taking my coffee when he could easily get his own. He asked me why I keep letting him. I conceded the point to him and went to get another cup._

_Honestly though, I think he gets up so early just to have breakfast with me. He's certainly not a morning person, but every morning he trudges down at six, droopy-eyed and little wobbly. I keep telling him he doesn't have to, and he keeps waving me off. In the end it's nice to have him there, even grouchy and half-asleep. So, really, I'm glad he doesn't listen to me._

Well. That explained that, then. The general suspected it was something along those lines; habits developed with the other world's Roy that he was having difficulty breaking in this one. Truthfully, he felt a little sorry for Ed. Obviously, the two of them had been close, and leaving was hard on him. He supposed having to see Roy day in and day out wasn't making things any easier. He sighed and turned the page.

_January 4th, 1927_

_We're finally starting to get somewhere, I think. Every time we make contact with you, it lasts a little longer. I'll admit I know little of alchemy, but it is clear that Edward is remarkable with it, even to me. He learns something from every attempt, and every slight tweaking of the array has some sort of positive effect. _

_Unfortunately, we have been unable to find a way to communicate with you. Always, I am an observer, looking out from behind your eyes but unable to speak, to act, or to make you notice my presence. Still, progress is being made. The last adjustment Ed made to the array changed the entire feel of the contact. I can't quite put it into words, but something about our connection was different. Closer, perhaps? It certainly made the reaction headache worse, but Edward promised he'd compensate for that next time around. It's clear my headaches make him feel guilty, though I try to assure him they shouldn't. I'm helping him because I want to, and truly, a few headaches are a small price to pay if we succeed._

_I suppose this would be a good place to apologize for riding around in your head without permission, though I'm sure you'll understand that it is for good reason. I assure you, I could not read your thoughts or any such thing, and should Edward and I wind up experimenting at an inappropriate time, I always put a stop to it. I have no desire to intrude on your personal business more than is strictly necessary, but it _is _necessary. _

_I hope you can forgive us that._

_January 12th, 1927_

_I did not intend to let such a long time go between entries; however, I was out of town on a business trip, and unfortunately, I forgot my journal at home. Ah well, no help for it I suppose. I imagine there was little I could write of any interest anyway. Business was business, it bores me to tears, but it is necessary._

_Edward hates it when I go on these trips. He never says as much, but I can tell. The boy can't hide his feelings for the life of him. He is blatantly honest, even when he doesn't mean to be. It's refreshing, particularly after coming home after dealing with polite words that mean nothing at all._

_As soon as I came through the door, Ed was there, mauling me like an over excited puppy, babbling about a thousand things all at once. I let him talk, though he lost me early on. He's very difficult to keep up with when excited. When he paused to take a breath, I simply threw an arm around him, gave him a little hug, and told him I missed him too._

_The look he gave me alone was worth it. At first surprised, then embarrassed. He muttered something about things being boring without me around, and I couldn't help but smile. It was then that I realized I couldn't even imagine my life without him in it anymore. I find myself of two minds about things. On the one hand, in me, Edward has found the chance to get home he has been seeking for five years. How can I deny him that? However, when I think about him leaving, it creates a cold knot in my gut that refuses to go away, and I must admit that I do not want him to go. A selfish desire, but an honest one. _

_The choice is not mine to make, however. His place is on his world, with the people he loves. It is unfair of me to wish it were not the case._

_January 15th, 1927_

_Today, we finally made contact with you. It was a fleeting thing, an image of Edward held only for a moment, but you saw it. Perhaps you even remember it. Edward nearly danced around the room when I told him. He says it will take more time, but that alone may be enough to get him home._

_I am elated and terrified all at once._

_His joy was infectious and heartbreaking. I want him to be happy, but I realize my own feeling are at odds with that. I have not been honest with myself, skirting my feelings for Edward and not daring to examine them too closely. I have, over the course of these few short months, become closer to him than I have ever been to anyone else. I am happiest with him, and miserable when apart. I have always known that he would leave, but that knowledge was a far distant thing. This breakthrough has thrown into stark relief that which I have been too stubborn or too stupid to see._

_I'm in love with him, and I'm going to lose him._


	10. Resignation

A/N: Here's chapter 10! A bit on the short side, I apologize. Much love to Staehli for being my beta and catching all my plural problems. XD

I got more pretty fanart since the last chapter, go give it the love it so deserves. You can see it here (take out the spaces): http:// www. deviantart. com/ deviation/ 46130537/

Thanks for the reviews everyone, and enjoy!

::Chapter 10::

::Resignation::

_January 21st, 1927_

_I've been thinking a lot lately. Thinking too much and too hard about things I cannot change, about loss, about regret. Evan noticed my odd mood and asked me about it. So I told him. Not everything of course, but just that Edward might be leaving us soon. He gave me a truly spectacular sour look, and simply said that I'm an old fool for mourning something I haven't even lost yet. That it was better to make the most of the time we have than to spend it moping about. _

_I thought about his words for a while, and realized that he was right. Perhaps I'll take Ed and Kara sledding this afternoon. I haven't been sledding since I was a boy myself, and now that I think about it, perhaps I'm really past due._

_For now, I'll treasure every moment I have with him. There will be time enough for regrets later._

* * *

Something cold, wet, and rather rumbly found its way into Edward's ear. He batted it away with an irritated grumble only to have it return again a moment later. Ed twitched and rolled over to face the source of the cold, wet and rumbly ear invasion, cracking his eyes open and meeting a pleased green stare.

Ed the man and Ed the cat faced off for a fuzzy moment before he pushed her away with a yawn and reached out, arm searching blindly for his brother only to meet empty space. Ed frowned and sat up, rubbing his eyes and looking around the empty room with a frown. Where was Al?

It took a few seconds before panic set into his sleep fogged mind. For a terrible moment, he thought perhaps it had all been a dream, but the sight of Al's suitcase resting in the corner assured him that it wasn't. Then where? Ed tried to stand, legs tangling in the sheets. He cursed, kicking at the blankets ineffectually for a moment before he reached down and untangled himself. Alphonse appeared in the doorway just as Ed stumbled to his feet, and he stared at his little brother dumbly for a moment. "You were gone," he said finally, the words coming out whinier than intended.

Alphonse blinked and then smiled warmly, and Ed felt something in his chest break. How long had it been, since he had seen that smile? In the soft morning light his little brother looked like an angel, and it made Ed want to start crying all over again. Instead, he sank back down onto the bed and held out his arms. Alphonse closed the distance and settled into his embrace with a happy sound. "Sorry," Al said against his chest, and Ed could hear the smile in his voice. "I had to go to the bathroom."

Ed laughed a little at that. "Well, I suppose I'll just have to live with it. I can't exactly go around having panic attacks every time you have to deal with bodily functions." Something in the back of his head was utterly tickled by the simple fact that Al had bodily functions at all.

That was met with a giggle and Al pulled back, grinning from ear to ear. "I think there are a lot of things we'll have to get used to," he said.

Reaching out, Ed pulled on a stray lock of Alphonse's sleep-mussed hair. "I think I can deal with that."

"Yeah."

They sat there for a while, grinning stupidly at each other. Finally, Ed shook his head and stood, holding out his hand for Al. "C'mon. I'll make you breakfast."

Alphonse took his hand with a dubious look. "Since when can you cook?"

"I could cook!" Alphonse quirked an eyebrow in a very Roy-ish fashion, and Ed decided he needed to have a talk with the general about corrupting his little brother. Ed crossed his arms and shot Al a defiant stare. "What? I could!"

"I wouldn't call that cooking, brother," Al said, dragging Ed out into the hall. "More like...surviving," he finished delicately.

"You said you liked my cooking!"

"I didn't want to hurt your feelings!"

Ed rolled his eyes and stomped down the stairs. "My entire life is a lie!" he cried dramatically, and Al laughed. "Maybe I'll make you Liam's chocolate pie. You'll be sorry you insulted my culinary skills then!"

"Who's Liam?" Alphonse asked.

"He's-" Ed stopped suddenly at the bottom of the stairs, turning to Al and motioning for quiet. At Al's questioning look, he pointed to the sofa where Roy lay curled up and fast asleep. He still wore his clothes from the night before, an open book lying forgotten on the floor. He must have fallen asleep reading, Ed realized, and damn, it was cold down there. The bastard must be freezing. He dodged around Al and went upstairs, retrieving the thick blanket from their bed and carefully covering the sleeping general.

He didn't so much as twitch, and Ed picked up the book off the floor. It was Roy's journal, one of the pages crumpled from its tumble to the floor. Ed smoothed the page as best he could and set the journal on the table, ignoring the feeling of loss that threatened when he saw the neat, familiar script.

He checked the blanket again, adjusting it so it wouldn't slip, then straightened and motioned for Alphonse to follow him. He led his little brother to the kitchen and sat him on one of the stools while he put coffee on. He hesitated, then looked at Al. "D'you drink coffee?" he asked, keeping his voice low so as not to disturb Roy.

Al made a face and shook his head. "Ick, no. The general usually keeps some tea around for when I visit." Tea, right. Ed felt a surge of jealousy and immediately quashed it. So what if Roy knew that his brother drank tea and he didn't? It had been a long time, and there were some things about Al he would just have learn. Five years of habits; of likes and dislikes. He should be happy he had the chance to learn these things, not angry that he hadn't been around to know them in the first place.

He put the water on to boil, and after a bit of deliberating, settled on pancakes for breakfast. He talked with Al in a low voice while he cooked, pausing briefly to make his brother's tea and pour himself a cup of coffee. When he judged the growing pile suitable for the four of them, he sent Al upstairs to get Winry, poured another cup of coffee, and went to wake up Roy.

"Hey, you lazy bastard, up!" Edward said, jabbing Roy in the arm. A dark eye slid open and stared at him balefully. "Up!" Ed repeated, and Roy obediently sat upright, hiding a yawn behind his hand.

"What time is it?" he asked.

"Seven? Eight? Something like that," Ed told him, thrusting the coffee into his hands.

Roy stared at it blankly for a moment. "I feel like crap," he announced.

Ed rolled his eyes. "That's what you get for sleeping on the couch, moron. C'mon, I made pancakes." Without waiting for a reply, he swept off back into the kitchen and began setting out plates. Roy followed a moment later and slumped into one of the chairs with another large yawn.

"Thanks for the blanket," he said after a moment. "And the coffee."

"Couldn't let you freeze to death," Ed said with a shrug, setting his rather daunting stack of pancakes down in the middle of the table. He surveyed his work for a moment, and satisfied, was about to grab the syrup from the counter when he noticed Roy giving him the strangest look. Ed cocked his head with a questioning frown, wondering why the general seemed intent on boring through his skull. "...What?"

Roy blinked and shook his head. "Nothing, sorry. Was just thinking."

Ed shot him a doubtful look, but was sidetracked when Al returned with Winry in tow. "What took so long?"

Alphonse shrugged, slipping into the chair to the left of Roy. "She had to get dressed first."

"Dressed for breakfast?"

Winry snorted and took one of the chairs. "I'm not going to go wandering around the house in my pajamas like the rest of you," she said, looking pointedly between Ed and Al.

Ed chalked it up to being one of those female things he just didn't get. "Tea or coffee?"

"Tea, please," she said, eyeing the dangerously tall stack of pancakes. "You made all this? Since when can you cook?"

Al laughed and Ed growled, slamming the mug of tea down in front of her. "Just eat the damn pancakes," he muttered, flopping down into the last chair.

The rest of breakfast passed rather peaceably, though they all had to deal with a smug Edward once it was discovered that the pancakes were indeed good and not something just this side of poison. Once finished, cleaning duties were bestowed on Roy and Winry dragged Ed out into the living room with the intention of getting a thorough look at his arm, Alphonse trailing after.

She deposited him unceremoniously on the sofa and gave his shirt a sharp tug. "Off." Ed knew from long years of experience that resistance was futile and did as asked. Winry made a soft sound of distress as his pajama top was tossed aside. "You didn't have this many scars last time, Ed."

He sighed. "I got dropped in the middle of a war, Winry. I'm lucky a few new scars are all I have to show for it. Besides, they aren't that bad."

"I suppose not," she said, feeling around the edge where automail met flesh. "It just took me by surprise I guess. You're lucky you didn't grow much, Ed. It's tight as it is, if you had gotten much bigger, you wouldn't have an arm at all." It was probably the first and only time in his life Edward was thankful for his small stature. Short, he could handle. Living without an arm would have been miserable. "I'm going to have to change the fitting entirely as it is," she continued, "but I don't think there's any permanent damage. I bet it hurts like hell sometimes, though."

Edward nodded. "The cold is the worst, it aches like-" he paused as his mind caught up with her words. "Wait a minute. Change the fitting? Please tell me that was a joke." Attaching the automail hurt like hell, but it was fleeting and manageable. Installing the fittings on the other hand was slow, hot agony. If he never had to go through that again, it would be too soon.

Winry shook her head. "Sorry Ed, but I can't leave this as it is. It _needs _to be enlarged."

"Kill me," Ed moaned, while Winry started rolling up his pant leg to get a look at the automail underneath. "It would be kinder." Alphonse gave him a sympathetic sideways hug and Ed sighed. "What's the damage down there? That need to be replaced too?"

"Actually, no," Winry said after a moment, and Ed let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. "The leg is a bit short, but the fitting is in good condition." She released his leg and sat back on her heels. "It'll take me a week, week and a half to get everything ready. We'll need to take you back to Rizembool to change the fitting, though. I'll need Granny's help with that."

"I can't," Ed told her, "I get zapped every time I get too far away from the bastard general, remember? And he's got a murder investigation on his hands, so I doubt he'll have the time to come along. D'you think Auntie Pinako would come here?"

Winry bit her lip, considering. "She hates the city, but for you, yeah, she'd probably come out. What's the deal with that whole thing anyway? What did you two do to get yourselves stuck like that?"

Edward snorted. "Your guess is as good as mine. Obviously, it must be some side effect of the method I used to get home, but best as I can tell, no one has even heard of something like this before, and the couple of things I tried didn't have any effect. So, it could be a while before I figure out a way to fix it." He hated to say it, but it was true. At the rate things were going, he'd be stuck with Roy forever.

She blinked and shook her head. "I'll leave the alchemy to the alchemists. I'm going to go shower and then head out into town to pick up a few parts I'm going to need," Winry gave him a pat on the shoulder after Ed pulled his shirt back on. "Don't worry, if anyone can find a way out of this mess, it'll be you and Al." He considered her words as she left. Really, Winry had a point. If he could figure out how to travel from one world to another, this should be cake. Especially with Al to help him out.

The doorbell rang, startling him from his thoughts, and he got up and answered it to find a large box of books with Hawkeye's voice standing on the porch. He relived the poor woman of her burden, earning a grateful smile, and led her inside, kicking the door shut behind him. After they had dumped the box on the table, Ed asked, "What's all this?"

"Research material," she said. "Hello there Alphonse, good to see you again. The books on the left here are the ones you forgot on your last visit."

"Thank you, Major!" he chirped, retrieving his books from the pile. It barely made a dent in the mountain that had overtaken the table.

"Where did you get all these?" Ed asked, stunned by the sheer volume of books, which were as best as he could tell, all relevant. He picked up one of the books and began flipping through it absently.

"I did a little research myself over the weekend," she said, settling on the couch beside Alphonse. "These were the ones I felt had the best chance of containing some sort of useful information."

"This is..." Ed shook his head, setting down the book he had been flipping through. That woman was something else. He was starting to appreciate why Roy valued her so highly. "Shit. Thanks. This must've taken ages. I know you're already busy with that investigation of yours."

Hawkeye favored him with a smile. "You're welcome."

"Speaking of," Roy said, emerging from the kitchen with two mugs in hand, one of which he handed to Hawkeye before settling down in an empty chair. "How's that going?"

She thanked him for the drink and sighed. "Not well. We have little evidence and no leads. It feels like everyone is chasing their tails. I hate to say it, but it would almost be better if we had another murder on our hands. At least then we'd have fresh evidence. It's like we're dealing with a ghost here. Becklin I can understand, but Parker was paranoid; he had security. A lot of it, but somehow no one saw or heard anything." Hawkeye seemed to droop a little. She looked very, very tired, and Ed felt guilty that she had taken so much time to help him with everything else going on.

"Explains why I'm getting so many reports on nothing," Roy muttered.

"Hey brother," Al said suddenly, turning Ed's attention from conversation between the two officers. "You said that it might just be a side effect, right? Can you draw the array you used for me?"

"Sure," Edward said, going to Roy's study to get a pen and the pad of paper with his notes. Flopping down on Al's other side, he quickly copied down the array and passed it over to his brother. Ed had a natural knack for alchemy, sure, but Alphonse was the one with a head for theory. If the problem was with the array itself, Al would be the one to find it.

"This is genius!" Al said after a moment, tracing the lines with a finger. "I've never seen anything like this, brother. All the books say transporting physical matter from one place to another is impossible, but with this, well," he beamed, "obviously it worked. How did you think of it?"

Ed glowed under the praise, shrugging slightly with an embarrassed grin. "It's amazing what you can do when you need too, I guess. Took me months to perfect it though. D'you think the problem is with the array?"

The smile faded, replaced by a thoughtful frown as Alphonse looked back at the array. "Honestly, I'm not sure. This is one of the most complicated arrays I've ever seen, it'll take some time for me to figure out if there are any flaws. It certainly is a possibility though. Untested arrays are usually rife with problems that can cause unexpected results. But," he brightened, " if the problem was in the array itself, it should be simple enough to undo!"

"True," Ed agreed, fishing a book from the pile at random and taking a look at the title. Unconventional Alchemy by Jaide Norring. He flipped it open. "That's most likely where the problem is." If that was the case, it would be a pain to find, but easy to counter.

Al considered this. "Well, you did say that the general's double helped you. Maybe he tampered with the array?"

Ed looked up from the book and snorted. Al had no idea how unlikely that was. "No way. Even if he did have the know-how --which he didn't-- he wouldn't have."

"I don't know," Alphonse continued, tapping the pen against the top of the pad thoughtfully. "I think we should still consider it a possibility. I don't mean to say anything bad about him, it was awfully nice of him to help you out, but we can't know for sure."

"Listen-" Edward started, then paused. He didn't want to explain why he _knew _Roy would never do anything like that in front of everyone. He slammed the book closed suddenly. "Hey Al, lets take this stuff upstairs and work there for a while."

Al shot him a curious look, but agreed. "All right," he picked a couple of books out of the box and followed Edward upstairs. Ed closed the door behind and sank down on the bed, and Alphonse gave him a pointed look and asked, "What was that about?"

"...What was what about?"

Alphonse rolled his eyes and sat down beside his brother. "It bothers you that I think the other general could have had something to do with it." It wasn't a question.

Ed sighed. "No, not really. It's a logical possibility, but Al...he just wouldn't. Roy would never, ever, not in a million years have done anything to sabotage me. By accident maybe, but not on purpose."

Al leaned against his brother, considering his words. "You knew him a lot better than you let on, didn't you?"

"Well, yeah," Ed said, shrugging self-consciously. "I lived with him for months, I kinda had no choice but to get to know the guy. It's just...I couldn't tell you everything I wanted to with Winry right there. Some stuff happened, and it's kinda been bothering me, and Hawkeye made me promise to talk to you about it, but it's not really that big of a deal. I mean, I _did _promise, and I need to give you the watch anyway, but--"

"Brother, you're babbling."

Ed made a face. "Sorry. It's just kinda awkward I guess. Here," he got to his feet and went over to the dresser and pulled open the first drawer where Al's pocket watch lay nestled on an unused shirt. He took the watch out and closed the drawer, returning to Al's side. Ed stared at the watch resting in his hand for a moment, tracing a finger of the delicate gold inlay with a faint smile. Sentimental bastard. He thrust to watch toward Al, who took it with a confused look.

"What's this for?"

"Open it."

Alphonse did as he was told, letting out a little gasp when he saw his name. "This is for me?" he asked, closing the watch and turning it over with careful hands and a bright smile. "It's beautiful brother, thank you."

"Don't thank me," Edward said, smiling at Al's obvious delight. "Roy had that made for you."

"Then why didn't he give it to me himself?" Al asked with a curious tilt of his head.

"Not that Roy. The other one."

"Oh." Alphonse blinked. "Oh! But...why? I mean, it's beautiful, but it must have been expensive, and he doesn't even know me."

Taking the watch back, Edward held it up, watching the light reflect on the polished surface. "It was a promise. When he gave this to me, it was a promise that someday, I'd be able to give it you." He raised his eyes to Al's. "That meant a lot to me. Most of the time I was there, I was alone. Alone in my search for a way home, for a way back to you. Then outta nowhere this guy drops in my lap, and suddenly I'm not alone anymore. He wanted to help me for the sake of helping me, and after all that time alone...it was nice to have a friend again, I suppose. Anyway," Ed handed the watch back to Al. "He was a complete sap like that. Full of stupid, sentimental gestures like that watch. So, uh...take care of it, okay?"

"I will, brother," he promised, tucking it away carefully in his pocket. "Is that what you promised the major you'd tell me?"

Ed cringed. On some level, he had kind of hoped to get away without having to talk to Al about this particular problem. Not that it was really a problem. It was just kind of bugging him. A little. "While I was there, I guess Roy and I got kind of close. I mean, we were spending all that time shut up in the workroom together, so I suppose it was kind of inevitable. Anyway, right before we activated the array to send me home, he, well..." Ed ducked his head, embarrassed. This story was much easier to tell when drunk. "He kissed me. Then he told me he loved me."

He couldn't quite bring himself to meet Alphonse's eyes and shifted uncomfortably as he continued. "It all happened so fast I didn't really have time to think about it, and the next thing I knew, I was back home again. Once things settled down a bit, I actually had the time to think about it, and it sorta...bothers me for some reason. It isn't a big deal though, and I was drunk when I told Hawkeye anyway, so don't worry about it," he finished in a rush, wishing he had never made the promise to talk to Al about it. Edward loved his brother, but this whole thing wasn't really something he was comfortable talking about with anyone. It was awkward. Just thinking about it left a very discomforting feeling in his stomach.

There was a moment of silence, and when Ed dared look up, he found Alphonse looking at him with a small, strange smile that made him kind of nervous. "...I always thought you might be gay," he said after a moment.

"What!? Gay!?" Ed shrieked, leaping to his feet and jabbing a finger at his brother. "Did I say anything about being gay? No! Why does that bastard kissing _me _make me the one who's gay? Besides, I was eleven the last time you saw me! I don't think I even _had_ a sexual preference yet, how could you suspect anything?" he snarled at the air. "He said he was in love with me, I never said I was in love with him!"

Al's smile grew wider over the course of Edward's rather loud rant, and finally he laughed a little and shook his head. "You didn't have to say it, brother."

That deflated Ed immediately and he just stared at Alphonse for a moment. "What?"

"You didn't have to say you were in love with him, brother," Al's smile softened. "It's pretty obvious when you talk about him."

The words caused such a sudden, fierce ache in Edward's chest that he could barely breathe around it. He swallowed a few times before he could speak. "Listen, Al," he said, feeling very tired and very old. "Maybe...maybe I was. I don't know, I didn't really have the time to figure it out. I should never have brought it up. My life is here now, and whatever happened or could have happened there...just doesn't matter. I'm never going to see him again. My life is with you, here. So just...forget I ever said anything. Just forget it." With that he turned and walked from the room, ignoring Al calling him back.

Really, that's what it all came down to. Al was here, his life was here. He was never going to see Roy again, and whatever feelings there may or may not have been just didn't matter now. That was just the way it was. It was the way it had to be.

If only his heart would agree with his head.


	11. Break

Notes: Well, that only took me...what? Eight months? XD My sincerest apologies for the delay. I actually wanted to finish before posting any further chapters, but I've never been too good at sticking to my guns like that. Chapter 12 is already finished and in the hands of my beta as we speak, and I'll be getting started on 13 shortly. Updates should be weekly from here on out, but I make no promises this time. I tend to jinx myself when I do. ;)

Enjoy!

::Chapter 11::

::Break::

_January 29th, 1927_

_Alchemy is truly a wonder. It always irritates Edward when I refer to it as magic; I've already had several lectures on the science of alchemy, and though I can understand how in a world where such things are common it might be considered such, to me, it will always be magic. He tells me that I should be able to use it outside of our workings together, he has even offered more than once to teach me how. He calls it equivalent, that he do something for me in exchange for my help._

_I'll admit it is tempting, but every time, I've declined. Partly because I find the offer of such power a little frightening, partly because I have no idea what effect such use might have on you. Edward is certain that my ability to use alchemy is due entirely to whatever connection it is we share, and that the lack of such a connection is what has rendered him unable to use it himself._

_He doesn't understand my reluctance, and I find it hard to explain. I have no qualms doing whatever I can for him, but beyond that, I feel that such an ability was never meant to be mine. Alchemy is not of my world, and as such is probably best left alone._

* * *

Roy set the journal down, stretched, and took another sip of his cooling coffee. The house was quiet still, none of his guests would likely be up for another hour or two and that gave Roy plenty of time to himself to relax.

And to think.

He tapped the plain cover of the journal absently. It was certainly a shock, to learn that this other Roy was in love with Edward. The imagery that had accompanied the revelation had been...bizarre, at the very least. He felt like a bit of a voyeur in a way, being privy to another person's thoughts and feelings on that level. He knew that the man had meant for him to have the journal and everything it contained, but he just couldn't quite shake the feeling that he was intruding on something private.

It didn't stop him from reading, however. It was something of a guilty fascination, being offered this glimpse through the eyes of someone who was him, but at the same time, wasn't. The longer entries sometimes went on for pages, rambling accounts of things both minor and major, and they were all interesting. It was very easy to get a sense for the man behind the words and Roy found himself regretting that he would never have the chance to know him in person.

As for Edward, well...it was odd. The other Roy was a touch on the romantic side, something that, while Roy didn't think it was always intentional, often bled through in his writing. It was more than a little strange to read something like that and be confronted by Edward not long after. He found himself looking at Ed through different eyes, and honestly, it wasn't hard to see what the man saw in the short blond once he really looked. He'd always had a great deal of respect for the younger alchemist, though he sometimes found it hard to reconcile the boy he had known with the man he was now.

Roy drained his coffee and refilled his cup, returning to his seat at the counter and opening the journal to the page he left off. It was a sad story all around, and he couldn't help but wonder what Edward thought of everything. He wasn't entirely sure that Ed even knew; there was nothing in the journal so far to indicate he did, but it might explain some of his strange behavior if that was the case.

He had barely started reading when a thud and a curse caught his attention. He looked up as Ed limped into the kitchen with a deep frown, rubbing his knee and muttering under his breath. Edward froze when he saw Roy, blinking at him for a moment and straightening slowly. "Didn't know anyone else was up," he said, reaching for the coffee only to find it empty.

"Take mine," Roy said absently, shoving his cup in the other man's direction. "I've had too much this morning anyway."

Ed stared at the mug for a moment, before shaking his head slowly. "Nah. I'll just make more."

It took Roy a moment to place Ed's reaction, and he checked a sigh. There had to be more to it than he realized. He almost wanted to come out and ask, but instead said, "What? No Alphonse? I thought you two were attached at the hip."

Edward visibly relaxed at that, and offered a shrug and a half smile. "Sleeping. Just because I can't sleep in anymore doesn't mean he has to suffer too." His gaze flicked to the open journal at Roy's elbow and he nodded at it. "You've been reading that a lot lately."

Roy glanced down, then back at Ed. "It's interesting, " he replied honestly. "At first I was a bit apprehensive; my pride didn't like the notion that there was another me out there." He smiled wryly. "But I realize that he and I aren't really the same person at all. Besides, it's nice to know what you were up to while you were there."

Edward's eyes widened a fraction; he scowled. "I wasn't up to anything," he muttered, turning and pouring himself a cup of coffee from the fresh pot.

"He was in love with you, you know," Roy said suddenly, wincing inwardly when Ed stiffened. Some days Roy suspected his sense of tact was attached to his uniform, because he said some pretty stupid things when he wasn't in it. He'd had every intention of broaching the subject delicately, not blurting it out like an idiot. He sighed.

Edward was still as death, back still to him. The silence stretched out for a long moment, before he asked in a strangely muted tone, "He said that?"

"Yes."

A heavy sigh and a slump of shoulders met Roy's reply. "Sentimental idiot," he muttered, turning to face the general. He jabbed a finger at the journal. "I hope you choke," he snapped, but the words lacked venom. Edward seemed tired more than anything. He leaned back against the counter and ran a hand through his hair, raising his eyes to meet Roy's own. "I know he...I know." The words were slow, careful. "But it doesn't matter, and I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't bring it up again."

Roy studied the younger man for a long moment. He looked haggard and pained, far older at that moment than was right. Looking into those tired golden eyes, everything clicked into place. The odd behavior, the brooding he tried to hide, the innocent things that seemed to trouble him so much. "He wasn't the only one in love, was he?" Roy asked gently.

Edward flinched, screwing his eyes shut for a moment. Roy realized he had tread on forbidden ground when they opened again, blazing. "What is everyone's fucking obsession with my love life?" Ed snarled, slamming his mug down on the counter hard enough to shatter it. Roy winced inwardly as coffee and bits of mug went everywhere. "You know what? It _doesn't matter._ I'm here, he's gone, I'm never going to see him again and that's all there is to it. Leave it alone! Just drop it and _let me forget!" _

He stormed out and Roy didn't try to stop him. A moment later, there was a slamming door loud enough to rattle the house and he sighed. Ed might not be as touchy as he once was, but dealing with him was still like handling a wild animal; if you didn't do it just right, you were liable to get bitten.

He wanted to help the other alchemist, but he wasn't sure what he could do. Heartbreak was never an easy thing to mend, and being who he was, he might do more harm than good.

The coffee puddle was slowly making its way towards Roy, and after plucking the journal from harm's way, he did his best to sop up the mess and gather the scattered fragments of cup. He couldn't really blame Edward for being angry with him, he mused as he pulled a nub of chalk from his pocket and drew a quick array on the counter, scooping the broken mug and its fragments into the center. It was pretty thoughtless of him to throw it out like that when he had no idea what Ed's feelings were on the matter.

Roy snorted softly and brief flash of alchemical energy had the mug whole again, save a tiny chip on the handle. He dumped the mug in the sink and finished cleaning up the rest of the coffee mess. Granted, he hadn't expected Edward to feel the same way, but he should have considered the possibility before he trampled the poor kid's feelings by bringing it up.

Too late for that. All he could do now was try and make amends. Maybe he'd take him out for dinner after as a peace offering. Free food was usually a surefire way to get on Ed's good side. Or at least off his bad one.

* * *

Edward stood under the warm spray and did his best to glare a hole through the tile of the shower wall. The wall seemed less than impressed. He was tempted to slap his hands on the tile and blast a hole through the side of the house. The fact that he was quite naked and would be probably wind up being gawked at by neighbors wondering what the commotion was all about wasn't as big a deterrent as it should have been. Ed really, really felt like blowing something up. Nothing like loud noises and gratuitous property damage to make a man feel better.

Stupid shower.

Stupid Roy.

Stupid _other _Roy.

Ed growled and slicked his hair back out of his eyes, grabbing the shampoo and poured a generous amount into his hand, rubbing it into his scalp hard enough to hurt. His automail snagged a bit of hair and Ed swore, trying to unwind his hair from where it had tangled in his wrist. He found himself sorely tempted to transmute his arm and hack off all of the offending stuff. What did it matter? It was too damn long anyway; longer than he ever meant to let it grow. Ed had just been too lazy to get it cut, and then Roy had said he'd liked it, so he'd kept it. But Roy was gone now, and it really was nothing but a huge pain in the ass and he really should just cut it off and be done with it.

Ed sighed and finished untangling the hair from his wrist joint. Who was he kidding, anyway? Himself, apparently. Edward couldn't help the surge of bitterness. Everyone else seemed to know how he felt better than he did. Al was bad enough, but Roy? That was just insult to injury, and no little embarrassing. Ed honestly couldn't understand what the man expected to accomplish by bringing it up in the first place.

_Why yes, I am in love with some other you on a different world. I think. That probably explains why it feels like someone is ripping out my heart through my nose every time I look at you. Thanks for asking._

Everyone was forcing him to confront his feelings for Roy, and while it may have been cowardly, Edward didn't want to. He didn't want to think about what might have been, didn't want to identify the feelings that twisted inside him when he thought about the man. He didn't want to admit how much it hurt when it struck home that he would never see Roy again. All he wanted to do was bury all these traitorous feelings and pretend they never existed.

Was it so wrong to want to forget just to spare himself a little hurt? Hadn't he suffered enough without the people who were supposed to care about him making it worse? Ed sighed and grabbed the soap. That wasn't fair, and he knew it. Al and Hawkeye were worried about him, and if he wanted to be charitable, Roy probably was too. If only he could make them understand that talking about it was the last thing he wanted to do.

Ed finished his shower and dressed, slipping out the door and back to the room he shared with his brother. Alphonse was awake now, already sitting amidst a mountain of books and paper, the array Ed had drawn for him the day before in his hands and a frown of concentration on his face.

He looked up when Ed entered, the frown vanishing into a sunny smile. "Good morning, brother!"

That smile alone put Edward in a better mood. He wondered if he would ever get used to it again. "Morning, Al," he said, flopping down on the bed and dragging his brush through his hair.

Al set the array down and got to his feet, stepping carefully over his notes and settling on the bed behind Edward, holding out his hand for the brush. Ed hesitated for a moment, then passed it over. Alphonse shifted slightly and then he felt the brush run through his hair. "So, what did he do?"

"Huh?"

"The general," Al clarified, setting aside the brush and separating the hair into strands. "It was you thundering around and slamming doors that woke me up. Since Winry never gets up this early, I figured the general must have done something to upset you."

"Sorry I woke you up," he said, passing over the clip when Alphonse tapped his shoulder. "It wasn't a big deal, bastard was just pushing my buttons is all."

Alphonse made a noncommittal sound, and Ed could tell he wasn't buying it. His brother released his hair and leaned against his back, resting his head on Edward's shoulder. "It's okay to get upset, you know," he said. "Nobody expects you to adjust right away. It would be hard enough on you without this strange problem on top of it. And I know being around the general all the time isn't easy for you." He sighed. "You don't have to pretend you're okay when you aren't. Not with me."

"I know, Al," Ed said, shifting around slightly and giving his brother a sideways hug. "Maybe...I'm not okay right now, but I will be. I just need to work things out on my own, you know? Sort through this mess in my head on my own terms. I know everyone means well, and I know you're just worried about me," he leaned his head against his brother's, "but I promise I'll be fine."

"You know I'm here for you if you need me, right?" Alphonse asked in a small voice, raising his eyes to meet Ed's.

"I know," he assured him. "And I promise if I ever need to talk things out, you'll be the first person I come to."

Edward looked up at the sound of footsteps in the hall, a blonde head poking in a moment later. Winry grinned at them. "I need to head out into town and pick up some parts, who's going with me?"

"More?" Ed asked. "Didn't you do that yesterday?" He had a sneaking suspicion that she was taking advantage of the fact that his automail was going on the general's tab to get a few free 'extras'.

Winry rolled her eyes. "I couldn't get everything all at once, you should know better. Not to mention I need a couple of custom parts. So you might as well make yourself useful and come carry things for me."

"I can't, I'm stuck with a certain bastard general," he reminded her sourly.

She looked momentarily irritated, then shrugged, throwing the door open all the way. "Alphonse it is then. Go take a shower, would you? We've got a lot we need," she said, waving a scrap of paper Edward presumed had the measurements she had taken the day before.

The idea of Al going out without him didn't sit very well with Ed, not to mention he didn't relish being cooped up alone with Roy all day. "Can't you go by yourself?"

Blue eyes narrowed slightly, hands found way to hips, and Ed swore the temperature dropped a few degrees. "Are you suggesting I go alone?" she demanded. "I could be robbed you know! Or worse!"

Any man foolish enough to mess with Winry Rockbell would be getting more than he bargained for, Ed was sure, but he kept that to himself. Instead he sighed and relented. It was a losing battle anyway; he'd just hole himself up in the room and work on finding a solution to his problem. If he was lucky, he might not have to deal with Roy at all. "Fine, take him."

"Hey! Don't I get a say?" Alphonse asked, getting to his feet.

"No," came the sharp reply. "Now go wash up, I want to get an early start."

"Yes ma'am," Al replied meekly, shooting Edward an exasperated look before gathering up some clothes from his suitcase and slipping out of the room.

"See you later, Ed," Winry said, following Al out and leaving Edward to himself. He stared at the door for a few minutes, sighed, and settled down amidst his brother's notes and got to work.

* * *

Edward's stomach snarled at him for the third time in as many minutes and he sighed, set down his notepad, and rubbed his belly mournfully. He really should have had Al or Winry bring him something to snack on before they left. Ah, hindsight. Now he was stuck either starving to death, or risking running into Roy by going downstairs and feeding himself. Neither fate was particularly appealing, but when his stomach rumbled a fourth time he sighed and gave in. Roy was probably holed up in his study anyway. It should be safe enough to sneak down for a bite.

Such was not the case. Roy was still settled at the counter, surrounded by paperwork this time, the stupid, incriminating journal sitting off innocently to one side. His first instinct was to turn on his heel and go back upstairs, but Roy knew he was there, and that would be something akin to running. Edward Elric did not run.

Usually.

Instead, Ed slid into the kitchen as quietly as possible, praying Roy wouldn't look up. If Roy looked at him, then Roy would probably talk to him and that's what he really wanted to avoid right now. Their earlier conversation only compounded the awkwardness he already felt around the other man, and he hated feeling awkward.

A bit of foraging turned up the leftovers of Al's pasta thing from the night before. It would take a little longer to reheat, but he was starving and Roy didn't show any sign of bothering him, even if the man's presence was making his shoulder blades itch. Even if Roy wasn't paying him any mind, Edward was acutely aware of the general, and it was making him uncomfortable. It was strange how his relationship with the Roy on the other side of the gate affected his feelings towards the general. Ed knew, logically, that they were not the same man, but he often found himself forgetting the fact on an emotional level. Even something as innocuous as a smile or a brief touch was more than enough to flatten logic beneath a warm thrill.

It drove Edward mad. He didn't want to think about the general that way; it only complicated matters. Worse, he knew it likely had very little to do with him, but was due in large part to his painful resemblance to the Roy Ed found himself missing so much. He was no shrink, but even Ed could see that he was trying to replace one with the other on some level, and that couldn't be a good thing.

Granted, his situation was hardly a normal one. Ed frowned thoughtfully at his food. When it came down to it, was it really such a bad thing? He snorted and forced the thought from his mind. Of course it was, what the hell was wrong with him? He hoped they managed to find a solution to things soon; he really needed to go home and get some distance from everything. Being around Roy was mucking with his head and making it hard to move on.

"I'm sorry." The apology was sudden and unexpected, the words making Ed's muscles lock up.

Damn it.

He turned stiffly to find Roy looking at him, expression unreadable. "It was none of my business, and I apologize for brining it up.

Ed relaxed slightly. Apologies were okay. Apologies meant they could pretend like the whole thing had never happened. "I'll forgive you if you just drop it and never bring it up again, fair enough?"

A smile. "Fair enough," Roy agreed.

Edward looked away quickly. It was easy to forget who he was looking at when Roy smiled. Too easy, and something in the back of his head whispered that maybe that wasn't so terrible. That maybe Roy was exactly what he needed.

Ed was starting to hate that voice, because it was more tempting than he cared to admit.

A rustle of paper and Ed looked over to see Roy gathering everything into a pile. "Want to get some lunch?" he asked, straightening the stack. "I could use some fresh air."

A peace offering, probably. With a silent apology to Al he dumped the freshly reheated leftovers in the trash. Who was he to say no to a free lunch? "Sure, why not?"

A flash of movement caught out of the corner of his eye as he stepped out of the kitchen was the only warning Ed got. Caught in an iron grip before he do more than shout a warning, his arm was twisted brutally behind his back, the other pinned to his side as something cold and hard pressed against his neck. Ed squirmed slightly, kicking at his captor, who wrenched his arm painfully. "I wouldn't, if I were you. If you struggle, my hand might slip."

The words were smooth, easy. Confident. Ed swore inwardly and stilled; he had no way of knowing if the knife was poisoned, but he wasn't about to test it. "And you, General. I suggest you take a seat and do exactly as I say unless you want me to kill your friend here."

Roy scowled, lifting his hands slowly and returning to the stool he had occupied most of the morning. Civilian clothes, no gloves. A small, irate part of his mind wondered why the _fuck _Roy didn't keep his gloves on his person with an assassin on the loose. If he survived this, he was going to rip the bastard a new one. At the moment, though, that wasn't looking terribly likely. Ed wasn't sure if the assassin knew who he was, but either by accident or design he had rendered Edward's alchemy useless by twisting his arm behind his back.

"Remember me, General?" the man asked, tone deceptively light.

A black eye narrowed slightly. "Bradley's pet hit-man."

Pride. Something twisted in his gut and Ed felt ill. He'd never gotten the whole story, but Bradley was supposed to be dead, wasn't he? The man chuckled, blade digging just a bit too deep as he shifted. His captor didn't notice, or didn't care. "Quite right, quite right. Unfortunately, I find myself at loose ends, thanks to you. My previous employer died under," a pause, "_mysterious _circumstances, and the new government felt they had no need of my services."

Edward shifted slightly, trying to get some distance between his neck and the knife. His captor tightened his hold, Ed's arm screaming in protest. "Be still, boy, or I might just kill you anyway. Hostages aren't really my style." Edward did as he was told, biting back a growl. If the man would let up with the damn knife for even a second, he could probably get free. The bastard was cocky, too confident. He'd make a mistake, Ed was sure of it. He just hoped it came before the man slit his throat.

Roy spoke. "You murdered those men because you're angry that the new government had no need of a hired gun?" He did not sound impressed.

A shrug that caused the knife to slip a bit. Still too close for Ed's peace of mind, but if Roy kept him talking and he kept still enough, he might have a chance. "Death is my business, General. My agreement with the Fuhrer was a lucrative one, and I was not pleased to lose it. Unfortunately, when you killed him, that caused problems for me." The friendly tone was suddenly gone, his words cold and flat. "I do not like problems."

"So you'll kill me then?"

"Mm," the man agreed, a smile in his voice. "Not terribly profitable I'm afraid, but quite satisfying regardless. Sometimes a man needs to do something purely for enjoyment, don't you agree? Ah, but that's enough-" The knife slipped further, and Ed took his chance before the bastard had the chance to adjust his grip.

He ducked and twisted --too slow, stinging pain and warm blood as the blade dug into the flesh just under his jaw-- but Ed ignored it and brought his automail fist hard into the assassin's head. The man crumpled, and there was blood on his hand and he wondered for a dazed moment if he had killed him.

There was a flurry of motion and the sound of tearing fabric and suddenly Roy was there, pressing something against his throat and Edward blinked, the world coming back into sharp focus as he realized that he was quite likely bleeding to death. A disjointed part of his mind found that rather funny, though he wasn't entirely sure why.

"I need you to keep pressure on the wound Ed," Roy told him, grabbing his hand and pressing it firmly over the wad of cloth at his throat. Not willing to risk further damage by speaking, Edward simply caught the general's eye and did as he was told.

Seemingly satisfied that Ed wasn't going to bleed to death, at least not immediately, Roy's hand fell away and he grabbed the unconscious assassin roughly and dragged him into the study. A moment later he could hear the muted sound of Roy's voice through the wall, and Ed tried to focus on that and not on the blood soaking through the fabric and dripping down his neck and arm.

His sense of time was oddly skewed, and suddenly Roy was back and Ed couldn't tell if it had been minutes or hours. The general dropped to his knees beside him, pressing his hand over Ed's to keep the compress in place. "You'll be fine," Roy assured him, "They'll be here any minute. You'll be fine."

Edward, being no great expert on neck wounds, would have liked to believe him, but the strange haziness that was overtaking him seemed to indicate otherwise. He was going to die, and his only consolation was that Roy was never going to get the bloodstains out of his carpet. Edward took a deep, slow breath and managed to croak out, "If I die, I'm going to _haunt _you."


	12. Comfort

Notes: One week on the nose! Much love to my reviewers for taking the time to comment. I really do appreciate it, and while I've been a bit too busy to get back to everyone individually, I just wanted to let you guys know that you rock. As of right now, I have chapter 13 half finished, which makes Conversion a chapter and a half from completion! **_throws confetti_** Unless an epilogue sneaks in, but I'm not planning on one. I also have two more Conversion side stories waiting to go up, I just can't post them yet because they'll spoil the ending. We're in the home stretch, folks. ;)

An interesting note, this chapter, most notably the final scene, was originally intended to be the end for Conversion. Of course, things changed a bit over the course of writing, but this chapter still holds a special place in my heart.

I also have a new Roy/Ed in the works, the prologue should be up within the next few days, so keep an eye out.

::Chapter 12::

::Comfort::

_February 2nd, 1927_

_The fire is back. The drive, the purpose. Not that it was ever really gone, just...dampened briefly by more domestic concerns._

_Edwards knows that we're close, some intuition telling him that we stand on the cusp of success. His focus is remarkable; I often have to force him to eat and more than once I've found him passed out on the floor of the workroom from sheer exhaustion. I worry for his health, but it seems almost cruel to ask him to stop, to rest. _

_Even as I write, he sits at the desk across the room, shifting through notes and pausing every so often to scribble something before moving on. Every few minutes, his eyes close and his head dips, only to snap up a moment later. He'll shake his head, slap his cheeks to wake himself before plunging back into his notes. The process repeats itself every few minutes until Edward inevitably loses the battle against exhaustion. _

_The past week has taught me something of his limits; it won't be long before he falls asleep now. I'll carry him to bed when he does. The least I can do is make sure he sleeps in a warm bed._

_The more focused he becomes, the stronger the unease in my gut.  
_

_It won't be long now._

* * *

Edward glowered at the wall and suppressed the urge the kick the nurse bustling around him. He despised hospitals, and even though they had only kept him overnight, he wasn't particularly pleased to be back. He didn't see why he couldn't remove the stitches himself; it was hardly complicated. "I hate you," he snapped suddenly, not for the first time. The nurse stopped, giving him a bewildered look, but he wasn't talking to her. 

The subject of his ire just nodded absently, scribbling something down on the clipboard resting on his knees. The words had become something of a mantra over the past week and a half, and Roy had ceased to pay attention to them. Ed grumbled to himself and returned to glaring at the wall. He wasn't really angry; his injury had just left him feeling perpetually irritable. He had taken it out on the general mostly, which wasn't really fair, if he wanted to be honest. Of course, he never would have gotten hurt in the first place if Roy hadn't been a marked man, so maybe it wasn't so unfair after all.

The nurse left and the doctor came in a moment later. He was a short, cheery man who always looked like he had forgotten to shave. "Good evening, Edward!" he chirped, smiling brightly and bouncing a bit on the balls of his feet. Ed mumbled a reply and tilted his head obediently so the doctor could poke and prod him. "Hm, yes, these look ready to come out. It's healing quite nicely, and the scar shouldn't be terribly noticeable at all."

He had been lucky. The wound had turned out to be mostly superficial, despite that it had bled like crazy. The knife had come perilously close to the major artery in his neck; a slight shift and he would have been dead before help could arrive. The notion that he had come so very close to kicking the proverbial bucket after surviving all he had still made him feel slightly ill. Particularly since the crackpot hadn't even been after _him _at all.

Said crackpot had been promptly tried and executed; the government tended to frown on the murder of its officials. Ed couldn't say he'd been terribly unhappy to hear the news. They never did figure out how he'd gotten into such heavily secured areas, and with his luck, the bastard would have busted out of prison and come back for him. He seemed the type to hold a grudge.

The doctor plucked the clipboard out of Roy's hands, looked it over, nodded, and tucked it under his arm as he pulled up a stool beside Edward. It wasn't the first time he had had stitches removed, and the process was quick and mostly painless.

Ed had to resist the urge to scratch the now-stitchless wound; it itched like crazy. Roy thanked the doctor and they made their way out of the squat building. He glanced at the general out the corner of his eye, feeling suddenly guilty about being such a jerk. It wasn't really Roy's fault he'd gotten hurt, though it was obvious the general felt terrible about it. He'd been nothing but conscientious to Ed since the attack. "I'm sorry."

Roy stopped and raised an eyebrow. "What for?"

"For being such a brat," Ed told him, making a face. "It's not your fault, you know. I was just...cranky."

That earned him a grin. "I didn't take it personally. I'm used to brattiness from you."

Edward punched him in the shoulder, but not too hard. "I want my lunch," he grumbled.

"We had lunch hours ago."

"You promised me lunch the day we were attacked, remember?" Ed reminded him. "Though I suppose it'd be dinner by now. A fair price for my pain and suffering I'd say. Al would barely let me out of bed for a week!" His brother had taken to mothering him horribly and by the end of the week, Edward had been ready chew through the bedpost in frustration. He loved his brother dearly, but if he wanted to be honest, grabbing a bite would earn him another hour or two before he found himself back in Al's clutches.

"Sounds fair," Roy agreed. He paused, turning a slow circle and making a thoughtful sound. "There's a diner not far from here. Nothing fancy, but you can't beat the food, and they give you enough to feed a small army." He grinned down at Ed. "We'll probably have to get you two."

Edward ignored the jibe, immensely cheered by the prospect of food. "Sounds good to me. Let me call Al first so he doesn't panic when we don't come back."

Ed turned around and darted back up the stairs and through the doors into the waiting room, Roy trailing behind to prevent Ed from straying further than he should. The receptionist looked up when he came in and grinned. "Back already?"

"Can I use your phone?" Ed asked, leaning on the counter and donning a pleading look. "I need to call my brother real quick."

"I'm not really supposed to let people use it, but I won't tell if you don't, " she said with a wink, setting the phone on the counter for him. "Just be fast."

"Thanks!" He picked up the receiver and dialed, tapping his foot impatiently while he waited for someone to pick up.

After six rings, there was a click and, "Mustang residence."

"Al!" he said, "I just wanted to call and let you know that the general and I are grabbing something to eat, so we'll be a bit late." There was a moment of silence, and Ed could practically hear his brother thinking. "Please, Al? I've been cooped up in the house for over a week!"

A sigh. "Okay, brother, just don't over exert yourself."

Ed rolled his eyes. "I'm not an invalid, Al. I'll see you when I get back." They said their goodbyes, and he passed the phone back over to the receptionist with a thank you.

"So, do we have the go-ahead from your mother?" Roy asked with a grin when Ed came back out.

"Oh, shut the hell up and start walking, Mustang," he grumbled.

Roy started down the street and Ed fell into step beside him. It was a nice night, winter having begun to grudgingly give way to spring. There was still enough bite on the breeze to warrant a jacket, but the weather had been surprisingly pleasant overall. They walked in comfortable silence down the mostly deserted street, and Ed was pleased to find that the knot of anxious nerves that had taken up residence in his belly seemed to be gone for the time being. The crazy was dealt with, his wound was mostly healed, and he was being fed. A good day all things considered, despite his earlier mood.

The diner turned out to be a small establishment, mostly empty save an old man nursing a cup of coffee near the window. The bells above the door jingled when Roy pushed it open, holding the door for Edward. A head poked out of the kitchen a moment later. The waitress beamed a smile at them and called, "Go ahead and sit wherever you like, I'll be with you in a minute," before disappearing back behind the double doors.

They found a comfortable booth in the corner and the waitress appeared again a moment later, two menus in hand. "Well, hello there, General," she said as she handed them each a menu. "I haven't seen you around for a few weeks."

Watching Roy Mustang turn on the charm was a bit like watching a train wreck. It was a terrible sight, one that made you more than a little sick, but for some reason you just couldn't look away. "Been busy," he said, leaning towards her slightly and giving the woman a slow smile and a flirtatious wink. "I've missed you terribly, Milly."

Milly just rolled her eyes and said, "Missed Bert's cooking, more like." Ed snorted a laugh, his estimation of the woman going up several points. Either Roy was losing his touch, or she was too smart to fall for his oh-so-charming routine. Ed was fairly certain it was the latter; he didn't bother to hide his grin when Roy looked at him.

"Well, that too," he admitted, returning Ed's grin. "That man holds a special place in my heart. Nobody makes a steak like Bert."

She shook her head with a laugh. "Keep your paws of my husband, General." She jabbed a finger at him, mock-threatening. "You might be a military man, but I could take you down any day."

"I believe it," he told her merrily, "you've succeeded in warning me off. I shall just have to pine from afar and drown my sorrows in food."

"You'll be having the usual then?" Milly asked, pulling a notepad and a pen out of her apron.

"I suppose so." He passed the menu over to her with a dramatic sigh. "I'm so boring. What about you, Ed?"

"Uh," he said intelligently. He hadn't even bothered to look yet, he had been too busy being amused by Roy and Milly. "I'll have whatever he's having, I guess," he said with a shrug, handing the menu over. The waitress nodded and scribbled down their order and vanished, returning a moment later with two cups of coffee. Ed accepted his with a smile and a thanks, curling his fingers around the warm mug.

Once Milly made sure they had everything they needed, she swept off to tend to the old man by the window. Ed watched her for a moment, and looked back to Roy to find the other man watching him. The stare made him slightly uncomfortable, and he squirmed a bit. "Come here a lot I take it?" he asked lamely.

"A couple of times a week, usually," Roy said, stirring some sugar into his coffee. "Anyone they thought might be a target had to break routines wherever possible. Kind of pointless really, considering both of the men were found dead at home, but you know how it is. Precautions and all that."

Edward nodded and they lapsed into silence. Roy was busy doctoring his coffee, and Ed took the opportunity to study the older man. There were differences there, he realized. Small things, things he hadn't noticed before now because he had avoided looking too closely. The general's jaw was a touch more square than that of his counterpart, and he was missing the tiny nick in his eyebrow that the other Roy had gotten as a child. The real resemblance was in the eyes, in the way he would smile when he wasn't being an arrogant bastard, in the sound of his voice.

Roy started talking, his eyes still on his coffee, and Ed closed his eyes and listened, not to the words, but to the sound. The way he formed his words, the pitch and tone, the cadence of his words. Things that were achingly familiar, and he wondered for a moment if maybe he could fall in love with this man.

"Ed?" He started and opened his eyes to find Roy regarding him with a quirked eyebrow.

His face was hot, and he knew he was probably blushing to the tip of his ears. What was getting into him? Thinking things like that. "Sorry," he said, "I kinda zoned out there for a minute. What were you saying?"

A skeptical look came and went, and Roy shook his head slightly. "I was saying the steak here is fantastic. You'll love it."

"Oh, is that what I ordered?" Ed asked, trying to keep his voice light and suppress the horrible certainty that Roy _could read his mind. _He managed to refrain from crawling under the table and dying of sheer embarrassment. Barely.

Roy made a sound Edward took for an affirmative and took a drink of his coffee. "You seem distracted," he said after a moment, "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," he said, suddenly very interested in his own coffee. He was saved further discussion by the arrival of their food, and Edward was immensely grateful to this Bert and his wonderful sense of timing. Edward stared as the oversized plate was set in front of him. He had thought Roy was exaggerating about the portions, but what he saw was a paradise of potatoes, mashed and piled dangerously high, and the largest single slab of meat he'd ever seen on a plate.

There was a heaven, and he was there.

"You just going to stare, or are you going to eat?" Roy asked, amused.

"Eat," came the immediate reply, and Ed dug in with force.

A short while later he scraped the last of the potatoes off his plate and into his mouth, settling back into his seat with a happy sigh. The general, he noticed, was barely more than half finished and looked to be slowing down considerably. Could probably use a bit of help, really. Ed reached out with his fork, swiping a nice bite of potatoes off of the other man's plate.

This earned him an incredulous look from Roy. "How can you still _eat?" _he asked.

Ed just offered him a grin and stole some more potatoes.

Eventually, Roy had to concede defeat and get the remainder of his meal wrapped up to take home. "You aren't human," Roy insisted as they left, stepping out into the cold night air. Ed shrugged on his coat and fell in step beside the other man. "No one so small should be able to eat so much. It just isn't possible."

"I'm not small," Ed snorted, "I'm compact. And you should be used to seeing the impossible from me by now old man," he grinned.

Roy snorted and shook his head. "I stand corrected."

They walked in silence a while, and Ed caught himself yawning more than once. He pulled out his watch to find that it was later than he had thought, nearly midnight. Al and Winry would probably be sleeping by now.

"Can I ask you something, Ed?"

"Sure," Edward replied with a sidelong glance at the other man.

"Does it bother you to be around me?" Roy asked after a moment, looking down at him.

Edward faltered for a moment. There was a loaded question if he had ever heard one. "A little bit," he admitted. Something inside him shrieked in embarrassment at the topic, but he was tired of getting so worked up over things and ignored it. "Some days more than others, but it isn't as bad as it was at first. I suppose I'm getting used to things." Which was true. Some days he missed Roy so badly it was a nearly physical ache. He could admit that now, that somewhere along the way he had fallen in love with the man. Maybe it was getting easier now that he wasn't so busy wallowing in denial.

Roy nodded slowly, expression unreadable. "I'm sorry that I can't be who you want me to be."

Ed stared at him in surprise for a moment, but Roy wasn't looking at him. He hadn't expected that, and he looked down at his shoes, his thoughts from earlier coming back to him. Could he love the general? He glanced sidelong at Roy, taking in the lines of his face thoughtfully. The idea made him nervous, like he was afraid of getting caught doing something he shouldn't. Would it be wrong to try? Edward felt hollow, lonely. Was it wrong of him to want to salvage something of what he had lost, even if it would never really be the same?

He was so lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice they were home until they turned up the walk. A jingle of keys and the door swung open, the house dark and silent. He followed Roy into the kitchen, squinting against the brightness when the general flicked the light on. Ed watched him, quiet, pensive, as he stored the leftovers away and dumped a forgotten plate into the sink.

Edward hopped up onto the counter and waited. He knew he needed to talk to Roy, and he wanted to be on eye level when he did. Nothing worse than trying to hold a serious conversation with someone who had at least half a foot on you. He wasn't entirely sure what he wanted to say, but he knew he couldn't leave things as they were.

"Good night, Ed," Roy said and started to walk past him when Edward reached out and grabbed his sleeve.

"I don't expect you to be him," Edward said quietly. Roy turned to face him, and Ed struggled to hold his gaze instead of staring at his shoes. "I don't expect you to be him," he repeated, resisting the urge to fidget as he plunged on, trying to find the right words. "I'm sorry that you thought that's what I wanted, because I don't. You're you, and that exactly who you _should _ be. It's just...I look at you and sometimes I see him and that's...hard." He trailed off and sighed. He wasn't making any sense.

Roy's expression softened and he stepped closer. Ed realized he was still clinging to the man's sleeve and released it, twining his fingers in his lap. "I can't imagine how hard it must be on you," he said gently, resting his hands on either side of Edward and leaning forward slightly. "And I truly am sorry that I'm making it harder on you than it needs to be. If there's anything I can do for you, you just have to ask."

"You've done more for me than I ever deserved," Ed said quietly. Ever since he was a kid, the general had looked out for him and Al. Helped them, did his best to protect them. And how did Ed repay that kindness? By being a snot-nosed brat, that was how. By never appreciating just exactly what the man was risking for them.

Roy smiled, a slow, genuine smile that was more eyes than mouth. "You deserved it. You always did." Something inside of him broke a little at those words, and Edward reached out slowly, gripping the fabric of Roy's shirt. Roy cocked his head slightly, questioning, and Edward tugged him forward and kissed him.

It was quick and awkward, a chaste brush of lips before Ed pulled back, face flaming. He wasn't exactly sure what had possessed him to do that, but the look of stunned surprise on Roy's face made his stomach knot in anxiety. He was still clutching Roy's shirt, he realized, but couldn't seem to make himself let go.

He bowed his head, frantically trying to find something to say, a reason or excuse to offer that would break the silence. A moment passed and there was a hand beneath his chin, gently forcing him to look up. He did, and suddenly Roy was kissing _him _and all thought ground to a screeching halt.

The kiss was slow and soft and infinitely better than his own awkward attempt. All of his bones went liquid, and Edward's other hand found his way to Roy's shirt as he leaned into the contact, clinging to the man for support against the flood of emotions that filled him. Fear, guilt and desire compounded by aching loneliness; a sudden, desperate need not to be alone.

Roy broke away and Ed opened eyes he hadn't realized he had closed, still leaning into the other man and heart pounding wildly. They regarded one another for a long moment, and Ed knew he had to say something, he just didn't know what. _I want you. I want him. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to hurt. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to make a mistake. I don't know what I want. _He leaned his head against Roy's shoulder, taking a little comfort in the feel of arms sliding around his shoulders. "I don't know what I want," he repeated aloud, those words perhaps the most honest he could speak. Ed felt Roy nod as gentle hands stroked his hair and toyed with his braid, a familiar click as the weight of the clip vanished. Fingers unwound the braid, threaded through his hair and Ed sighed, the feeling strangely relaxing.

Edward tightened his grip on Roy's shirt and buried his face in the other man's neck, taking comfort in the smell of him, the sound of his breathing. The hand stroking his hair stilled a few minutes later, and Roy pulled back slightly, resting his forehead against Ed's. "Then how about we just wing it?"

Wing it. That made things sound so much simpler than they really were. "What do_ you _want?" he asked. Roy's desires were just as important as his own, and part of him worried the man might just go along with whatever Ed wanted just to make him happy. He might not know what exactly he wanted, but he knew it wasn't that. He didn't want pity, and he didn't think that's what the general was offering, but it never hurt to ask.

"Me?" Roy drew back a fraction, expression thoughtful. "Honestly, I'm not sure. However." His lips curled in a slight smile. "I wouldn't have kissed you if I didn't want to."

Ed snorted. That could mean anything, really, but it did make him feel a little better. He could hardly demand a straight answer when he didn't have one himself, anyway. "Fair enough." He took a deep breath, tucking a wild strand of hair behind his ear and said, "Now what?"

Roy dipped his head and kissed him again, and that was all the answer he needed. Tangling his fingers in Edward's hair, Roy abandoned his lips in favor of his neck, careful to avoid the angry red line that marked his injury. Ed made a small, desperate sound in his throat as slow lazy kisses traced his jaw. He started slightly when hands slid beneath his rear, throwing his arms around Roy's shoulders for balance and locking his legs around his waist when the other man lifted him off the counter. Roy maneuvered them out of the kitchen, nipping gently at the flesh just below his ear and eliciting a throaty moan. Lips and tongue and teeth were driving him mad, and it was all Ed could do to keep breathing.

Another sharp nip tore a ragged gasp from his throat, and suddenly the cold wall was against his back and Roy was kissing him again, hard and hungry. Ed hummed his pleasure as Roy braced him against the wall, deft hands climbing up his shirt. Fingers ghosted over his side and Ed snorted a laugh, squirming away from the ticklish touch. Roy chuckled and the fingers retreated. "Do you want me to stop?"

"You can stop tickling...me..." The last word a breathless gasp as Roy shifted, a telltale hardness pressing against him. Ed had the distinct impression the bastard was teasing him, and growled, jerking him down by the collar for another kiss. That was all the prompting Roy needed. One kiss, another, and then they were moving again, through a doorway that Roy kicked closed behind them.

Later found him in the circle of Roy's arms, head tucked under his chin, listening to the steady rhythm of his breathing and the beating of his heart. Edward curled closer, the arms around him tightening momentarily at the movement. He stared at the hand draped in front of his face with heavy eyes, feeling strangely unwilling to sleep.

It was a strange thing, really. The whole thing felt very right and very wrong all at once, and Ed couldn't quite decide which it was. The feeling was muted though, distant, and for the first time since he had left, he didn't feel like he was being torn in two. Maybe this was exactly what he needed. He shifted, threading his fingers through Roy's, smiling slightly when the general squeezed his hand. Roy kissed the top of his head. "Sleep," the older man told him.

Ed made a sound of agreement, finally allowing himself to drift. It would never quite be the same, never quite what he had lost, but maybe...

Maybe it was good enough.


	13. Understanding

Notes: One more to go! This one is a bit on the short side, sorry.

::Chapter 13::

::Understanding::

_February 9th, 1927_

_Tomorrow is the day. Ed keeps telling me not to get my hopes up, that the chances of anything working on our first try are slim, but I think he's trying to convince himself more than me._

_I've been trying to stay positive for his sake, but I've never been very good at being selfless. I love him and I don't want to let him go, but I have to or I would never forgive myself. _He _would never forgive me, though I get the feeling that he might stay if I asked it, and that makes it all the more painful to endure. _

_He's going home, back to his brother and the place he belongs. Part of me is happy for him, but mostly, I keep thinking that in a few short hours, he could be gone forever. That in a few short hours, I could lose the best thing that ever happened to me._

_I've never been very good at being selfless._

* * *

Cold glass against his cheek, Edward leaned against the window and watched the snow falling softly outside. Some time in the night winter had reasserted its grip on Central. There was already a thin blanket of snow on the ground, and it showed no sign of letting up. He shifted slightly, ignoring the bit of pain of the movement caused, drawing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. 

He hadn't slept long, four hours maybe, before he had woken and found himself unable to go back to sleep. Ed had given up trying after a while, and careful not to wake Roy, he had slid out of bed and dressed. He hadn't been able to find his shirt, so he had taken the one Roy had discarded the night before, retrieved his pants from where they had been kicked beneath the bed and settled himself onto the window seat for a good long think.

Not that he had accomplished anything more than turning in circles, really. He glanced over at Roy, nothing but a dark shape amidst the blankets. Part of him just wanted to say 'fuck it' to his internal debate and crawl back beneath those blankets, curl up beside Roy, and stay there. The idea had its merits --he'd be warmer for one-- but until he sorted through the mess of his emotions, at least a little, he couldn't let himself. Edward had the strange feeling that if got back into that bed now, he would never leave it again. Which might be what he decided to do in the end, but it was too important a decision not to think through.

Ed heaved a sigh, fiddling with the cuff of his borrowed shirt. Which brought him back to the real question: What did he want? Did he accept his situation, did he accept what Roy was offering? The feelings he had for the man sleeping across the room, were they genuine? Or just a reflection of the feelings he had for the man he would never see again?

Did it matter?

Yes. Yes, that was probably the only thing he _was _certain of. It wasn't fair to the general to use him that way, as some sort of pale replacement. Even if the man might be willing to let himself be used. The problem was, everything in his head was so jumbled at the moment he was having trouble pinning down his own feelings into something definitive. It might have been easier if he hadn't slept with the man first, but that was hindsight for you.

A muffled, indignant meow from just beyond the door interrupted his thoughts and made him smile. Ed stood, and with a cautious glance at Roy, made his way to the door as quietly as possible. His mismatched footsteps were more pronounced than usual, the discomfort from the night's activities giving him a slight limp. Ed reached the door and opened it a crack, grinning when the cat darted inside and began to wind around his ankles, purring loudly. Ed closed the door and hobbled back to the window seat, the cat leaping up as soon as he settled and draping bonelessly over his lap.

Ed ran his fingers through soft fur; the repetitive motion soothing. After a moment he let his head fall back to rest against the window with a quiet thud, staring up at the slowly lightening sky. He knew there was a reason he had avoided any sort of relationship all those years; it just wasn't worth the hassle and heartache. All this emotional crap made his head hurt. There was no 'right' answer when it came to matters of the heart, no formula that made it all make sense. Ed preferred problems that were intellectual in nature; they were infinitely easier to solve.

Start with the known information. He knew he loved Roy, the one he had left. He knew that he wouldn't go back, even if he could. His romantic problems were secondary to Al. _Everything _was secondary to Al. He knew he liked this Roy. He knew he found him attractive. He knew he was lonely, and that loneliness could make people do things they might not otherwise do. Those were the facts, and while laying them all out made him feel a little better, he wasn't any closer to figuring out the Roy problem.

_Do I love him, can l love him? Or am I just afraid of losing that last connection?_

He looked back at the bed as if it held the answer, to find that Roy was awake and watching him with a sleepy dark eye. "Did you sleep at all?" he asked after a moment, smothering a yawn into his pillow.

"For a few hours, I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep."

Roy shifted a bit, then lifted the blankets in invitation. "It's barely dawn, and you must be freezing. Come back to bed."

Edward almost crumbled. He _was _cold, and tired, but mostly it was the offer of those arms that made him want to give in. The desire to crawl back into bed and let Roy hold him was almost physical; it was as if he was being offered permission to stop worrying. He sighed and shook his head, "I need to think."

"You never could take it easy on yourself," Roy grumbled, sitting up and rubbing his eye. "And not to --is that my shirt?"

Edward blinked at the sudden change in topic, looking down at the too-long sleeves draped over his hands. "Yeah, I couldn't find mine."

Roy looked around briefly, then pulled a bundle of dark material out from underneath him. "That was probably because I was sleeping on it," he said with a grin, tossing the shirt to the foot of the bed. "So, what are you brooding about?"

"I said I was thinking, not brooding," Ed muttered.

"You're tucked up in my window, looking like someone just killed your puppy; you're brooding," Roy said, stretching. "Is it about last night?"

Straight to the point. "Sort of?" Ed shrugged, a little self-conscious. "I'm just not quite...sure. About anything." Roy was silent, obviously waiting for elaboration, and Ed struggled to articulate his thoughts. "I'm worried that I might just be using you as a replacement for him, and that isn't right, it isn't fair to either of us." He squirmed slightly, but continued, "I can't figure out if what I'm feeling for you is real, or just an echo."

"...Does it matter?"

"It matters."

Roy nodded, resting his elbows on his knees and staring at the blankets thoughtfully. After a moment he looked back at Edward. "Sometimes sex is just sex. Last night doesn't have to be more than that if you don't want it to be."

Ed dropped his eyes, "I'm not sure that was all I want it to be," he said quietly, scratching the cat under the chin and thankful he was too tired to be more than mildly embarrassed.

Silence stretched out for a long moment, and when Ed finally dared look up, Roy was smiling at him. "Then how about this; you and Al figure out how to separate us, you go home, get some distance, and sort things out. We'll worry about it when you're ready."

Home. Distance. Time. Maybe time was the only thing that would let him sort himself out, and Ed was about to agree when it struck home exactly what the other man had said. _We'll worry about it when you're ready. _We. That almost made it sound like Roy was willing to wait for him. Ed realized that he really had no idea what the other man's feelings were. "What about you?" he asked.

"What about me?"

Edward sighed, exasperated. "This isn't just about me, you know. What do you want? What are_ your_ feelings about all this? Because I really don't have a clue, Mustang. The whole point here is that you aren't him, so where do you stand?"

There was a long silence as Roy considered that question. "I don't think I can answer that yet."

Yet. Which meant eventually, just not now. Ed could handle that. He nodded slowly, glancing out the window then back at Roy. Time was probably for the best, all things considered.

"Deal."

* * *

Ed wandered into the kitchen, doing his best to walk normally despite the discomfort. The resulting stiff-legged gait wasn't much better than the limping had been. He yawned and flipped on the light, starting when he saw Alphonse sitting at the counter, mug of tea in hand. "Al?" Ed shot him a puzzled look then grabbed the percolator off the stove, "Why're you up so early?" 

He put the coffee on to brew, turning back to Alphonse when no answer was forthcoming. Al wasn't looking at him, he realized, and Ed turned to see Roy standing in the doorway, dressed in nothing but pants since Ed was still wearing his shirt.

Oh, hell.

Ed glanced back at his brother, who was watching Roy through narrowed eyes, and he was struck with the odd notion that Al was about to leap up and defend his honor. Or something. Instead, the silence stretched out until Roy cleared his throat. "I'll be in the shower," he said, retreating back down the hall and leaving Ed and Al alone.

"Um." Ed leaned against counter opposite Al and folded his arms over his chest defensively. He was tempted to say, 'It's not what it looks like!' which would be stupid because it was _exactly _what it looked like. Instead, he fidgeted under his brother's stare for a minute before bursting out, "Look, Al--"

"You should be glad Winry's room is on the other side of the house," Alphonse interrupted, "because you are _loud._"

Edward felt his face turning several shades of red and he hid his face in his hands, wanting nothing more than to just disappear. "You heard?"

"It was pretty hard not to, Brother," Al said, a hint of humor in his voice.

There was absolutely nothing about the situation that was funny. His little brother had _heard _him having sex. With Roy. Ed wondered if it was physically possible to die of embarrassment, and if so, he wished it would hurry up and happen. He cracked his fingers and peered at his brother. "You couldn't have pretended you didn't?" he asked.

"Brother," Al began, and Ed dropped his hands, "I know you're still messed up over everything, and it's been very hard for you and if the general...if he took advantage of you, I'll kill him." For a brief moment, Edward though he was joking until he got a good look at Al's face. He was dead serious.

"No, no," he said, trying to reassure his brother before they had to explain how exactly the general wound up ripped to shreds. "I started it, not him. I...don't think I did it for the right reasons, but he didn't take advantage of me." Ed was actually kind of touched by Al's protectiveness, though he pretty sure this was topping the list of Most Awkward Conversation Ever.

"Oh." The serious expression vanished, replaced by one of acute embarrassment. " Oh. Are you two..." He trailed off, but the meaning was clear.

Edward poured himself a cup off coffee, and downed the scalding liquid far too quickly before pouring another. "No. I don't think. It's...complicated, but for now, I think we're just going to focus on fixing this problem and going home." He sat down beside his brother. "The rest can wait."

"All right." A pause, and then hesitantly, "What was it like?"

There was a solid thunk as Ed's head met counter.

* * *

Edward rotated his shoulder slowly, marvelling at how smooth the movement was. He had almost forgotten what it was like to have automail that wasn't a cobbled-together piece of crap. He dug a coin out of his pocket and flipped it, catching it easily as it fell. The difference in his fine motor control was amazing; he hadn't realized just how much it had deteriorated until Winry had replaced his arm. He glanced up and caught Alphonse smiling. 

"What're you grinning at?" he demanded, unable to keep an answering smile off his own face.

"You're like a little kid with a new toy," Al said, "It's funny."

"You have _no _idea what a piece of shit my old arm was. Hell, I didn't even realize how bad it had gotten. Remind me to send Winry flowers or something. That woman is _brilliant._"

Al snorted a laugh, "A bouquet of screwdrivers might be more her style."

Ed chuckled at the thought, stretching out a bit and wriggling his toes just for the sheer pleasure of being able to move them. He had already had his new automail for nearly two weeks; but having a fully functioning arm and leg again was still something of a novelty. The procedure on his arm had been hell, but Ed had to admit it was worth the pain.

Al kicked him gently to get his attention, then tossed a book into his lap. "Try that one," he said.

It had been nearly two months since he had returned to Amestris, and they were no closer to finding a solution to his problem than they were when they started. Winry had gone back to Risembool with Pinako shortly after replacing his arm and leg, unable to let work go for any longer while they waited for Ed and Al to find a way to detach him from Roy.

The only thing they had discovered was that whatever force tied the two together was weakening. Ed could go nearly three times the distance from Roy now than he could when he had first returned. It was better than nothing, and it meant that it might simply wear off eventually, but Edward didn't want to be stuck on a slowly lengthening leash waiting for the possibility. Unfortunately, they had hit something of a brick wall. Neither he nor Al had found mention of anything even remotely similar to his problem.

Roy had long since returned to work, which meant Ed got dragged along every day. A nearby office had been appropriated for the brothers to use for research, which kept them busy and out of the hair of the military personnel. The arrangement worked well, provided Roy didn't forget about Ed and go wandering off without warning. Which he had, once. Ed had not been pleased to learn that he had spent thirty seconds feeling like he was being turned inside out because the general'd had the "munchies'.

Edward had felt much better after kicking the bastard in the shin. Really, really hard.

He picked up the book his brother had given him, thumbing slowly through the thick volume, scanning the tiny, cramped script and pausing to read every time something jumped out at him. After an hour or so, Ed rubbed his eyes wearily, marked his page, and let himself fall backward with a loud thump. "I just want to go home," he muttered.

"Where is home, brother?"

Ed propped himself up on his elbows, giving Alphonse a bewildered look. "You forget where Risembool is already?"

Al shook his head, the troubled expression he wore making Ed sit up straight. "That isn't what I mean. I've been thinking, about everything you've told me about your time on that other world, about the Roy there and," he flushed slightly, "what happened with the general. I don't think this is home for you anymore. You're trying so hard to make yourself want to be here, and maybe you've even convinced yourself that you do, but..." Al shook his head. "You want to go back."

"My home," Ed said fiercely, "is right here. With you." He leaned forward and captured Al's hands. "I am never, never leaving you again, so you can get whatever wild notion you've got out of your head right now."

Alphonse met his eyes and was silent for a long moment before nodding to himself, as though coming to a decision. "I don't think the connection between you and the general has anything to do with him at all."

"What?" Ed shook his head slowly, confused.

Al freed his hands from Edward's grip, sifting through the notes by his leg until he found the page he was looking for. It was a slightly bent and crumpled copy of the array that Ed had used, with notes in the margins. Alphonse passed it over to his brother. "When I was looking over the array for any flaws that might have resulted in this," he waved a hand vaguely between Ed and the wall they shared with Roy's office. "something occurred to me. You and the other Roy had to activate the array together, because you no longer had the ability to do it alone, and while he could activate it, he didn't have the skill necessary to control the outcome."

Al paused for confirmation, and Ed nodded, wondering what his little brother was getting at. "There's always an element of uncertainty in a transmutation involving two or more alchemists," Al continued. "If you look here," he pointed at a section near the center of the array, "This gives a great deal of sway to the realm of thought, which I think was absolutely necessary to the success of the array. Unfortunately," he sat back on his heels, "that also left you vulnerable to side effects from the state of mind of the two people activating the array."

Edward stared down at the array in his hands, unseeing, when he realized exactly what Al meant. "Both of us were wishing I could stay."

"You aren't connected to the general," Al said, "you're connected to the other Roy _through_ the general."

"Shit." Ed said eloquently, certain that Alphonse was right. "_Shit_."

"If you go back," Al said slowly, "I think it will probably reverse the process."

"No!" Ed snapped. He knew his brother was worried about his personal happiness, and Edward couldn't decide if he was touched that Al wanted to send him back because he thought Ed would be happier, or angry that Al actually thought Ed could be happy without him. "If I have to wait until it wears off on its own, fine. If it _never _wears off, fine. I'm not leaving you."

"I wasn't suggesting that, brother. You aren't the only one who spent the last five years searching," he said, a hint of pain in the words that broke Ed's heart.

"I know, Al, and I'm sorr--"

"I'm saying I'll go with you."

Edward froze. He couldn't have meant that. He couldn't. "You...I don't think you realize what you're saying, Al," Ed said thickly. "That world, it isn't...it isn't the same. You wouldn't have your alchemy, your friends. Your _life, _Al. I can't let you give that up." The words came out in a rush, his heart suddenly at odds with itself. He didn't want Al to sacrifice anything for him, he was sick of sacrifice. However, he was being offered exactly what he had refused to admit he wanted, and he wanted so, so badly to accept.

Alphonse smiled slightly and pushed a pile of books out of the way so that he could sit beside Edward. "This isn't a sudden decision, Brother. I've been thinking about it ever since I realized how unhappy you are. I've considered all the consequences, and I _want _to go. I want you to be happy."

Edward leaned into taller boy. "What about your happiness?"

Al hugged him. "If you can be happy there, why can't I?"

Closing his eyes, Edward summoned up a picture of his strange little surrogate family in Boston. They'd love Al, he knew that. Everyone loved Al. They would treat his brother just as warmly as he had been treated. "What about alchemy? You won't be able to use it there, and trust me, it can be frustrating as all hell."

A sigh as Alphonse seemed to realize he would have to deflect his brother's objections. "I'll miss it, sure, but from what you've told me, there is plenty going on in that world to occupy the mind of a scientist. I'll just have to exchange one science for another."

"And Winry?" Ed persisted, "Pinako? Everyone else?"

"I'll miss them, Brother, you know that. Sometimes though, you just can't have everything, and I've already made up my mind. You aren't going to change it unless you can look me in the eye and tell me honestly that you don't want to go." Ed could tell by Al's voice that his little brother knew damn well that Ed couldn't do that.

In the deepest, most selfish place of his heart, he did want to go back. "Can you look me in the eye and honestly tell me that you won't regret it?"

Alphonse shifted and they were face to face, Edward searching the steady gaze that met his for any sign of uncertainty. "I absolutely will not regret it, Brother."

Edward believed him. He let his head drop forward to rest against his brother's. "I love you, Al," he said.

Recognizing the acceptance for what it was, Alphonse smiled. "I love you too, Brother."

Edward couldn't quite believe it. He wanted to laugh, to cry, to sing. Mostly, he wanted to work; there was a great deal of preparation ahead of them. The array would need adjustments to compensate for two travelers instead of one, but it could be done. He was going back.

He was going...home.


	14. Return

**Notes:** This is it. Just shy of a year after the first chapter went up, Conversion is finished. It's...kind of odd. This is the first story on this scale I've completed, and I kind of miss it already, though, at the same time, it's one heck of an accomplishment.

Eternal love and gratitude to my readers, especially those of you who have been with me since the beginning. I met some awesome people because of this fic. I'm going to reply to all comments on this chapter, so if you have something to say or questions to ask, now's the time to do it.

A special thanks to Staehli, for catching and fixing my slip-ups over Roy's eyepatch, my many misplaces commas, and for keeping me from posting this chapter before it was ready.

More notes at the end.

::Chapter 14:

::Return::

_February 10th, 1927_

_He's gone to say his goodbyes. He didn't want to, and if I were kinder I might have spared him the pain of separation, but they deserve to know. To hear it from him. I might be the only one who's a wreck, but they all love him in their own ways._

_This is the last entry I'll write, I can feel it in my bones. There's a sense of finality in the room today, this place where Edward and I have spent so much time together. _

_Ed fell asleep in front of the fire last night, and I couldn't bring myself to take him to bed. Instead, I sat up all night and watched him sleep, trying to memorize every detail, the lines of his face, the fall of his hair, the steady rise and fall of his chest. I can't imagine how this will seem to you, but if you've ever been in love, then you might understand what I mean._

_He still doesn't know how I feel. I didn't want to tell him, because I didn't want to cause any undue strain. I think, though, that I'll have to be selfish. The idea of letting him go without at least telling him how I feel about him seems wrong somehow. I'm not sure if I'm that brave, though. So I'll end this with something for him._

_Take care of him._

Tucked between the pages after the last entry was a small, heavily creased note.

_Edward--_

_Take the opportunities life gives; don't let them pass you by. _

_Tell those you love that you love them while you can.  
_

_Know that I will never, never forget you; that you are more important to me than I was willing to admit._

_I love you more than I've ever loved anyone, and I pray that you find happiness._

_ --Roy_

* * *

Edward studied the array carefully, lips moving silently as golden eyes traced carefully drawn lines, searching for problems or mistakes. It had taken them a little less than a week to make the necessary adjustments, plus a few tweaks that would --hopefully-- reduce the fatigue and prevent them from tossing up their lunch like Ed had the first time. A second check, a third, and Edward was satisfied. A giddy grin curled his lips and he sat back on his heels, resting arms on knees. "It's ready," he said, looking up at Alphonse. 

"It's ready," Al agreed, mirroring his grin.

A small stack of letters sat beside the array, each addressed in Alphonse's neat hand. Letters of explanation, of goodbye, to all the important people in their lives. His smile faded and he glanced back at his brother. "Are you sure?" he asked, for what was probably the thousandth time. He couldn't shake the fear that some day, Al would regret his choice. That some day, regret would breed resentment and Alphonse might never forgive him.

"I'm sure," Al replied, tone as firm as it had been every time the question was asked.

Ed nodded. He knew that Al had thought things through, that the decision was hardly impulsive, but he couldn't quite suppress the urge to constantly reassure himself that his brother wasn't having second thoughts. With a yawn and a stretch, Edward stood, stuffing his hands into his pockets and staring at the array on the piece of paper between them. The array was finished, letters written. The only thing left now was to tell Roy.

He would have preferred a letter in his case too; Ed was shit for goodbyes, and the whole thing was an uncomfortable echo of the parting two months before. Unfortunately, they needed Roy to perform the transmutation, and the man really deserved more than a letter.

"Are we ready to ask the general?" Al asked, getting to his feet.

"I suppose that's all that's left, isn't it?" Ed replied, anxiety and anticipation making an impressive knot of his insides. Al didn't reply, just offered him an encouraging smile and after a moment, Ed slipped out of the room, his brother trailing behind.

They found Roy dozing on the couch, she-Ed happily curled up on his chest. Edward reached over and gave her a scratch behind the ear, earning him a loud purr and a few contented blinks, then poked Roy. "Is anyone dying?" The general asked without opening his eye.

"Er, no."

A yawn. "Then go away."

Poke. "I need to talk to you about something."

"Death, destruction, emergency of any kind? No? Go away."

_Poke._ "I'm serious!"

"I don't consider being out of ham an emergency."

"I'm going back, you ass!" Ed snapped.

Roy started, half-sitting and dumping the cat into his lap in the process. He stared at Ed. "What?"

"I'm going back," Ed repeated, irritated that he'd been goaded into blurting it out like that. Roy didn't have to ask where; his sober expression said that he knew. "Al is coming with me."

Roy's gaze flicked over Ed's shoulder, then back. "You're sure?"

"We're sure," Al said, stepping forward and sliding his hand into Edward's in silent support. Edward squeezed it in thanks. He'd been dreading this conversation since they had decided to go back, but had insisted that it be him. It just felt like he should be the one to tell the general.

"Is it possible?"

"If you'll help us, yes."

Roy stared at him for a long, silent moment. Finally, finally he sighed and nodded. "If that's what you want, I'll do whatever I can."

* * *

A sharp knock at the study door and Roy looked up, pulling off his glasses and rubbing his eyes, grateful for the distraction. He was going cross-eyed trying to sort out the mess one of his business partners had dumped on him. "Come in." 

The door clicked open and Evan stepped halfway inside. "I'm sorry to disturb you. If you're busy, it can wait."

"Please, disturb me before I go crazy," Roy said, waving the old man into the room. Evan was holding a neatly folded bit of cloth. Kara had probably torn one of her dresses again; the kid was hard on clothes.

"I found this in the laundry," Evan said, passing it over, and Roy realized it wasn't one of his niece's dresses. "I wasn't sure if I should throw it out or not."

Roy unfolded it slowly, breath catching in his throat. It was a plain off-white shirt, one cuff frayed from constantly catching in a metal wrist. Edward. The sudden reminder of the younger man hurt; two months of separation did little to dull the pain. He knew he should tell Evan to get rid of it. The shirt may have been a startling reminder of his loss, but it was still just a shirt. Throw it out, or pack it away in storage with the rest of belongings that Ed had left behind.

"I'll take care of it," he said instead. There was understanding in the other man's eyes, and he nodded and slipped from the room without a word.

Sighing heavily, Roy leaned back into his chair, feeling very tired and very old. He knew that holding on to these remnants of Ed was unhealthy, that he needed to focus on moving on with his life, but that was easier said than done. It was hard to move on when every time he slept he dreamt of him; when every time he saw long blond hair his heart would stop before his head realized it wasn't Ed.

Roy did his best to distract himself from his thoughts, working more and sleeping less; spending as little time alone as he could. His efforts were only half successful, but he didn't know what else to do. Logically, he knew he had to let Ed go, but in his heart he still didn't want to.

Carefully, he refolded the shirt, setting it on his lap and smoothing out the wrinkles. Really, that was what it came down to. He wasn't ready to let him go yet. The kind of love Roy felt for Edward was the kind of love he hadn't thought really existed. Consuming and painful and utterly irrational. Even now, even after months apart, it was still a nearly physical ache.

Michael would have laughed, long and hard if he had still been alive to see his brother in such a state. They were always close, but Roy was a pragmatist where Michael was the romantic. He could wax poetic about Caroline for hours, and Roy would just shake his head and roll his eyes and tell the younger man that he had his head in the clouds. He was happy that his brother was happy, of course, he just didn't quite understand it.

Then suddenly Ed waltzed into his life, and all the things Michael had said began to make a lot more sense. He felt a twinge of sorrow. Mike would have liked Ed, a lot, though Roy couldn't say what he would have thought of his brother falling in love with another man. It was remarkable how much his life had changed in such a short time; he'd lost a brother and gained a daughter, had fallen in love with a man from another world and lost him forever.

Roy smoothed his hands over plain fabric again, then carefully set the shirt aside, turning back to the pile of papers on his desk. He slid his glasses back into place and picked up his pen. He really couldn't afford to spend his time woolgathering when he had to sort this out or lose a great deal of money in the process.

So many things had changed, but there were some things that never would.

* * *

Edward relaxed visibly as soon as he agreed. Roy wondered if Ed actually thought he'd be able to say no. "Thank you," he said, the words heartfelt. 

Roy checked a sigh and merely nodded, dropping the cat onto the floor and standing. He had been half-expecting it really, and it was probably better that it happened now, before things between Ed and himself went any further than one night and tentative feelings. "When?" he asked.

The brothers exchanged a look before Al replied, "As soon as you're ready. We've already made all the preparations."

They certainly weren't giving him much time to make his peace with the idea, were they? Roy regarded them both carefully. It wasn't about him at all, he knew that. It was about Ed and it was about Al, and if any two people deserved happiness after all they had endured, it was those two. If this was what they chose for that happiness, who was he to say no? "I suppose there's no point in putting it off, then." He raised a hand to forestall whatever it was Ed was going to say. "But I want to talk to you first."

Edward seemed surprised, then nervous, but he nodded. He let the other alchemist into the study and shut the door behind them. Ed hovered near the door, uncertain, and Roy went over to his desk and picked up the plain journal resting under a pile of paperwork. He flipped to a page near the back, pulling out a small, folded piece of paper. He leaned against the desk for a moment, staring down at the book in his hands. At least he knew that the man who had written it would take care of Ed.

He looked up, finding golden eyes. "I would have been whatever you needed me to be," he said softly. Roy had always had a soft spot for Ed, and now he was half in love with him and a little bitter that he had lost his chance before he'd even had it.

"I know," Edward said, expression softening. "And I probably would have let you, but...it wouldn't have been right." He sighed. "I'm sorry I let things go as far as they did, it wasn't fair."

"You don't have to apologize, I'm not angry with you." Roy was more irritated with the situation than he was with Edward. He could hardly blame him for wanting to go back to the man he loved. It was even a bit flattering, all things considered. He shrugged and smiled slightly. "If things had been different, it might have been me."

Edward studied Roy closely for a moment. "If things had been different," he agreed. He returned Roy's smile, "Maybe you should have made a move before I vanished for all those years." The light tone seemed forced, and Roy got the feeling that Ed was only half-joking.

He snorted. "You were sixteen the last time I saw you, I'm not a pedophile, you know."

They shared moment of amusement before Roy passed over the note he held. "I found it in the journal," he explained when Ed shot him a puzzled look.

Roy watched the play of emotions over Edward's face as he unfolded the note and read it. Curiosity, surprise, heartbreak, and finally a furious longing. "Why--" Ed's voice broke on the word, and he coughed and began again. "Why didn't you show me before?"

"I didn't want to make things harder on you than they already were. You already knew how he felt for you, and I was afraid a reminder might just make things worse." That was the truth, though Roy admitted privately that selfishness might have played a part in the decision to keep the note from Edward.

Ed didn't reply, and Roy waited a few minutes before he spoke again, giving Edward time to get a grip on his emotions. "Are you ready to do this?"

Folding the note carefully and sticking it in his pocket, Edward nodded. The younger man took a step forward and flung his arms around Roy, hugging him tightly. Startled, Roy simply stood there a moment, before returning the embrace. "Thank you," Ed said as he released him, looking slightly embarrassed.

Indulging in impulse, Roy leaned down and rested his forehead against Edward's. "You're welcome."

* * *

"But I don't _want _to go to bed!" Kara whined sleepily from his arms, trying unsuccessfully to keep her eyes open. 

"That's just too bad," Roy replied with a smile, shifting her weight slightly and opening the door to her bedroom. "Would you rather sleep on the sofa all night?"

"Wasn't sleeping," she protested, "I was resting my eyes."

Roy snorted a laugh. She had to have gotten that from Liam. It was his favorite excuse when he got caught during one of his naps. "Either way, it's past your bedtime."

An indistinct mumble was all he received as he navigated the maze of toys to her bed, careful to avoid tripping on something and sending them both flying. He laid her down and pulled the thick blankets over her. She grabbed his sleeve and gave it a weak tug. "Mop," she demanded with a yawn.

Oh, right. He cast around for the stuffed dog Ed had given her -- named 'Mop' for reasons no one could quite understand-- finding it mostly hidden beneath a pillow. He passed it over and she clutched it with another sleepy mumble. Ever since Ed had left, she had refused to sleep without it.

He laid a hand on soft black hair. Michael had taken more after their father, tall and fair-haired, and his daughter's startling resemblance to his brother had raised more than a few eyebrows and set tongues wagging. The rumors were utterly unfounded of course. They simply both bore a striking resemblance to Roy's mother. Kara more than him, really, and if she didn't grow up to be the spitting image of her grandmother, Roy would be very, very surprised.

Stroking the hair beneath his hand, Roy leaned down and kissed the sleeping girl on the forehead and stood. Somewhere along the way, once he had gotten past the initial panic of finding himself very suddenly a parent, she had become more daughter to him than niece. His eyes found Mop, still being clutched tightly, and he smiled. Edward had really had a way with her. He would make a good father.

Roy shut his eyes against the thought. All paths seemed to lead to Ed today. Would he get married, have children of his own? It seemed likely, after all, that was how things usually worked. Unbidden, the image of Edward marrying some faceless woman popped into his mind and Roy felt suddenly ill.

It had never really struck home for him until that moment. Edward was gone. He was home, probably moving on with life in a way Roy didn't seem to be able to. Chances were that he would meet someone, that he would fall in love. He was still young, after all.

Would he really begrudge Edward love because he couldn't let him go?

No. No, he wouldn't. He didn't _want _Edward to be as miserable as he was. He wanted the younger man to be happy, however he managed it. That certainty didn't make the notion any easier to stomach.

Roy crept from the room, heart heavy as he closed the door behind him. He leaned against the wood for a moment, before he sighed and turned down the hall towards his own room.

Tonight, perhaps he would find solace in the dreams.

* * *

Roy set the letters carefully to one side, promising to have them delivered to the intended recipients. He looked up and caught Edward's eyes, the weight of everything that might have been hanging between them. 

Ed nodded once, slowly.

Roy offered a silent farewell and placed his hands on the array.

* * *

With a weariness that was part physical and part mental, Roy peeled of his clothing and dropped it onto the floor. He found his pajamas in the dark and pulled on the pants, dropping heavily onto the bed as a wave of dizziness struck. He sat still, head in hands, and waited for it to pass. He must be more tired than he had realized. 

Just as he stood he was slammed by a fierce headache that dropped him back to the bed. The pain was blinding and intense; it felt like an eternity before it began to ebb. Roy rubbed his temples with the heels of his hands, wondering what was wrong on earth was--

He shut off mid-thought, heart stopping. There was a clear, familiar image in his mind; sharp as any photograph. An array. The image Ed had drilled into him, the one that his counterpart in that other world would need to activate in order for Ed to go home.

Roy was moving before he realized it, sprinting down the hall and thundering up the stairs, unwilling to even consider the image could be nothing more than the production of a tired mind. He threw open the door to the workroom he hadn't been inside in over a month, slamming into the desk in his haste. He fumbled with the oil lamp, lighting it with trembling fingers.

Roy tore open the drawers, throwing the contents haphazardly, searching for the chalk he knew had to be there. It was taking too long, too long, but he finally found what he was looking for and dropped to his knees; dredging up everything Edward had ever taught him as he traced the array as quickly and carefully as he could onto the floor.

He didn't think, didn't hesitate. As soon as he connected the last line he slammed his hands down and _prayed._

A surge of energy, a gut-deep pull, and the world moved sideways. Between one breath and the next, he found himself floating in a sea of light that was both peaceful and frightening, a heavy, looming presence behind him that he knew he wasn't meant to see. One heartbeat, another, and he was no longer alone.

He stared at the man that was so much like him but not. His jaw worked, but his voice seemed to have left him.

The other studied him for a long moment, a painful eternity before he said, "He's coming home." A small smile, an offered hand.

Roy wanted to cry, reaching out and grasped the hand like a lifeline. "Thank you."

"Don't make me regret it."

* * *

Edward reached out and took Al's hand, lacing his fingers through his brother's and closed his eyes against the bright light.

* * *

The sudden light left Roy momentarily blinded, blinking hard and trying desperately to see. There was silence, and for a horrified moment he thought nothing had happened, but then he heard it; the rustle of movement, a groan. 

His vision began to clear, and he saw an indistinct lump lying in the middle of the array.

"Edward."

* * *

"Edward." 

That voice forced Ed to fight his way through the disorientation, noting in a distant, analytical part of his mind that he didn't feel half as sick this time. Rolling onto his knees, it took a moment for Ed to find the man sitting outside of the array. "Roy," he croaked, voice rough, and he stumbled to his feet and lurched over to the other man, throwing himself into his arms.

He buried his face in Roy's neck as the man held him tightly and whispered, "Edward...Edward," over and over, the name a prayer, a benediction that made Ed want to cry.

"I love you," he choked around a too-tight throat, and suddenly he _was _crying and he didn't care. "I love you," he repeated, the words pouring from him. "I'm sorry, I missed you, I missed you so much and I am so sorry I left."

Hands on his hair, his face, and Roy was kissing him; wet and messy because Roy was crying too. Ed clung to him, a little shocked by the intensity of his own emotion, and wondering in a distant sort of way where he had kept it all. "I love you too," Roy whispered against his lips.

A sniffle from behind them, and suddenly Ed remembered his brother. He turned, reluctant to let go of Roy, and saw Al sitting on the floor. He sniffled again and rubbed his eyes, looking a little choked up and a lot embarrassed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," he said in a small voice.

Ed scrubbed his eyes viciously and took a deep breath, trying to get a hold on his emotions. He stood and helped Roy to his feet, before he went over to Al and did the same for him. As soon as Alphonse was on his feet Ed hugged him fiercely. "Thank you," he whispered.

Al hugged him back. "I'm just glad to see you so happy," came the quiet reply.

Ed put his hands on Al's shoulders and steered him towards Roy, still a bit wobbly on his feet. Dark eyes found his and for a second Ed forgot what he was going to say. He cleared his throat, tried only half-successfully to wipe the grin off of his face, and said, "This is my brother, Alphonse. Al, this is Roy."

Al held out a hand a bit shyly, looking a little overwhelmed. Ed couldn't really blame him. Roy took the offered hand and smiled. "It's nice to finally meet you."

"Yeah," Al returned the smile.

Amused eyes slid back to Edward. "I thought he was supposed to be your _little_ brother."

Ed laughed a little unsteadily and he was back in Roy's arms. "Screw you," he muttered against the soft skin of taller man's neck.

There was a loud roar and suddenly Liam leaped through the door, wielding a cast-iron skilled like a bat. He faltered, lowering the skillet. "Roy?" he said, uncertain. "I thought--_Ed!_" The skillet crashed to the floor with a loud clang, missing the man's foot by less than an inch. Ed grinned when Liam grabbed him and shook him a little. "Where the bloody _hell _did you come from?" he demanded, hugging Edward tightly and then thrusting him back for a good long look. "I thought I saw lightning, and then I heard voices and I thought we were being robbed for God's sake! It's _good _to see you aga-- who are you?" This last was directed at Al, who was watching the whole scene wide-eyed.

"That's my brother, Alphonse," Ed said, extricating himself from the overexcited Irishman's grip.

Liam planted his hands on his hips, looking absolutely delighted. "Is that so? Well, I'll be! Nice to meet you boy, nice to meet you! Oh!" He poked his head out the door and bellowed down the hall, "Coast is clear, Em! It's just Ed!"

"Dead!?" came the horrified reply.

"Not dead!" he shouted, "ED! Edward!"

"ED!" a young voice shrieked, and Edward braced himself at the quick thumping of short legs, Kara bursting around the corner a moment later and flinging herself at him. He picked her up and hugged her while the little girl wailed, "You came back! You came back! I knew you would! Mop said so!"

"I'm back for good this time," Ed said, finding Roy's eyes over her head, the words as much for him as the girl in his arms. "I'm never leaving again."

She sniffled. "Promise."

"I swear," he replied solemnly.

"Oh, Edward!" Emily warbled from the doorway, Evan beside her. She rushed over when he looked up and hugged him around the little girl in his arms. She stepped back, blinking rapidly and dabbing at her eyes with her sleeve. "I can't believe you're back, we missed having you around!" She hugged him again, and Ed shifted Kara so he could return the embrace. "But," she looked around, baffled. "How did you get in? Did you climb through the window?"

Ed heard Roy snort a laugh and shot him a glare. "It's, uh, a long story. I didn't mean to cause an uproar in the middle of the night." He hadn't realized there was a time difference between the two places. It had been early evening when he left, but it appeared to be much later here.

"It's quite all right, dear. We're just happy to have you back." She paused, seeing Alphonse for the first time. "Is this your brother? It must be!" She answered before Ed could. "I can see the family resemblance." She released Ed and moved over to Al, enveloping the startled boy in a hug. "Lovely to meet you, dear. I'm so glad Edward decided to bring you back here, so glad."

Emily released him with a bright smile, not the least bit concerned when Al just stared at her, seemingly at a loss for words. "That's enough standing around in this drafty old closet, let's go downstairs. You boys look like you need to sit down, I know I certainly do after the scare you gave us."

Alphonse moved closer, slipping his hand into Ed's as Emily herded them towards the door. She paused briefly to admonish Roy in an undertone about his state of undress, and Kara was hiding in his shoulder, regarding Al with the same shy curiosity that had greeted Ed when they first met. Ed stifled a grin, happy at the familiarity of it all.

He paused as they passed Evan, looking up at the stately old man, not entirely sure of his welcome. It was hard to tell what the other man was thinking at the best of times, his current expression carefully neutral. They stared at each other for the space of a heartbeat, before Evan sighed and relented. "Welcome home."

* * *

Edward started awake, blinking slowly and staring in bleary confusion. There was a weight against his legs and hip, his flesh leg suffering from that strange, dead numbness limbs got when proper circulation was nothing but a memory. Feeling incredibly lethargic and not particularly rested, Ed lifted his head, craning his neck over his should to see what was wrong with his leg. 

Alphonse was draped over the bottom half of his body, face wedged between the small of Ed's back and the sofa, snoring softly.

Well, that explained that.

It took a few more moments of sleepy contemplation for him to remember exactly whose sofa he was sleeping on. Ed's head shot up a second time, and only Alphonse kept him from leaping up. He scanned the room, but it looked like he and Al were the only ones there. Slowly, careful not to wake him, Ed slid out from underneath his brother, swinging a rubbery and unresponsive leg over the edge as he sat up.

Al snorted and shifted. The snoring stopped, and Ed waited, but it didn't seem like his brother was going to wake. Ed stood a little unsteadily, wobbling dangerously at the rush of prickly sensation in his leg. Reaching over, he grabbed the blanket tangled in Al's feet and pulled it up over his shoulders before hobbling out of the room, swearing under his breath at his leg.

The house was filled with weak, grey light; the grandfather clock in hallway read a quarter past six. Which meant that Roy would probably already be in the informal dining room with his paper and coffee. Unless he was still sleeping after the late night everyone had, but Roy always seemed to be an early riser no matter how late he went to sleep.

The rustle of a newspaper confirmed his guess, and Ed stepped inside quietly, leaning against the doorframe and taking in the sight.

Roy was already washed and dressed, damp hair tied neatly back and reading glasses perched on his nose. He hadn't noticed Edward yet, taking an absent sip of coffee as he frowned slightly at whatever he was reading. It was strange how happy it made him just watching Roy read. It was a scene he had thought he'd never see again.

It sort of drove home the fact that he was really back. That he was exactly where he wanted to be, and that his little brother was asleep in the other room instead of a world away. Ed shifted slightly, and Roy looked up at the sound, smiling when he saw who it was. "Morning," Ed greeted, finding a chair.

"Good morning," Roy said, folding his newspaper and pulling off his glasses. Resting chin on hand, he regarded Edward for a long, silent moment before he spoke. "When I woke up, I thought it was just a dream. Then I came down and saw you and your brother asleep right where I left you, and I realized that it was real." Roy reached out, reverent fingers tracing down his cheek, along his jaw, and Edward leaned into the touch. "I thought I'd never see you again."

"I'm here," Ed replied softly.

Roy's calm facade fractured just a bit, and Edward realized that no matter how miserable he might have been, the time they spent apart had been much, much harder on Roy. "I don't want to lose you again. I don't think I could take it."

Edward captured his hand and squeezed reassuringly. "I love you," he said, fierce. "I'm not going anywhere unless forcibly removed, and --let's be honest-- I could kick your ass."

Roy chuckled, some of the tension draining out of him. "I'm not going to dispute that." He paused, shifting and drawing Ed's hand to his lips, brushing a kiss across the knuckles. "I love you, too."

Ed smiled, a little embarrassed, but mostly pleased. He took his hand back, swiping Roy's coffee in the process and hiding what he was certain was a moronic grin behind the mug. He had his little brother and he was madly in love with the man across the table. Beyond that, there was nothing that Edward really wanted.

For the first time in a very long time, he was no longer seeking.

He had finally found everything he was looking for.

* * *

**Further notes: **I put together a soundtrack for Conversion for those of you who would like to take a peek. You can find the link in my profile. 

There will be at least four Conversion related side stories in the near future (two of which are already written), for those of you who are interested in them, I suggest you put my story 'Midnight' on alert, since they'll all be posted there.

It's been fun guys, and thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, fan arted and encouraged. You all rock my socks.


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